Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Be warned; next fight is not for the faint of heart...

The Grim Reaper vs. Solaria Crystalwing & Nightwing

House fighters are Big Mac & Cortez.

Grim cackles menacingly, and waits for the opponents move. Nightwing is the first to make a move; within a split-second large quantites of fur, claws, and teeth propel themselves towards the slightly comical hooded figure, but Grim is unmoved by this. He pulls a Gandalf...out of the ground. Weird. Gandalf shouts at Grim and gets out his staff; Nightwing stays stock still as Grim turns upon Gandalf and his scythe blade glows as it collides with the tip of Gandalfs staff. Solaria is able to shield herself in time, however Nightwing is too close and is caught in the inter-galactic blast, and disintegrates. Solaria screams in rage and makes a beeline for Grims head. However the blast did much more than that...suddenly a plothole opens, and hundreds of spaceships that look exactly like the ones from Invader Zim zoom through the arena blasting everything in sight. Solaria is stopped short and again shields herself again, but the beams hit Grim and bounce off him. It must be an invulnerability, and Grim makes the most of it. Tossing Gandalf away, Grim begins making elequent movements that look impossible for his posture, and Solaria barely dodges them, however little does Solaria know that behind her is the house fighter Cortez, who grabs her and chomps her in half before she can even cry out in terror. Gandalf attempts to charge down Grim but unfortunately a blast from one of the ships catches him and is burnt to a crisp. Invader Zim laughs before throwing a hole bunch of Teletubbies dolls into the air, which are destroyed in the ensuing chaos.

The Grim Reaper advances to Round 3!

And oh yeah, I gotta make the arena battle-proof...=P

[Guest]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Awesome fights, man. Cant wait until the new ones come out.

o.o
Tin Foil Pwns You

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Diotoir vs. Zinedine Zidane

House fighters are Taki & The Sickness.

Diotoir charges forward with the flipper, and Zinedine Zidane lets fly with his left foot. Unfortunately underneath all that fur Diotoir is 100% cold metal, and so Zidane recoils with a howl of pain. Diotoir drives forward right into Zidanes other foot and knocks him to the ground. Even less fortunately for Zidane, the arena is now coated with a thick layer of adamantium, so Zidanes head meets the armour with a great BANG. However as we all know Zidanes head is his hardest feature, and the skull and brain take little to no damage from the impact. Zidane gets back up in time to be knocked down again from another charge from the speckled killer. Zidane growls at him. Dont make me angry, you wouldnt me when Im angry, he says, and suddenly the French uniform bursts away as Zidane becomes a huge, muscular green figure with an uncontrolable temper. Diotoir backs away and bumps into Taki behind him. The ninjas eyes narrow but just as shes about to slit open the comedy bot who defeated Tornado, Zidane-Hulk at the same time meets The Sickness. The cloud of illness envelops Zidane, bombarding him with massive amounts of radiation. The monster is unable to absorb the huge dose of isotopes and explodes in a shower of green slime, bringing this rather horrific battle to an end.

Diotoir advances to Round 3!

----

St. Lucifer vs. Kiki

House fighter is the Watcher.

Lucifer grabs Kiki immediately and, instead of incinerating the ferret in a blast of hellfire, simply looks at her. Such a cute, harmless thing...nothing it can do against the all-powerful anti-christ, no? Lucifer, however, knows about random occurrences that try and destroy him, and decides to travel in time. Hamlet, in the audience, shakes his fist at Lucifer but too late; hes gone. Lucifer goes back to the days where the comic featuring Kiki, Bun-Bun, and Riff was made, and slashes the cartoonists hand off so that he cant draw anymore, forcing the comic to cease production and so it is as if Kiki, Bun-Bun, and Riff never existed. Lucifer goes back to the future, and finds himself looking up at a huge Persian cat. Its Pussycat, and he seems to have been given some growth hormones. Of course...with those entries out of the way, Frank had to enter 3 wimpy ones, and so decided to increase the cats power. Lucifer stands in awe, but finally comes back to the reality that hes the anti-christ. Pussycat pounces but Lucifer obliterates the cat with a great tide of molten lava that came up out of nowhere.

Everybody calls in upon Kody to fix the mess, and he rights what Lucifer wronged, but since Lucifer won his fight, Kiki automatically loses. Kiki sticks her tongue out at the decision.

St. Lucifer advances to Round 3!

----

Cheese monster vs. Google

House fighters are Hamlet & Tira.

