The Last Oddetsey

[kodster]

(D20 roll: 16

people not in the fight don't have to do this)

[shadowflare]

Marisa drew out her hakkero, threw some mushroom powder in it, and locked and loaded on the postcard master.

"Eat lazer!"
(Rolled an 11.)

[alex_holt]

Professor Vengeance, Epsilon, Twitch, Eudial, Marisa, Phantasmic Slammer

Vs.

Samurai Chicken, Ogre, Wigglituff Necromancer, Tedious postcard man and the Death of VHS

Eudial has little time for works, and immediately prepares a fiery blast to incinerate the armoured Death of VHS, but even as the bolt appears to be about to connect, a whirring sound emanates from the Black and White armour and the fire bolt reverses down its trajectory and hits back into Eudial sending her spinning backwards although unharmed. It apparently has a rewind function…

Vengeance however has a little better luck, spinning his thoughtsteel blade towards the hostages it morphs into a protective bubble to keep them safe from the fight. Even as he spins to the Ogre he notices that creature isn’t entirely what it initially appeared, a complex suit of power armour is unfolding outwards from those giant knuckle dusters. It’s managed to cover his, arms, shoulders and neck before Vengeance manages to cut some of the actuators with a slice from his cane-laser – still, he only narrowly manages to avoid the massive armoured right hook that demolishes the pillar he had been standing by.

Twitch makes a beeline for the Wigglytuff – even as several assorted creatures begin to rise from the ground around it – but Twitches new blades shatter a spectral Flowerpot man, decapitate a vampire-gerbil and disembowel a zombie Kligon. However even as his blades are inches from his target, he feels an impact from the side. A postcard. Even as he is impacted he feels teleportation sickness as he finds himself suddenly in a paddy field farming mandrakes. Another impact a moment later and he finds himself on a snowy mountaintop, observing Yetis playing backgammon. A third card hits and falls to the ground, next to him, and he realizes that it shows the exact place he now finds himself – a rundown seaside town with low employment rates and miserable weather.

He contacts the castle on his communicator, but apparently there will be a bit of recalibrating before he can teleport back to the fight. However, as he is waiting, he notices something nearby – a small but perfectly formed conch shell. Something about it radiates magic, and he picks it up and stuffs it in his satchel and waits for the teleporter…

Back in the fight, mere moments after he had vanished Twitch off to God knows where, the man with the tedious little moustache is slammed backwards through a window even as he turns to defend himself: a flurry of postcards displaying the beaches of Gallifrey, the Historical Sites of Lemuria and Milton Keynes are incinerated as the man is blasted backwards through the window behind him and down to the pavement below with a thud by the impact of Marisa's laser…

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART II

[alex_holt]

PART II

Epsilon engages the rooster – the sword hums softly as it swipes in devastating arcs, almost as if the atoms of the air itself are being sliced with every stroke. It takes everything the robot has to keep out of the way of that blade, and one slight hesitation and hydraulic fluid begins to leak out of pipes in his left arm as the blade cuts through his chassis and doesn’t even slow down… Epsilon however manages to bull-rush the rooster and once in close range lets off the miniaturized party bomb directly in the fowl’s face…

Vengeance is struggling to avoid the massive electrified punches of the Ogre, and his recently pristine outfit is caked in the dust of demolition. A quick trip as he tries to sidestep the next blow leaves him seeing the titanic fist accelerating towards his face, but then….

SMASH

Phantasmic Slammer, coated in the yellow paint granting electricity immunity has taken the blow for Vengeance – Electricity lights up the room for a moment, crackling around the hand as it leaves a massive fist shape dent in the top of the combat robot. And then…. FLIP.

A combination of the flipper and telekinesis blasts the Ogre directly upwards through the roof, and he sails out over the city in a huge arc, the end of which can be heard here from several miles away.

The Wigglituff is summoning yet more creatures into the fray – most the horrible remains of creatures from that time Clthulhu was subsidizing Jim Henson’s creature shop from behind the scences and succeed in pushing the team back a bit through sheer numbers. However, seeing an opportunity, the fire laser of Vengeance catches a gap in the horde and one shot of the cane laser hits directly to the pokemons rubbery body, puncturing the thing and sending it bouncing round the room while its minions crumble.

In the duel between Eudial and the Death of VHS, long strands of VGS tape have extended forth from the wrists of the black armoured figure like horrific tentacles from the 80s, and suspend the witch seemingly helplessly in the air… The creature begins to monologue…

“Now you see that I…….ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffflll lllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk”

A grin crosses Eudials face. Trying to restrain a pyromancer using highly flammable VHS film is apparently a really stupid idea as fire shoots along the strands back inside the wrists on the Death of VHS, which shrieks with pain. Several more fire blasts and it staggers backwards and then…. Suddenly some crude digital beeping…

“Ahhh it is finally ready, my destruction of you will have to wait a moment.”

Suddenly the whirring starts within the black armour again, though this time it sounds like it is going the opposite way… With the speed of Fast Forward the Death of VHS accelerates out the room at incredible speed to some unknown destination… even as Twitch manages to rematerialize in the room.

