Wars Incarnate II: The Weird Effect

[steven_mcg]

Wars Incarnate II: The Weird Effect

TICTACS:
RANDOM DALEK - Simply try to blast him with the Exterminator arm and see if we cant set Bigfoots fur alight. One good thing about this draw is that we cant exactly outrun each other, neither exactly being Kelly Holmes on the Runometer
DR ROBOTNIK - Make good use of those HydroBombs from the second Zone of Sonic 3 and put Spyros fire out permanantly
THOMAS - run over that pesky Red Ranger and let Tom reclaim his throne. If the other Rangers are roped in, Ill bring all my Sodor friends along to the party too
DICK & MUTTLEY - Get Muttley to scoop up the teabag and let Dick offer it to the House Fighters. If they refuse, Muttleyll bite em while Dick throws it down their throat
PROFESSOR V - set the cane to Sledgehammer Mode, mash up the beans and add them to my coffee after the fight
TAILS - providing the chocolate isnt harmful, devour it. With Mr Prowers technological nature, he should be able to detect any nasty substances within beforehand. Also, if the House Fighters get involved, put on the Cute Act before booting them around and flying off

[scott]

Wars Incarnate II: The Weird Effect

Tactics: Glesgae Ned- Well, my ned usually has lots of sharp pointy things, which are Draculas weakness. Hell get these into play by dazzling Drac with his gold, then stabbing him. If he misses, hell take out his bottle of Buckfast to help improve his aim, then hell KO Dracula and try to steal a house robot.

Electric Guitar: Move the strings as fast as I can, to make a loud noise, then electricute Ceri.

Funky Junkie: Moonwalk and smoke some dope. Then try to remember why he was in the arena. Life is gooood.

100% Artificial Insincere Hypocritical Guarantee: Promise not to hurt him, and tell him that if he doesnt hurt me then we can go for a drink. Then go back on my word and kill him.

The Holy Bible: Consult God, and ask him for guidance. He is good, and He will decide if the battle should go ahead.

The Intense Humming of Evil: Evil will possess sugar cube and tell it to jump off a cliff.

[psychostorm]

Wars Incarnate II: The Weird Effect

LOL. Nice Python-esque use of the dragonzord, couldnt have wrote that better myself.

Having eyed up the table, Is that the Firestorm robot or an actual firestorm? If it is the Firestorm robot, I must plee for a grudge match with Mega MORG. Go on make my day.

[dinowarrior]

Wars Incarnate II: The Weird Effect

BIGFOOT
Against a Dalek...I could try to insult it by pulling faces at my reflection. Or, I could lie flat on the ground and pretend to be dead.

However, there is only one full proof way to beat a Dalek...and that is to go down a flight of stairs.

CRASH BANDICOOT
Crash has fought many wild animals before, gangster poteroos, overgrown tigers, krazy kangaroos, even a dingo with the tail of a crocodile...but this.

Spin, like all enemies, then simply pluck and eat it.

HIPPOPOTAMUS
Bite the Linear Launcher, crush it, then throw it around. Hippos can tear Crocodiles apart.

SPYRO
If flaming doesnt work, I can switch to ice. If that fails, head bash, or flying up high then dropping him will do.

KODIAK
Kodiak will not listen at all to the rubbish he is being told, but will accept it, but come prepared for it by bringing his friends along.

HOMER SIMPSON
Depends what Ceri chooses.

[pcbore]

Wars Incarnate II: The Weird Effect

Seeing this is wars incarnate it would be an actual fire storm

[psychostorm]

Wars Incarnate II: The Weird Effect

To all unspecifieds in my name: I have no delegation which of my entrants (above) are fighting who. Id love to know also but there you are..

oh, tactics:
DRAGONZORD
Eat the Mars bar. Though this fight sounds like John Cleeses self defense class...

ff6000>SAMUS
Wear the hat out.

Thats all my tactics till I get more fighters.

[steven_mcg]

Wars Incarnate II: The Weird Effect

However, there is only one full proof way to beat a Dalek...and that is to go down a flight of stairs.

Thats why I added the jetpack.

[alex_holt]

Wars Incarnate II: The Weird Effect

Ceri: I hadnt had your entires by the time Id written the fight, Ill insert them in and post them with the next set of battles.

[kodster]

Wars Incarnate II: The Weird Effect

Predictions...

