The Returners Tournament

[joey_picus]

The Returners Tournament

The hell? That was random, as well as slightly insulting...

(and Liam, a bit sad? If only you knew...:P)

[Guest]

The Returners Tournament

Wow Mark... that was just low. Dont you know when to not mess up threads? Because I have the impression you dont.

Stop being a horrible git.

[corsair_lightning]

The Returners Tournament

I meant it as a joke. Nothing more.
Hes always kept the sadness badge.

And hes a great roboteer. :-)

[kodster]

The Returners Tournament

quote:

I meant it as a joke. Nothing more.

And why did you have to post it at random? Seems a bit awkward to be quite honest.

quote:

Hes always kept the sadness badge.

We already know that, we dont need to hear it repeated in your babble.

quote:

And hes a great roboteer. :-)

Stop with the sucking up, that doesnt help you. :P

Ive almost had it, for real. Improve, or beat it.

[joey_picus]

The Returners Tournament

Mark, why are you calling me a great roboteer when I have never built a robot?

[pcbore]

The Returners Tournament

OK, heres the thing. The main problem Ive had with this tounrnament is the current fight:

Leprosy Infection vs Tough as Nails in the last bot standing arena.

The problem Ive got is I honestly cant see a way for Tough as Nails to win, nor can I see an easily writable way for Leprosy to knock out Tough as Nails seeing as those wheels arent exactly easy to get to with Leprosys weapon.

As a result Id end up writing a marathon of a fight which would be boring to read through as it would just be Leprosy dominating while being unable to kill off TAN so easily.

So Im doing a hypothetical for THIS fight in the interest of getting this moving again. Hopefulyl no-one has a problem, especially seeing Tough as Nails was entered by Timmy.

The winner, by knockout - Leprosy Infection!

Should Last Bot Standing be drawn again in a situatiuon like this I will re-draw the arena at my discretion.

The heat D draw -

Razer vs Metal Sonic Spin Dash vs Air - Last Bot Standing

Behemoth vs 259 vs Dante - The Metalworks

[Guest]

The Returners Tournament

Hey Frank, are otherweights entries still open? I wasnt around when the tournament first opened, but if you need otherweights Id be happy to enter mine.

[alex_holt]

The Returners Tournament

Aim for the weapon drive belt on 259 to incapacitate the weapon, behemtoh is more challenging so keep to its sides.

[kodster]

The Returners Tournament

Pre-diddly-ictions:

Air to deflate.
259 to go 3...2...1...out.

[majinb]

The Returners Tournament

Air and 259 to lose by TKO

[pcbore]

The Returners Tournament

Kody I know its been a while so youve probably forgotten, but if you want to get the full points for your picks you have to chose whos gone out and how.

Fights up next post.

[pcbore]

The Returners Tournament

Melee 1

We return to Last €˜Bot Standing for an encounter between three bruising competitors. Let€™s meet them.

Described by Jonathan Pierce as part robot, part bird and part reptile, Razer surely needs no introduction. However I would describe Jonathon as part mad, part blind and part drunk. Surely a better description of Razer would be part robot, part surgeon, part serial killer.

Metal Sonic Spin Dash also needs no introduction as the Spin Dash series of robots has been going almost as long as their more famous computer game counterpart. Let€™s just hope they keep improving unlike their more famous counterpart€¦ The real weapon is the powerful drive and traction, but the pussycat style saw blade on the wedge is used to slice up the underbellies of all those unfortunate enough to end up on the wedge.

Last in is Air, who may need some introduction. If you think a flipper is at a disadvantage in this arena, think again! Air holds the record of being the only robot to flip an opponent into the roof of the Roaming Robots arena. That€™s some serious Air-time

3€¦
2€¦
1€¦..
ACTIVATE!!

MSSD is off to the fastest start, but Air and Razer are no slouches themselves. MSSD charges the side of Razer, but Razer is quickly turned around and MSSD rides up the front of Razer. Despite this, Razer is pushed backwards, but the beak descends, pushing harmlessly into the Hardox front. Air comes in for some fun now, sliding under the side of Razer, launching it and MSSD into the air.

The two are separated in flight, Razer landing heavily on its beak and toppling onto its side and MSSD bouncing a couple of times before resting on its back. Both self right, but only MSSD gets back onto its wheels as Air doesn€™t give Razer the precious second sit needs, getting under it again and propelling it skywards. Maybe it really is part bird!

As Razer thunks back down onto its wheels, MSSD comes in and attacks Air, pushing it sideways while the saw tears against Air€™s armour. Now Razer comes in, targeting Air possibly as revenged for the two massive flips it€™s just taken. Air isn€™t able to escape as the beak comes in, biting through the tip of the flipper and dragging Air away from MSSD.

Steve isn€™t about to just let Team Razer have all the fun, and instead charges Razer, putting some slashes into its side with the saw. Razer concentrates on Air though, releasing the flipper for a second, only to drive in and bite down again before Air can escape, using that infamous tactic that got them so many victories in Robot Wars.

Now MSSD backs off a little, as Razer puts another hole through Air, releases and once more bites down. Air isn€™t just taking this laying down, and starts pushing Razer backwards until it reaches the wall, where it reverses and drives forwards again, with Razer hanging on like a pitbull.