However, their feeling of Victory is short lived… a monumental shriek of metal draws them all to the window… one of the nearby figures that had been maintaining the shield – a huge huge retro looking robot has stopped its silent vigil and turned its decidedly creepy gaze towards the party…

[Badnik96]

Phantasmic Slammer grunts in pain (I think?) due to the dent in his flipper plate. He tries using his telekinesis to pop it back out with no avail. Welp.

"Dafuq is that robot thing? Whatever, let's go for it!" He charges at full speed toward the retrobot.

[alex_holt]

PLAYZOOKI

Playzooki wanders round for a while but being of a sort who is not easily impressed and very easily terrified, nothing particularly catches his attention. However when he returns to the kitchen he finds the chef robot unplugged and all the food gone!

Replugging the robot in, it reports that some dastardly little mammals of some sort have stolen the food!

KHLOE

Khloe has absorbed so much fascinating information about the Church of Vengeance that even the very enthusiastic Cucumberoo is getting very slightly weirded out by things. Currently she is watching in rapture as Cardinal Zeeb Ra, the Zebra (Zebras are not known for their originality of names) gives a fascinating account of a meeting of Vengeance and a being called the Wootinator.

[kodster]

"Damn you! Get back - " The enemy had already left. "...here." Eudial groaned. She was starting to have the upper hand too.

And then...

one of the nearby figures that had been maintaining the shield – a huge huge retro looking robot has stopped its silent vigil and turned its decidedly creepy gaze towards the party…

Eudial caught sight of this and jumped back. "Heads up!" she cried. Drawing fire about her, she assumed a defensive stance, ready to fry or overload this thing's circuits if need be.

[alex_holt]

AURELIA

After a bit of communication with George, a little while later the unconscious form of the Demon demaerialises as the Castles' systems bring him into the holding cells deep in its depths. The team enjoy some delicious hazelnut cake before considering their next options.

After a while, they say their farewells to the old lady, and continue onwards! Aurelia herself asks around, and after consulting a Flotilla of Tiny Floating Galleons, discovers that the biggest newpaper in the Melded News-Hawk. After a bit of cycling around the city, and they arrive a the gates of the News Hawk Offices - a dramatic glass tower with a very noticable feature on the top. A series of portals are opening and closing constantly allowing various alternate universe versions of the mechanical bird that is the mascot to fly across and then vanish - golden ones, silver ones, rusted ones, ones of energy, ones of fire, all briefly making their appearances.

The front door is wide open, and the reception inside is open to the public.

[alex_holt]

LELAND AND CLEO

After a bit of travel, find themselves outside the home of the accountant they had been refered to...

[NFX]

With a faint pop, Twitch appeared back alongside the rest of the group, shaking himself a little. He was never going to get used to teleportation, was he? Looking around the room, he noticed a broken window, a giant hole in the roof, and numerous other nuances of his surroundings that imply a pretty substantial battle had just finished. "What...what happened?" he asked, still noticeably woozy from the multiple teleportations in a relatively short timeframe.

Before he could get an answer, though, a metallic screech echoed out around him, and he slowly turned his gaze to the window, in time to watch the immense mechanical beast lumbering towards the fighters. All the macaw could manage was a faint squeak, as he began slowly moving backwards...tripping over his bag of holding. Twitch looked from his bag, to the robot, and back to his bag. You could almost see the idea forming in his head, as he stuffed his beak into the bag, and pulled out one of the three flash bombs.

Carrying the bomb in his beak, Twitch gave a rather loud squawk to get everyone's attention, before coming in to land, bag in tow, amongst the remaining members of their clan, and throwing the bomb straight into the ground.

[alex_holt]

VENGEANCE, TWITCH, EUDIAL, MARISA, EPSILON and PHANTASMIC SLAMMER are all hit by the FLASH BOMBS granting them superspeed for the next approximatly 2 and a half minutes. You have ONE post to describe what you do with that time of super speed, where you can operate at 100 times normal speed

[majinb]

Melded News-Hawk! I desire to place... an ad!

[NFX]

As soon as the bomb went off, Twitch staggered backwards slightly. That was a little more disorienting than he had expected. Despite that, he somehow felt faster, and a quick shake of his wings confirmed this, giving off a faint buzzing noise. The macaw gave an excited smile, before shooting towards the mechanical goliath like a feathered rocket.

Twitch smashed his way through the window with a noticeable bang (It was hard to tell whether the window had shattered before Twitch reached it or not), zeroed in on the mechanoid, and began zooming all around it, hacking and slashing away with his wings and his tail at any unprotected and vulnerable-looking areas he could find as he went. It was a retro robot, so it was bound to have some weak spots.

(OOC: Twitch has only used one Flash Bomb, Alex. Your above post has "Flash Bombs", plural. I would like this rectified to avoid confusion. Twitch still has two bombs at his disposal. =D)

[Badnik96]

Phantasmic Slammer is now going even faster. Shit's about to go down.

[playzooki]

playzooki wondered how the mammals had got in here.

"How did they get in? Is there anything left?"