1) Pussycat (W) vs A Dog (duh, the winner is Pussycat)
2) Gothmog (w) vs Mr. Potato Head (...Gothmog won)
3) Clover (w) vs Jack the Ripper (Yay Clover! )
4) The Rock vs Dr. Octopus (W) (Doc Ock)
5) The Sun vs A Cup Of Coffee (W) (The Ugly Mug )
6) Spongebob vs Al Capone (W) (Go Mr. Capone! )
7) Morgoth vs Ruf Ruf Dougal (W) (thats terrorism to Morgoth Ruf Ruf Dougal won)
Mr. Edward Hyde vs Green Power Ranger (W) (
9) Macbeth vs An Old Radio (W) ( Oh well )
10) Tyrannosaurus Rex (W) vs Banana Hammock (???)
11) Mara Jade Skywalker (W) vs A Thunderstorm (you are too weird, but then...)
12) Sarcasm (W) vs Anthrax ()
13) A Pint of Milk (W) vs T-1000 (Macintosh??? )
14) Pikachu (W) vs The Number 8 (no comment)

15) Count Dracula vs. Glasgae Ned

Havta give to Bats here.

16) Megaman X vs. The 5th Moon of Earth

Come on 5th moon of Earth!

17) Gollum vs. The Wootinator

We thinks Gollum will win preciousss...

1 Bowser vs. Godzilla

:sad: Oh come on...:sad: thats lame. Morph into Giga Bowser and pick him up and throw him into a power plant

19) A triceratops vs. Triple H

Triceratops

20) Bigfoot v. A random Dalek

The Dalek shall win.

21) Samus Aran vs. Large Inflatable Purple cowboy hat

??? Samus...

22) Malomyotismon vs. brick wall

Malo to blast the wall into pieces.

23) Firestorm vs. (Insert extra entry from Ceri here)

Dunno yet.

24) A duck vs. Crash Bandicoot

Whaaa? Crash.

25) (Insert Entry from Ceri here) vs. Electric Guitar

Dunno yet.

26) Darth Vadar vs. A white swan

Use Twisting Influence to turn it over to my side, and thats it.

27) T-800 vs. Hexadecimal

OH CRAP! ...or not. Steal one of Franks plot holes and shove Da Terminatah down da hole.

2 Mrs. Potato Head vs. Pluto

After seeing what happened to Gothmog before Gothmog actually won, GO MRS. POTATO HEAD!!!

29) Cobra Commander vs. Funky Junkie

Use my bold sarcasm and evil words to weaken him, then drag out a CD player (all my characters except Wedginator have one), put The Scorpions (not literally; that could be my downfall ) CD in, put in earplugs that block 500 dB of sound, and turn it so loud that it kills the Junkie.

30) A hippopotamus vs. The Linear Launcher

Hippo to Zippo on Flippo.

31) Dr Ivo Robotnik vs. Spyro

Spyro! Spyro!

32) Evil Dragonzord vs. a mars bar

...come on, you can do better than that
33) The Red power ranger vs. Thomas the Tank Engine

Tom to flatten Red.

34) Dick Dastardly and Muttly vs. Teabag

Go Steve! WOOT! I liked Wacky Races.

35) (Insert Entry from Ceri here) vs. Bouncy Castle

Dunno yet.
36) Starfire vs. T-X

Starfire to melt T-X

37) Apocalypse vs. (Insert Entry from Ceri here)

Im %80 sure that whatever Ceri enters, Apocalypse will destroy it

3 Nescafe Beans vs. Prof. Vengeance

Dunno.

39) Mars vs. Ringwraith

Ridiculous. However, I dont know.

40) Seymour vs. Weginator Revilotion

Act dead, then when hes on the flipper (remember my tactics) toss him into hyperspace

41) Fryloch vs. Basket Ball

Fryloch to deflate the basketball

42) Kodiak vs. 100% Artificial Insecure Hypocritical guarantee

I dont wanna know

43) Nightmare vs. The Holy Bible

The Holy Bible, because if you destroy it, God will be on your arse.

44) Gravity vs. teapot

Gravity to crack the crackpot.

45) Miles €˜Tails€™ Prower vs. a bar of chocolate

GO STEVE AGAIN! I like Tails as well.

46) (Insert Entry from Ceri here) vs. Homer Simpson

Dunno yet.

47) A Velociraptor vs. an electrical storm

The storm.

4 Shiva vs. Hexadecimator

Again, steal one of Franks plot holes and stuff the opposition in.

49) Jaina Solo vs. A London Red Bus

The bus

50) Sticky Popcorn Cinema Floor vs.

Since theres no one to fight it then the Floor wins.

51) Kyp Durran vs. Golden Monkey

Do the monkey with me! Come on!

