The Last Oddetsey

[majinb]

Cycling through town looking for wrongs that need righting, Aurelia spots a sleazy looking Demon at an Poor Old Ladies frontdoor trying to sell her help with her accounts (which are in a poor state) in exchange for her soul. The lady is crying because if her forms aren't sorted soon she will lose her house, and only this demon is willing to help...

Aurelia and her followers cycle towards the calamity. They park their tandem bike on the sidewalk. Aurelia looks at her custard/pebbledash/lie-detector. [OOC, I expect Alex to fill me in on my findings :P]

"Warriors! This is our moment! Observe that sleazy looking Demon and his despicable ways. Observe the Poor Old Lady and her distress. Conesnatcher the Squirrel, yours is the important task to help the Poor Old Lady fill in her forms. Goldrod Goldmark Goldenloins the Dwarf, Imogen the Leprechaun, Wentworth the Mammoth, the 4 of us shall take down the sleazy looking Demon! Wentworth, you and your energy powers shall provide support, whilst the rest engage him in melee combat. Non lethal violence only! Once we have subdued him, we must contain him. I shall entrust Wentworth to do so, whilst Goldrod, Imogen and myself shall then assist Conesnatcher and the Poor Old Lady in finishing her forms once and for all!

And don't forget, our team name is still in its beta stage. On this mission we shall be known as The Spanish Inquisition, after this mission is over we shall evaluate!

Now, follow my lead!"

The cooky quintet flies graciously towards the calamity.

"Hello sleazy looking Demon!"

[NFX]

"Stupid question, I know, but... is everyone ready?"

Twitch glanced up at the witch with a quick nod, shaking his newly metallic wings a little, along with his tail. "I guess so," he replied, "I need to get used to these things."

[NWOWWE]

As Leland leaves the room an intern casually hands him a small computer tablet like device without meeting his eyes and carries on walking as if nothing had happened.

The tablet possesses detailed maps and schematics of Triablos Industries headquarters, how to get there, and some images of the Phoenix engine so you know what you are after. It also has dossiers on Ms Triablos, and her half brother Mephistopheles who is in charge of security, as well as Triablos Industries as a whole.

Gaunt watched the intern walk out of sight, shrugged, and then examined the tablet he had been handed. He pocketed it for the moment and braced himself for another unpleasant trip down to the ground floor. He passed by the receptionist on his way to the elevator leading outside and even the receptionist seemed to be taking no notice of him at the moment.

Once outside the building Gaunt pulled the tablet out again and began reading through it's contents. A surprisingly in-depth breakdown of the Triablos headquarters. An absurd image of himself crawling through their duct-work rose in his mind, but he brushed the thought aside. He flipped through a few pictures of the object he was after. How would he manage transporting that by himself? Well that would have to be a problem for later. What's next? Dossiers on Ms. Traiblos, someone who was the chief of security and then a rundown on the company itself. He read through them all earnestly. (OOC: Info dump?)

[Badnik96]

Name: Phantasmic Slammer
Gender: N/A
Species: Sentient Combat Robot
Physical description: I've got better than that, I have a picture!

340 lb pneumatic flipper, gained sentience due to some odd incident.
Powers:
-Is armed with a pneumatic launcher and can flip things pretty far.
-For some reason has telekinesis. Probably came with the sentience.

STRENGTH: 3
AGILITY: 3
INTELLIGENCE: 2
WILL: 2

Skills:
-Telekinesis: Picks up a nearby object with its mind and performs an action with it. However, this power can't be used to do anything a human pair of hands couldn't do.
-Box Rushing: Charges in a straight line at ludicrous speed.

D20 Roll: 13

[shadowflare]

Marisa gave the tiny sheepbeast some head pats. "I'm gonna have to give you a great name, what with you being all noble and stuff, ze. Unless you've got one already, maybe.... uh, How about Shaun? That should be a good name, I think.... so, then let's catch up with the rest of them, it won't be an adventure without us, right?"

She followed the rest of the people following Eudial, who seemed to worry about something

"Stupid question, I know, but... is everyone ready?"

"As ready as we'll ever be, ze? Don't worry, we've go this! We'll go out, beat the thing, and be back in time for dinner!" she said, grinning.

[andrewj]

Cleo followed Gaunt out of PTT Enterprises.

"What is that device telling you about the Phoenix Engine? Do we have any idea why Mr. Hedgehog is so keen to obtain it?"

[alex_holt]

EUDIAL, TWITCH, MARISA, VENGEANCE & EPSILON

The teleporters activate and suddenly there is a strange noise of whirring as if something isn't quite right, and then the teleporters fire off and the team vanish.

