The Last Oddetsey

[alex_holt]

NOTE: I will wait for a little while before fighting the Retrobot to allow tactics.

PLAYZOOKI

"There is nothing left, the food replicator is gone too!" The chef robot exclaims.

Playzooki can't see how it would have got in in the first place, but there is a trail of crumbs leading out of the door into the next room...

AURELIA

"Greetings, we are accepting ad space purchase at this time - what would you like to advertise?"

[majinb]

"I would like to advertise THIS!

"Recently, a group of fearless heroes banded together to avert a rift crisis of incomprehensible magnitude. These men and women have developed close ties with other rift specialist, as well as with the Church of Vengeance. Today, the world still needs heroes, and we put ourselves forwards as heroes for hire. If you have a problem... if no one else can help... and if you can find them... maybe you can hire... The Spanish Insquisition.

[insert contact details of my communicator and the castle here]

We accept novelty items for our payment.""

[playzooki]

playzooki follows the trail of crumbs.

[shadowflare]

Marisa packs as much mushroom powder as she can into the hakkero, hops on her broom, flies out the window, and prepares to let loose the mother of all lazors at that things face/eyes/sensors/what have you.

[kodster]

(OOC: I'm gonna speed up my Explosion Inducement and try to explode whatever power source this thing has. Failing that, just run rings around it and cause the huge heat waves to melt it. Can't risk using the fireflies since we're in a public place.)

[alex_holt]

AURELIA

After waiting a while, Aurelia returns to the castle to find a crowd gathered on the ground beneath the castle, ready to join her Crusade against whatever it is she is crusading against. This edition hasn't been out for long, but clearly the group that has gathered here are the ones who believe most of all in your cause!

There are about 30 in all, mainly humanoid and on a human scale, but a few particular individuals stand out:
Shandra Wolf - A 24ft tall giant woman wearing red leather who looks like she has walked out of a blaxploitation film. She has a scaled up sawn off shotgun.
Voxel - A crude artificial human somehow created digitally and looking like a PS1 standard model.
A Trio of Vlobleths - Aliens who once made a very poor attempt to invade earth. Because of their lack of eyes, they didn't realise that a blob of green slime in the shape of a human isn't a good disguise.
Mr Rayner The world's greatest master of the piccolo.

Also there are a few individuals who have come to hire you out!

- A Efreet who believes that she is being followed by shadows.
- A talking Donkey, who has had some rare and dangerous books stolen from his library.
- A hamster who has lost his diamonds.

PLAYZOOKI

Following the trail of crumbs throughout the castle, it eventually leads to a door that has been pulled to. Nibbling can be heard on the other side.

[alex_holt]

HOSTAGE TEAM

The huge robot stomps towards them and the police in between the two of them retreat out of the way; clearly this sort of fight is several miles above their pay-grade.

Phantasmic Slammer is first on the attack, and tries to get under it to flip it, however, being significantly smaller than the mech, and currently significantly faster, ends up more dislocating the armoured plates of its foot and knocking it backwards slightly with the shockwave caused by its ridiculous acceleration. The giant mech fires a huge beam of crackling blue fire from its mouth and swings its colossal fist, but to the team in their current hyper accelerated state, both appear sluggish gradual attacks easily which are easily walked past, let alone run past.

Twitch and Epsilon take up the front line - the hyper accelerates blades of the Parrot's quickly find a bunch of exposed cables near the right armpit and sever them, sending the arm below it into spasm. Epsilon doesn't seem to have any specific tactics, and begins to punch the machine at supersonic speeds, slowly buckling the shin-plate until it bursts off exposing the wiring beneath and then just continues punching - the much mechanical man begins to have alarms going off to signify system failures...

The fire beam of it's breath find Vengeance, but wash over his explosion proof shield - a dome around him of crackling blue energy where the fire touches it, while Vengeance himself is utterly unfazed - firing off bolts from his cane that pierces straight through the robot, though are so fine that they seem to cause negligible damage to the huge mass of the machine. Marisa circles the creatures head, causing a continuous sonic boom at the speed she is travelling, while her energy blasts utterly shred the eyes sending showers of glass to sprinkle down over the city below.

However, it is Eudial who finishes this fight... as she induces the explosion of the power core embedded in the mechs chest, in what would normally take a while to manipulate a core of this size, the acceleration of the whole process seems almost instantaneous to the outside world - the mighty swirling vortex of energy detonates, leaving a circular hole right through the robots chest and the machine crumples to the ground and the lights go dead.

As the team approach the robot's form on the ground, a panel slides open and the body of the Death of VHS is ejected from a slot - it looks like it has been added in specifically so he can take control.

[majinb]

After waiting a while, Aurelia returns to the castle to find a crowd gathered on the ground beneath the castle, ready to join her Crusade against whatever it is she is crusading against. This edition hasn't been out for long, but clearly the group that has gathered here are the ones who believe most of all in your cause!

There are about 30 in all, mainly humanoid and on a human scale, but a few particular individuals stand out:
Shandra Wolf - A 24ft tall giant woman wearing red leather who looks like she has walked out of a blaxploitation film. She has a scaled up sawn off shotgun.
Voxel - A crude artificial human somehow created digitally and looking like a PS1 standard model.
A Trio of Vlobleths - Aliens who once made a very poor attempt to invade earth. Because of their lack of eyes, they didn't realise that a blob of green slime in the shape of a human isn't a good disguise.
Mr Rayner The world's greatest master of the piccolo.