52) Sugar Cube vs. Intense Humming of Evil

The Humming. Its enough to drive anyone insane

Team Gore - Canadian, and damn proud of it!

[razerdave]

Wars Incarnate II: The Weird Effect

I hope youre planning a second series, because I got a good entrant for it:

Name: Omi
Weight: about 55-60kg
Shape: Dwarf sized human with bald head
Weapons: Any of the Shen-gong-Wu mystic weapons:
€ Mantis Flip Coin - Allows the person in possession of it to do jumps and flips similar to a mantis.
€ Two Ton Tunic - Turns into two tons once its name is called out. The tunic deflects anything that hits it.
€ Eye of Dashi - Eye of the great monk that defeated Wuya. The eye is able to shoot out a very powerful energy.
€ Fist of Tebigong - A metal fist that packs a punch. Also, it can shake things up quite a bit.
€ Third Arm Sash - A third arm that is worn around clothing, and extends out with a far reach useful for catching or grabbing different things.
€ Tangle Web Comb - Able to shoot out a web of hair that can trap an opponent, and can grip onto you with all its might.
€ Jet Bootsu - Once worn, this Shen-Gong-Wu allows that person to defy gravity by walking on walls and ceilings.
€ Monkey Staff - A staff that is able to possess the agility, balance, and even the appearance of a monkey.
€ Golden Tiger Claws - Transports anyone anywhere they want to go. *Currently banished at the Earths Core.
€ Changing Chopsticks - Transforms the person who has it to the size of a grain of rice.
€ Sword of the Storm - Able to create a mighty and disasterous storm.
€ Shroud of Shadows - A shroud that can turn the person who has it on invisible.
€ Helmet of Jong - A helmet that gives you eyes in the back of your head to see everything around you.
€ Ring of the 9 Dragons - Once you put on the ring, you can multiply yourself up to 9 times. Theres a disvantage, though, your maturity, potential, brains, and all that are separated too.
€ Falcons Eye - An eye that can see through solid objects.
€ Sapphire Dragon - The most dangerous Shen-Gong-Wu that is used as an absolute last resort. Covered by soot, its power is detained. But when theres no soot on it, a large sapphire dragon emerges, and turns everyone it can find into sapphire.
€ Serpents Tail - Can move people through solid objects.
€ Orb of Tornami - Its small mouth holds back a mighty flood.
€ Star Hanabi - Once belonging to Clays dad and known as the lone star. It is used as a weapon similar to a shuriken.
€ Lotus Twister - Gives you the ability to turn limbs into stretchable rubber (a la Mr. Fantastic from the Fantastic Four).
€ Longi Kite - Able to soar in the sky with this Shen- Gong-Wu.
€ Tongue of Saiping - Allows you to talk to animals.
€ Sun Chi Lantern - Allows the user to unite his/her chi energy with anyone.
€ Heart of Jong - Brings any inanimate object to life.
€ Reversing Mirror - A mirror that reverses the effects of another.
Strengths: Possibly no way to defeat it
Weakness: A lot of equipment

[alex_holt]

Wars Incarnate II: The Weird Effect

You mean a third series, hmm with that many attachments i could have hours of comedy fights

[alex_holt]

Wars Incarnate II: The Weird Effect

And now after this festive break we return for more ludicrous battles to death or whatever similar state applies to the object in question, for example in our next fight we have someone to whom death was only a career change so lets get started:

Dracula vs. Glasgae Ned

House fighters for today are nodachi and salamander

Not knowing who Ned is I€™m relying on my imagination here and for the purpose of this fight he is a wiry old crazy late middle aged man with sticking our hair and a wispy grey beard, he happens to on the sole piece of information I have happen have large numbers of sharp objects, which if my line of thinking resembles reality in anyway is not really suitable for a public forum so lets say he has lots and lots of knives.
Dracula reads the script and gives his Transylvanians accented chuckle while slurping a Bloody Mary, Mary doesn€™t have that much blood left in her so he finishes quite quickly and casts aside her corpse. The vampire transforms into a bat and flues up to the rafters while the crazed Ned wanders around aimlessly looking in a bewildered fashion at the gothic castle in which he finds himself. Dracula drops from the ceiling behind Ned, graceful as a cat, silent as an owl but seeing as Ned isn€™t actually focusing on anything as such he swings round and sees Dracula head on anyway. Dracula hates fighting people like this, they€™ve got no sense of style. The caped bloodsucker slams his fist into Ned€™s chest and the man smashes into a wall which he breaks through and disappears. Dracula whistles and Igor appears in a plume of smoke beside him to hand him a bottle of vintage Neanderthal blood that he€™s been saving for over 8000 years now. Igor then wipes the blood off his masters hand and disappears in another plume of smoke.
Suddenly a figure emerges forth from the whole that he€™d flown through, the impact seems to have actually knocked some sense into him and he has a flick knife in each hand, Dracula twirls around the knives and chops him in the neck rendering him unconsious with a great deal of style causing the Judges of strictly-come-murder-dancing to give him a high score and he subsequently wins the tournament, unfortunalty for him this means the press suddenly is upon him constant and relentless and the flash photography destroys his vampiric body with its bright lights and he becomes a small pile of dust.

