The Tribute To The Tim Tribute Tournament

[kodster]

The Tribute To The Tim Tribute Tournament

LMAO!!!

Seriously, Paul, Ive completely forgotten you were once a n00b. That was brilliant.

(Message edited by kodster on May 07, 200

[joey_picus]

The Tribute To The Tim Tribute Tournament

And now: Beta-Rex vs. Woodpecker vs. Spring-BOK!

ROBOTEERS, STAND BY

Booth 1: Dan Stickler
Booth 2: Liam Eliot, Chris Mason

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Spring-BOK! is the first off the mark, coming in towards Woodpecker, who turns towards its approaching opponent with the axe raised in warning. Beta-Rex comes in, bisecting the two opponents, who continue to come closer to each other, before Spring-BOK! breaks out in a charge straight for the front of Woodpecker.
Unfortunately, the cardboard covering the hole in the arena isnt very strong, and Chris mistakenly drives over it and it promptly collapses, causing Spring-BOK! to topple in to the hole beneath it and down through a deep channel into the Earths core, thus meaning Woodpecker and Beta-Rex are through almost by default.

Spring-BOK! manages to survive the journey through the molten rock and iron in the centre of the planet without a scratch, and ends up coming out of the other side of Earth at a speed greater than the terminal velocity, meaning the gravitational pull of the Earth has no effect on it as it continues outwards into the stars.
Years pass, and eventually Spring-BOK! lands on a small planet covered in dense undergrowth, in a far off star system. There, the robot lies until it is discovered by a primitive alien race, who are fascinated by the appearance of this orange being from another land. Until the end of all time, Spring-BOK! remains in a temple on this planet and is worshipped as a god, with millions of devoted followers wearing orange fur costumes, and the exalted priests conducting their duties from large car suspension springs.

CEASE

Beta-Rex and Woodpecker are through to the next round!

[joey_picus]

The Tribute To The Tim Tribute Tournament

And finally: Woody-me-do vs. Knyfe vs. Weapons Synergy

ROBOTEERS, STAND BY

Booth 1: Dave Sheppard, Paul Cuomo, Dan Stickler
Booth 2: Dan Stickler, Dan Stickler, Dan Stickler, Dan Stickler

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And the robots are off...no they arent, as it turns out nobody has put the links in on any of them. As everyone sits around wondering what happens now, a scruffy 16-year-old tournament writer enters the middle of the arena, and announces that because he cant be arsed to write a fight, and having 12 in the next round is ideal because it lets him have four three way melees, he will select the winner based on the personal preference of a girl in the third row of the audience with rather large breasts.
She is blindfolded and taken to the centre of the arena, and the writer places her on a swivel chair and spins her around several times, before asking her to point somewhere, and she points...



...



...at Woody-me-do. Dave looks relieved, Dan looks dejected, and Paul just looks at his watch.

CEASE

Woody-me-do goes through to round two!

And with that out of the way, here is the draw for round two:

Woody-me-do vs. Kracko vs. Cat With Wheels

Brown Trousers Time vs. Beta-Rex vs. Axes Of Evil

Woodpecker vs. Without You (With You was too waterlogged to continue) vs. Mega Masher 2

Twist Of Fate vs. Solstice 2.0/Xianghua II vs. Opened By Transfer

Send in your tactics, predictions, and comments please, by phone, post, fax, carrier pigeon, telepathy or smoke signals.

[kodster]

The Tribute To The Tim Tribute Tournament

Woody-me-do vs. Kracko vs. Cat With Wheels

Spin around in a fashion that summons Kirby to the arena and suck them all up for me. Failing that, kill.

Twist Of Fate vs. Solstice 2.0/Xianghua II vs. Opened By Transfer

Attack house robots that are not in this competition.

[Guest]

The Tribute To The Tim Tribute Tournament

Throw my transmitter at Danny
Then repeatedly throw peanuts at Martijn, and maybe shoot some spit-balls

[davids]

The Tribute To The Tim Tribute Tournament

I have sent you my tactics via carrier pigeon

[dinowarrior]

The Tribute To The Tim Tribute Tournament

MEGA MASHERS TACTICS
OK, Ill just give Mega Masher the controls, and let him do what he wants. Im going to find that girl from the last fight and give her a wedgie. Maybe a spanking.

[joey_picus]

The Tribute To The Tim Tribute Tournament

And so, Round One is over and Round Two has begun, with more fun! More randomness! More likelihood of Kane having to edit my posts!

First, even though its third: Woodpecker vs. Without You vs. Mega Masher 2

ROBOTEERS, STAND BY *all roboteers stand very by*

Booth 1: Chris Mason, Dan Stickler
Booth 2: Martijn Benschop

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Without You immediately begins to spin up, as Woopecker comes forward and tries to box rush its opponent, slamming into the front of Without You in a shower of sparks from the bar, but Daniel manages to get an axe hit in on one of the rear wheels of its adversary, and after a few more hits jams the blade down between the wheel and the bodywork, locking them together. Mega Masher, meanwhile, is controlling itself, and appears to be having difficulty reconciling its prerogative to cause damage with its inner spirit wishing to run free, and the result of this would seem to involve a lot of ramming into the angle grinders.