A few moments later they materialise outside the building where the siege is going on - a fairly unremarkable building, although the fact that one of the huge colossal armoured figures from earlier is still powering the shield nearby. There is a police cordon around the area, and a Pigeon in uniform appears to be directing the police there using a megaphone. Several of the tough officers are towards the front - a small three headed dragon, a weremoose and a cyborg Orang utan hold the front line. A sentient danish pastry with a sniper rifle is perched on a nearby roof.

However, more odd is the fact a blue and yellow combat robot seems to have dropped out of the teleporter onto the concrete behind them, and bizarrely seems to be acting as if it has sentience. A hardox rolling pin, a set of magical hairstyling combs that can create an hairstyle instantly, some elementally resistant adaptive paint (will shift to resist fire, electricity, cold or magic after attacked by each) and a small remote controlled American man.

AURELIA

The Sleazy looking demon cringes at the angelic presence, Aurelia seems to make his skin itch as he starts scratching furiously.

"What d'you want Miss, just offering to help this old lady I woz?" The demons tail begins to unsheath spines that were retracted into the skin up to this point.

CLEO & LELAND

Reading through the dossiers, they extract the following information:

- Ms Beezlebubetta "Bee" Triablos is a very attractive Demon of a similar type to Leland himself, she is known to be ruthless in business and currently single after splitting up from her long term partner.

- Mephistopheles is a typically rough half-demon, prone to scraggliness - he is less violent than many of his kind, but made his fortune as an adventurer using his pyromancy powers. He later returned home to act as chief of security for his half sister.

- Triablos Industries is the worlds premier supplier of Demonic infused technology - and have exploited the benefits of how easily demonic magic can produce heat effects to create environmentally (if not soul) friendly power sources for their items making them some of the cheapest items to run available on the market in most fields of electronics.

The Triablos warehouse does indeed have air ducts and sewers but it also lists Ms Triablos favourite Scottish Takeaway and her regular order (battered haggis with a side of battered irn bru batter), the address of an accountant who works for the company and a few other potentially useful information points.

[majinb]

"Sleazy looking Demon, your tyranny ends here. Miss, The Spanish Inquisition shall help you today!"

[kodster]

EUDIAL, TWITCH, MARISA, VENGEANCE & EPSILON

The teleporters activate and suddenly there is a strange noise of whirring as if something isn't quite right, and then the teleporters fire off and the team vanish.

A few moments later they materialise outside the building where the siege is going on - a fairly unremarkable building, although the fact that one of the huge colossal armoured figures from earlier is still powering the shield nearby. There is a police cordon around the area, and a Pigeon in uniform appears to be directing the police there using a megaphone. Several of the tough officers are towards the front - a small three headed dragon, a weremoose and a cyborg Orang utan hold the front line. A sentient danish pastry with a sniper rifle is perched on a nearby roof.

Eudial rubbed her head. Teleporting clearly didn't agree with her... wait, what? Eudial gawked at the choice of officers. Even back home things just didn't get as weird as this. But she shook her head and quickly looked away...

However, more odd is the fact a blue and yellow combat robot seems to have dropped out of the teleporter onto the concrete behind them, and bizarrely seems to be acting as if it has sentience. A hardox rolling pin, a set of magical hairstyling combs that can create an hairstyle instantly, some elementally resistant adaptive paint (will shift to resist fire, electricity, cold or magic after attacked by each) and a small remote controlled American man.

...to suddenly glance at this appearing thing! What the?!

""Wh-what is this thing?!" cried the Witch.

[Badnik96]

Phantasmic Slammer's first thoughts upon gaining sentience were that it had become unconfortably warm. He notices some things came through the teleporter with him (though he doesn't know how he got teleported or why) and picks them up.

Wait, picking things up?

Slammer notices he has managed to lift the HDPE rolling pin without firing its flipper or even touching anything. "Odd. Telekinesis? I guess stranger things have happened, like me being able to think all of a sudden. I wonder what's going on back home."

Slammer can't really find much use for the rolling pin, though it does remind him of an old rival. Then he notices the paint and reads the label.

"Elemental resistance. Now that's cool."

Phantasmic Slammer applies the paint using his telekinesis, and it applies a bright sheen to the outside of Slammer. The paint seems to dry near-instantly somehow. Slammer eyes the hairbrushes and remote control human, but can't see much of a use for each. Not knowing how many things he can pick up at a time, he tries to pick up the rolling pin, controller for the human and the hairbrush at the same time, but can only pick up two. He fires his flipper and places the hairbrush inside his chassis, hoping it will come in handy later. He attempts to maneuver the remote controlled human, but it seems its batteries are dead, so he places it on top of his chassis. He notices the motley crew of people that appeared to have come through the teleporter with him, and drives over, hoping they won't try to kill him or anything.