Glasgae Ned Advances to Round 2!

Megaman X vs. The 5th Moon of Earth

House fighters for today: Darkerstar and Archangel of the Abyss

Megaman X has more gadgets that a swiss army knife, and they are all useful too, unlike a swiss army knife. He goes off in search of this fifth moon of earth ready to destroy it with his lazer type blaster thingies, he forgets exactly what his memory for upgrade names is finite. He fliues round the orbit of earth looking for this fifth moon, but to no avail he just cannot locate it, he didn€™t know there was more than 1, even his super advanced data sheets cant tell him anything. He searches and searches, goes to consult NASA but discoveres the moon is so irrelevant that they couldn€™t be bothered keeping track of it. Megaman searches through the earths magnetic area to no avail. He carries on searching, hours turn to minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days and days to years and eventually megaman drops from the sky too decrepit to fly any longer, he would have survived the fall as well if it wasn€™t for the fact that on the way down he hit his head off an unidentified object which snapped his spine which was ironically, the fifth moon of earth.

The Fifth Moon of Earth Advances to Round 2!
Gollum vs. the Wootinator

House fighters: tengu and Baldur

Born from a sickening obsession due to an ancient evil that has been in the world from time ancient, he craves that which he has lost, his precious: the Wootinator wants coffee. Gollum jumps at him but the Wootinator arm morphs into a coffee cannon and blasts into Gollum€™s chest, scalding him and staining his loincloth brown. This really annoys Gollum, although people think that his loincloth is accidentally that bad Gollum is actually president of the Archaic Looking Loincloth appreciation society of the Misty Mountains and that was a middle earth renowned specimen. His eyes see red, and charges at the Wootinator whose hand morphs into a porcelain mug which smashes across Gollum€™s face. Gollum sees that strength will not help him and he calls up his friends to help him, unfortunalty he only has one and he abides in the same body so it doesn€™t help much. The Wootinator then unveils his ultimate weapon: his other arm shifts into a set of Dolby surround sound speakers and starts playing music, but this is not any music, this is the word woot by a thousand different voices played to the most annoying tunes that the world has ever seen. Unfortunalty for the Wootinator Gollum had to listen to the god aweful song by Pippin which was in middle earth, not this world and so these are nothing compared to this agony. Gollum then remembers one vital fact about his existence, he goes and consults with the visuals effects department and he becomes a hundred foot tall dinosaur coated in steel spikes, bone spikes, wood spikes, papier-mch spikes and every other material he could think of but the Wootinator cannot be stopped so easily, Gollum is about to sit on him whet the Wootinator€™s arm extends outwards with a coffee mug on the end, then with a borad beam on is face he tips the coffee onto the animators keyboard. Gollum€™s colossal form disappears to reveal Andy Serkis in a skintight motion capture suit. He runs away embarrassed.

The Wootinator Advances to Round 2!

Now two giant reptiles fight it out, no its not an Aaron Knight vs. Andy battle.

Bowser vs. Godzilla

House fighters are Baldur and Kali

Bowser looks up to see his opponent who is approximately 1,205 times taller than he is and gulps, in addition to that he cant pull any kind of cheap destroy the animator trick cos it€™s the giant rubber suit one. Bowser looks worried then he sees his face, and his worries are dissipated.
€˜Cousin Zilla? I€™d heard you€™d moved to Japan but I€™d have never have guessed how successful you€™d become I remember when you were just a bloated throbbing irradiated egg.€™
€˜Uncle Bowser!€™ the voice booms across the main street of Tokyo knocking Bowser back with its immense power.
It€™s ages since I€™ve seen you, hows the princess abducting business?
Ah not so bad, that cursed Mario doesn€™t know when to give in, how many times has Peach told him that she doesn€™t like him, the only reason they were ever together was an arranged marriage on her part, but after discussion with her parents they decided it wasn€™t necessary.€™
€˜Ah you know how it goes, you met my girlfriend Rodan?€™
€˜I€™m afraid I haven€™t had the pleasure€™
€˜Oj I€™ll call her over to meet you, Rodan honey!€™
€˜Giant booming wing beats are heard and a slim and elegant pterodactyl lands on a nearby skyscraper, Bowser would of complemented her scale pattern if it wasn€™t for the pact that the wing beats of his nephews girlfriend had not smashed him into the wall shattering his shell and causing his vital fluids to leak across the pavements of Tokyo.
Godzilla advances to round 2!