Finally, all the damage it can do done for the second, Razer once more releases Air in order to pierce another place. Air reverses though, and the beak comes down with its oil-lust unsated. Now MSSD comes in at Air again, looking to finish the damaged flipper machine off. Air spins around and gets under MSSD€™s front however, and MSSD is thrown several feet in the air and halfway across the arena!

This distraction costs Air though, as Razer uses the time to get its beak up and into the side of Air, once more biting through the Aluminium like a hot knife through butter. Or maybe like a liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti€¦ fafafafafafa.

Regardless, by the time MSSD has finished bouncing across the arena and self righted, Razer has Air in a helpless position. With the wedge properly under its victim, Razer no longer has to worry about Air escaping, and so the beak is released and inserted again with impunity. On the third incision, a huge cloud of gas escapes and the air begins to turn blue in Shane€™s control pod.

Razer switches targets and bites down again, before finally releasing Air and backing away as MSSD returns to the fray, again targeting the weakened Air, which is sluggish to turn around. This time MSSD slams right underneath Air and the sawblade does what it€™s supposed to do, tearing a long line underneath Air€™s underbelly before Air falls off the wedge onto its back. Razer is in there straight away and bites once through the underbelly before backing off again.

Amazingly, Air self rights. One of the Co2 bottles was punctured but the other is intact and it€™s still got enough oomph to self right. It turns out to be a wasted effort though as it doesn€™t get away before Razer darts in again and bites through the less damaged side. Once again, Razer reverses and Air isn€™t moving. MSSD charges in at Razer while the countdown begins on Air, managing to damage the underside of Razer a little as CEASE is called.

When Air was taken into the workshop, they found two neat holes through their motors. It€™s almost as if Team Razer knew exactly where to target€¦

The winners, via knockout - Razer and Metal Sonic Spin Dash!

Melee 2

Now we head to the Metalworks. Fighting in this arena today are:

The only vapourbot in this fight, Dante hopes to bring all its opponents to hell with its vicious 24 KG flywheel. One look at that and even the Devil may cry. It couples that with being very hard to get hold of, with an odd shape and being constructed from bars rather than sheet metal.

259 briefly terrorised Robot Wars in series 6. It tore through its qualifying match in about 30 seconds, it shredded robots in its opening melee but was unable to knock out Wild Thing despite battering it around the arena for a good half a minute. 259 puts all its eggs in one basket with a terrifyingly huge vertical flywheel, but not much armour or drive to speak of and no srimech. However as Tira III proved earlier that might not be a problem. Will 259 be lucky numbers?

Lastly is another celebrated real robot. Behemoth has been quietly improving since series 2 of Robot Wars, and this latest incarnation has tough armour, an effective if unspectacular lifting scoop and now an axe with which it killed none other than Mr. Psycho, proving once and for all that size doesn€™t matter, it€™s where you stick it that counts.

3€¦
2€¦
1€¦..
ACTIVATE!!

259 sits on the spot for a few seconds as it spins up before hesitantly moving out, not sure who to aim for. This hesitancy costs it, as Alex knew exactly what he wanted to do, slamming into the side of 259. Dante€™s flywheel was barely up to speed, but it was dangerous enough to tear out the exposed drive belt on 259. The fight is ten seconds old, and 259 has already lost its teeth!

Behemoth reaches the fight now, pushing Dante and flipping it over. Dante self rights, but Behemoth is in a controlling position, pushing Dante against the wall and flips it again, propping it against the wall where it slides off. Incidentally, 259 has retreated to the far side of the arena and is keeping well out of things.

Behemoth gets under Dante€™s rear, and the axe comes down. Now the scoop rises, and Dante is picked up. Behemoth drives around in a circle for a little while as the self righting bars raise on Dante in an ineffectual effort to escape. Now Dante is taken over to one of the killsaw banks and is unceremoniously dumped on them.

While Dante is flipped senseless by the killsaws, Behemoth chases 259 down. 259 tries to escape, but Behemoth easily catches up, getting under the rear and lifting it up with the scoop. 259 isn€™t flipped, but is tipped dangerously forwards. Behemoth drives forwards, turns and 259 is toppled onto its side and out!

As the countdown begins, Behemoth turns its attentions back to Dante, who is trailing rubber from one of its wheels. Dante€™s flywheel smashes into Behemoth€™s scoop, but it€™s Dante who is flicked up as the scoop rises. Once more Dante is axed and scooped and just as CEASE is called, Dante is dropped into the pit. Team Behemoth have made their point.

The winners, via knockout - Behemoth and Dante!

[pcbore]

The Returners Tournament

The next round draw:

Razer vs Dante - The Moat
Behemoth vs Metal Sonic Spin Dash - The Metalworks

[alex_holt]

The Returners Tournament

Hmmm.... interesting fight here.... in theory I wont be easy for him because I dont have really many panels to bust, but he can of course go after the wheels.... Ill try and keep to the sides and get hits in on the aluminium.

[kodster]

The Returners Tournament

Predictions:

Razer to win, Dante to get thrown into the Moat.
MSSD to win, Behemoth to get KOd.