"Hello, hopefully-kind people, could someone explain to me where I am, or why I seem to be able to talk?"

[NFX]

The macaw stood alongside Eudial, frantically shaking his wings and head. He was sure he would get used to teleportation, but he would much prefer sticking to self-powered flight for now. Once he had gotten over the shock of his first teleport, he took a look at the scene in front of him. There was clearly a stand-off between the Confectionery Combatants Committee and the Farthing Wood Elite Task Force, and he assumed the rift source was probably somewhere nearby. Twitch glanced up towards the witch and the robot, then to Marisa, Vengy and the other robot, before trying to figure out how he c-wait, what?

The parrot performed an excellent example of the double take towards the newcomer to their group, inadvertantly jumping back into Eudial's leg. He scampered around behind the lady in red, wondering how on earth it was levitating the stuff that had appeared alongside it. And how was it able to talk?

[steven_mcg]

The teleporters activate and suddenly there is a strange noise of whirring as if something isn't quite right, and then the teleporters fire off and the team vanish.

A few moments later they materialise outside the building where the siege is going on - a fairly unremarkable building, although the fact that one of the huge colossal armoured figures from earlier is still powering the shield nearby. There is a police cordon around the area, and a Pigeon in uniform appears to be directing the police there using a megaphone. Several of the tough officers are towards the front - a small three headed dragon, a weremoose and a cyborg Orang utan hold the front line. A sentient danish pastry with a sniper rifle is perched on a nearby roof.

Ooof! Eergh. Blecch. That's the trouble with this world. I never know if what I'm seeing is really there or if it's just these teleports scrambling my brain. Ahhhhh. Transmat sickness. Worst kind.

However, more odd is the fact a blue and yellow combat robot seems to have dropped out of the teleporter onto the concrete behind them, and bizarrely seems to be acting as if it has sentience. A hardox rolling pin, a set of magical hairstyling combs that can create an hairstyle instantly, some elementally resistant adaptive paint (will shift to resist fire, electricity, cold or magic after attacked by each) and a small remote controlled American man.

You see, this is exactly what I'm talking about. A fully sentient robotic combat machine with a magical makeup kit and a remote-controlled cowboy. Transmat-induced insanity or real-life insanity?

[pokes with cane]

Oh camshafts....

Leave this to me, everyone - I speak mechanical death machine!

(Hey ho, we can always use more killer robots on our side! I'll present some of my manual tools as a gesture of camaraderie and see if this mechro-morph doohickymawotsit can fix any ailments it might have.)

[kodster]

I can't take much more of this...

That line went through Eudial's mind repeatedly, even though she believed all this trouble would soon be worth it. Okay, Epsilon was one thing; androids were believable. This... this pretty much made the least sense of anything Eudial had encountered previously, even the Sucker and the Cucumberoo. (OOC: She doesn't notice the sentient danish pastry with the sniper rifle, otherwise she'd pretty much faint. :P)

Leave this to me, everyone - I speak mechanical death machine!

Of course. Vengeance would be accustomed to such unfamiliarity. Best to leave it to him. "Y-yeah, good idea," said Eudial faintly. She looked around, and (reluctantly) asked the officers what was going on.

[Badnik96]

Leave this to me, everyone - I speak mechanical death machine!

"I can speak English just fine, thanks. You look like a pretty technically-minded guy, do you have any idea how I gained sentience? One moment I'm just sitting on the Team Ignition workbench, waiting for my builder to get back from Jamaica, and next thing I know I'm here in some other universe and I can talk and stuff! This is pretty cool and all but I'd like to get back to where I belong before my builder gets back. He'd be fairly upset if I went missing."

"Oh yeah, can one of you guys hold this stuff for me?" *gestures to the rolling pin, RC human and hairbrushes* "I don't have much use for them and I can only carry two things at a time."

"Say, what's wrong with the fiery lady? She ok?"

[alex_holt]

AURELIA

"Awwright guv, no need to get shirty, ain't that right me ol' dearie?" The demon drawls
"I don think you needs to be making trouble here if you know what I mean"

The Demon is notably increasing size and bulk - and notably his talons are getting much wider, longer and sharper while its tail is looking more like a mace.

TEAM Hostage Situation

At this point suddenly the doors of the building open up and a hostagd walks out... What can be best described as a 2 dimensional abstract old lady with skin not unlike the surface of an oil painting.

"Errrerreeeeeeee the bad men, they say they'll release.everyone if you send those guys in armed" her voice quavers. "They say they just want to talk"