A triceratops vs. Triple H

House fighters are Baldur and Hector

The triceraptors guns forwards and gores triple H savagely, the colossal beats withdraws its horns and the body of the wrestler drops to the ground. Triceratops begins to walk of into the sunset when the triceratops agent points out that that was a cardboard cutout for publicity and hes forgotten his contact lenses again. He puts them in and realizes his mistake and sees that the wrestler is standing posing for the press he charges but the wrestler picks up a pairs of Uzi€™s and guns the triceratops down, in manages to dodge the first few rounds but eventually the prehistoric beats falls to the floor and its eyes close. Triple H wonders where he got the uzi€™s from but his intellect is to miniscule to tell the difference between a dinosaur and a table hence the reason he wasn€™t scared at all by the charge. Suddenly though the triceratops eyes flick open, no longer is the world normal, everything is made up of code, by all improbability the triceratops IS the chosen one, born to free people from the matrix. Triple H spins round and blast the walking table with the uzis but it holds out its stump like foreleg and the bullets stop in mid air and drop to the ground. Triceratops then leaps through the air and with a series of bullet time martial arts hits triple H backwards where he is impaled upon a random cheesegrater.

Triceratops advances to round 2!

Bigfoot v. A random Dalek

House Fighters: Allanon and Odysseus

Bigfoot lumbers forwards and hits the dalek down upon its head denting it slightly, however with Steve€™s upgrades it doesn€™t do any harm to it whatsoever, however what it retaliates with certainly does to damage to the overgrown apeman, it grabs the opponents privates with its plunger and proceeds to suck. The apeman bellows in rage and bludgeons the robot more still fialign to do anything. The daleks laser, with greatly improbable attack manages to get a hit so precise that it damages the bigfoots genes causing it to mutate, within a few moments it has devolved into the lower life form known as a big brother contestant. The Dalek would scream at what abomination it has created but having no lungs it decides instead to break Dr Robotniks run of Nobel Peace prizes by shooting it through the head with its lazer.

A Random Dalek Advances to Round 2!

Samus Aaran vs. Large Inflatable Purple cowboy hat

House fighters: Archangel of the Abyss and Achilles

The intergalactic bounty hunter squares up her opponent with her scan visor, unfortunatly it turns up a blank with €˜Large Inflatable Purple cowboy hat; composition 68.9% tack 21.1% booze for inventor 10.0% vile colorings, weaknesses unknown, purpose unknown, destination unknown, idea behind it: too disgusting to repeat. She fires her dark ray at it to no effect, followed by a light ray, she realizes that this hat abides in neither light or dark realms but the realm of cheap tat, she doesn€™t know if she can face something from a realm so vile. Suddenly it unleashes its first attack and her infamous power suit is rendered made of cheap acrylic in vile shades of pink that would make Barbie puke. It they throws itself onto her head and tries to destroy her brain, but with the last ounce of strength she has she walks a few meters, by which time the extremely shoddy workmanship inherent on the plane of tack causes it to burst. Samas drops to the floor almost defeated, her most difficult fight ever is over.

Samus Aaran advances to Round 2!

Malomyotismon vs. brick wall

House fighters: Tengu and Black Panther

The digimon smashes the wall directly infrotn of it with its awesome power, it was an average red brick wall, but what Malomyotismon fails to appreciate is that all brick walls are part of the collective, they are all one and they look out for the individual members, suddenly walls slam in on all sides, its incased, every time it smashes the walls more pile up in the breach and within minutes all that shows of the digimon is a giant airtight cube of bricks through which no air can enter and the digimon gradually dies. Te brick wall collective leaves alert mode and its units return to the vital last of propping up buildings.

Brick Wall Advances to Round 2

More fights when there are some.

[steven_mcg]

Wars Incarnate II: The Weird Effect

EX-TER-MIN-ATE! EX-TER-MIN-ATE!

(Wonderfully weird stuff as ever, Alex! )

[scott]

Wars Incarnate II: The Weird Effect

http://www.bbc.co.uk/scotland/tv/che...tion.shtmlPure

[andrewj]

Wars Incarnate II: The Weird Effect

Wheres nae danger on that translator?