"Greetings true believers! Thank you all for coming in such great numbers. Every single one of you shall be called upon when the magnitude of the the threat calls for it. For now, however, there are 6 individuals that stand out of whom I want to know what they are capable of. They are the 24ft tall giant woman, the crude artificial human, the 3 aliens and the flutist!

George! Could you be so kind to prepare 3 defensive automatons that this castle has? Set them on non lethal, of course. I would like to know how our team of 6 outstanding individuals will fair against them.

Conesnatcher, Wentworth, Imogen and Gold, I set upon you the task to observe this battle, but not intervene! I want you to report back to me how these individuals did, both as individual warriors, as well as as a team. You shall be my eyes, whilst I attend to these people here, who are not here to help us, but because they need help! They should not be looked down upon, they should be respected and helped!"

Also there are a few individuals who have come to hire you out!

- A Efreet who believes that she is being followed by shadows.
- A talking Donkey, who has had some rare and dangerous books stolen from his library.
- A hamster who has lost his diamonds.

"Talking Donkey, I have taken a keen interest in your situation. Please tell me all I need to know."

[kodster]

As the team approach the robot's form on the ground, a panel slides open and the body of the Death of VHS is ejected from a slot - it looks like it has been added in specifically so he can take control.

Eudial growled. She drew out the silver Lance... just to make sure. Her strength was still overall weak, but since she was still under the effects of the flash bomb...

STAB.

She cleaved through the rift armour and impaled the enemy through the chest.

No reaction.

So he really was dead.

"Bastard," growled the Witch. She socked the prone form in the face with her fist, then turned to the others. "Well... that's that. I suppose we should head back to the castle now."

[NWOWWE]

As they approached the house where the company's accountant lived it occurred to Gaunt that the tablet hadn't really specified much personal information about the accountant. Not what species he was (although with all the rather bizarre forms he had encountered so far maybe that didn't actually matter), nor did it mention what he was like temperamentally. In fact (he looked over the dossier again) Gaunt wasn't even sure this accountant was a he! Well then! As much as Gaunt didn't like going into something with minimal information, he knew that if he couldn't handle this then the whole business was hopeless and he might as well just give it up. So he placed the tablet back into his pocket and walked up to the door with Cleo following and knocked on the door.

[NFX]

As the robot crumpled to the ground, the macaw zipped away to a slightly higher vantage point, and watched as the mechanoid collapsed with a resounding crash. Twitch was, at this point, still giving off a faint buzzing sound as his wings flapped as fast as a hummingbird's normally might. Wings which had proven themselves to be pretty damn effective in that battle, he thought.

"What sort of stuff do you reckon he has?" the parrot asked Eudial, appearing almost immediately a few inches from her face. Before waiting for an answer, though, he started shooting around from point to point near the decidedly dead Death of VCR. He couldn't help noticing, however, that his buzzing was growing both quieter and lower, the blur of his wings appearing to slow. The Flash Bomb must have been starting to wear off for him. Still in the air for now, he started examining the decidedly dead Death of VCR, pecking and clawing at it a little, trying to see what he could find...

[kodster]

"What sort of stuff do you reckon he has?" the parrot asked Eudial, appearing almost immediately a few inches from her face.

The Witch screeched and jumped back a bit. "Quit DOING that!!!" Eudial yelled. "I'm not in the mood for this kind of -"

Before waiting for an answer, though, he started shooting around from point to point near the decidedly dead Death of VCR.

"- crap." Eudial let out a snarl of frustration. If she didn't know any better, it was almost as if the stupid bird was intentionally trying to be a bother. She'd roast him alive for that. ...but then again, it was Twitch who had activated the speed-up, and allowed them all to defeat the robot... ironically, now he was moving too quickly to actually catch anything said to him, including anything of gratitude. "Whatever." Eudial sighed.

[alex_holt]

On looting the VHS and Robot, the team find the following:

The Armour of the Death of VHS
Made of some sort of high tech black plastic, the armour would fit a humanoid. The armour is tough enough to withstand low power firearms and conventional average melee weapons. The fast forward and rewind functions seem to be broken, but it seems capable of a 1 second pause still.

Loads of Mechanical Components from the Robot
Lots of them, they are fairly advanced stuff, but Twitch and Eudial don't recognize any specific components beyond things like "wires" or "pistons".

[NFX]

Now back to normal speed, Twitch had figured the Armour would be better used on someone human-shaped, so he decided to leave that be for now. Inside the robot, on the other hand, were all manner of gizmos, doodads and whatsits, which the macaw could neither understand or figure out a use for. They definitely looked pretty complicated, and they might prove very useful if applied correctly, but first the group needed to figure out what they had on their hands.

Poking his head out of the gaping hole in the torso of the mechanical carcass, Twitch looked around the group from one member to the next, until he spotted the one he thought might be able to help them. "Epsy!"

[kodster]

Eudial takes the armour, knowing her overall durability is questionable at best.