Chris hasnt noticed this, though, as his eyes are firmly fixed on a young woman in the audience, radiating a look somewhere between lust and childlike wonder. She appears to be returning his interest, and he slowly rises from his seat and approaches her through the crowd, as if he were walking on air. One cliche leads to another, and before long they are in each others arms inside an oak panelled country cottage, with a roaring fire and violin music playing. It is as if they only exist for each other, and the entire world and all of history have all built up to this one momen-

CRASH!

What was that?
Its...I dont know for sure, but...Ellen, this may not make sense to you right now, and Im sorry, but I have to go
Oh, Chris...Why? We could have been so happy together...
I know, but-

CRASH!

-its Brown Trousers Time
*giggle* Oh, Chris, youre so witty...
No, it genuinely is. Its a robot, and it has a disc-
Oh, darling, not those dastardly robots again. Cant we focus on more pressing things, like why half of our lovely house has suddenly disappeared?
*sigh* Thats the reason. Its disc spins so fast, it actually bends the space time structure that holds the universe together.
What?
It messes things up, and its caused so much damage, it-

CRASH!

-actually its effects are beginning to reach into the previous battle!
NO!

CRASH!

Chris, hold on to me!
Im trying Ellen, but...if we dont make it through...

CRASH!

...I love you...

CRASH!

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! WAAAAHHHHH!!!!

As the words left Chriss lips, he was torn from his peace and into the rend in the fabric of the world, leaving naught but memories behind.

***

-2>Meanwhile, in the arena Without You had lost a drivechain from Woodpeckers attack and had long been immobilised, but thats not important right now. We must just sit and remember what could have been...

CEASE

Woodpecker goes through to the semi finals!

(Message edited by joeychevron on May 07, 200

[davids]

The Tribute To The Tim Tribute Tournament

*fits woody-me-do with Russia-sized plot hole generator machine*

[joey_picus]

The Tribute To The Tim Tribute Tournament

Brown Trousers Time vs. Beta-Rex vs. Axes Of Evil

ROBOTEERS, STAND BY

Booth 1: Liam Eliot, Martijn Benschop
Booth 2: Danny Bailey, several voodoo priests and a lot of incense

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In an effort to protect himself from the power of Brown Trousers Time, Danny appears to have invested in voodoo rituals to protect his machine, which has lots of arcane spells written on it; Sabo Sabo Sabo Asreje ja je and Call 100-999-777 for hot action among others. Axes Of Evil drives forward erratically, following some geometrical pattern as Danny is guided by a man wearing black robes and a teapot on his head, while Beta-Rex speeds across the arena to try and prevent Martijn from spinning his disc up.
Liam crashes his robot into the weapon, and throws his controls at the Dutch roboteer, who is angered and warns Liam that he will regret doing that for the rest of his life.

He then presses the button to spin up the disc.

Within a second, all of Dannys voodoo protection has ceased to exist, thrown into the reopened rend in time created by Brown Trousers Time. Martijn cackles madly as both opposing robots and one of the arena angle grinders simply vanish in flashes of escaping light, and the effect of the weapon grows wider, as Boris Yeltsin, William Pitt The Younger, Harald Hardrada and Christopher Mason all suddenly materialise in the arena and instantly meet their deaths in the tornado that rips through the antimatter fabric of the universe.

To quote a Mr. Kody Kunz sitting in the front row of the audience who watched this fight, What the @!#%?! was that!?!

CEASE

Brown Trousers Time progresses to the semi finals!

[corsair_lightning]

The Tribute To The Tim Tribute Tournament

I plan to come back from Uranus at 999 billion mph, and smash into a robot, causing a shockwave which will destroy 1 of the 2 remaining robots.

[dinowarrior]

The Tribute To The Tim Tribute Tournament

Little does Joey know that Ive managed to re-animate myself within the body of Mega Masher 2. So, basically, Im now part human, part robot.

[joey_picus]

The Tribute To The Tim Tribute Tournament

Mark, if that happens youll hit the Earths atmosphere and burn up practically instantaneously, and any shockwave you create will be nothing compared to what Brown Trousers Time will do to you if by some miracle you survive.

Chris, that plot line leads only to bad movies. Do not go there :P

[dinowarrior]

The Tribute To The Tim Tribute Tournament

*Now covered in hardox plating with the vertical disc of MM2 sticking out where the tail bone would be*

You could have warned me BEFORE I underwent the operation.

[joey_picus]

The Tribute To The Tim Tribute Tournament

...Chris, youre still out of the tournament

*transforms himself into an anthro version of Nidhogg in case Chris retaliates*