Though Chastity Dingle was slain, Google lives on because they hired a new owner. Unfortuantely it was Fred Flintstone, who has absolutely no idea of how search engines work. The cheese monster glides towards the prehistoric man but the executives arrive and help Fred. They tell the cheese monster to look himself up on their engine. The monster agrees to this. He searches cheese monster under Images, and the first picture that comes up is of a really dorky teenager with severe acne problems. The cheese monster is horrified, but even more so when suddenly he begins to turn into that image. The executives are really glad they put that picture of Screech Powers from Saved By The Bell up there, and now Fred charges forward, tackles the dork, and strangles him. All other monsters made of diary products immediately stop reading and go hurl in a toilet.

Google advances to Round 3!

[steven_mcg]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

A.T.T.T.W.I.
ROUND 2
Black Mage VS THE MAD HATTER

Black Mage wears a hat. Advantage: Tetch.
The plan here will be to deftly dodge any spells flung our way and to plant a mind-control card onto the Black Mages headgear. If it is able to overpower him, have him finish himself off with his own magic. If not, whip out a pistol from under my own hat or go Oddjob on his ass. :wink:

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

The Mad Hatter vs. Black Mage

House fighters are Cortez & Asterix.

Hatter giggles insanely; since his previous fight with Mike Tyson hes feeling pretty confident. He performs a series of jumping jacks to once again entertain the audience. One guy is about to throw a tomato but Hatter pulls out a pistol from his hat and points it at him with a menacing expression. The random idiot falls silent at once, and Hatter turns around to face the Black Mage who has just arrived from a fancy black limo. Hatter wonders at this as last time an opponent came out of a limo he beat him. However Black Mage isnt that stupid, and once Cortez tosses the limo away the match begins. Hatter charges at Black Mage in a kind of prance. Black Mage is stricken dumb at this but comes to his senses and tears the mind-control card apart. The audience gasps, and then quite suddenly there is a roar of voices. Black Mage stares behind Hatter, and with a gasp of horror realizes that there are hundreds of people of all ages storming into the arena with murderous looks on their faces. It seems that the Mad Hatter has built up quite the fan base in Scotland. Anyway the fans pile themselves upon Black Mage, fighting recklessly. Perhaps Hatter didnt know, but some of his fans were just too lazy to remove their arses from their seats, and are hurling items into the arena. A particularly large pineapple travels through the air and accidentally wallops Hatter in the back of the head, who jars and falls flat on his face. All the Mad Hatter fans turn to stare at the culprit, who shrugs nervously. Before anybody can react to this, Black Mage disappears in a dark thunderbolt, smiting two of the fans and turning them to ash.

Black Mage advances to Round 3!

----

A Wiimote vs. XS3

House fighters are Taki & Ancalagon.

The Wiimote is incapable of self-motivation and since Mario is now destroyed by Lucifer who avenged the Dark Magician, Taki goes forward and uses it. Unfortunately the ninja has absolutely no idea how to work this type of controller. Ancalagon takes out some tiny little spectacles and a manual and looks through it while XS3 yawns
and blasts a random audience member with an energy blast; luckily its a villain, Psycrow from Earthworm Jim, who gets the gist and high-tails it outta there immediately. Ancalagon takes the Wiimote from Taki and works the controls. Nothing happens. Ancalagon is albeit confused by this. XS3, finally tired of this boredom, leaps forward and tackles the mighty beast in the stomach, however Ancalagons deadly scales reflect the charge and XS3 is thrown back in pain. Ancalagon barely notices the attack and is still trying to work the stupid controller. Then he realizes that XS3 is not a Nintendo character, but an alter-ego of one of the entrants, so the Wiimote wont work on him, but since the Wiimote is being powered, the controller must be controlling something. Ancalagon in rage and frustration smashes the Wiimote to the ground and fights with XS3, finally overcoming him and knocking him out. However the Wiimote has lost the fight. There is a horrible scream in the audience at the smashing of the accessory. Taki instantly locates the source, as a smushed Luigi plops down in his seat.

XS3 advances to Round 3!

----

Full Metal Alchemist vs. A hippopotamus

House fighters are Big Mac & The Sickness.

The Alchemist grins to himself as he brews up a plan, but he doesnt have much time to think of one as the great bulk of the mammal cascades towards him. The boy leaps up and avoids the charge but the hippo comes around for another assault. The Alchemist stands there and waits. He says a few words, but is too slow to avoid the hippo this time and is trampled by the immense weight of the hippo. However the Alchemist just fused himself with Mr. Fantastic from the Fantastic Four and now has stretchy powers, meaning that the charge barely fazed his stretchy molecules. However, the hippo is still the threat as it is one of the strongest beasts on the face of the earth. But the Alchemist merely rises up and glares coldly at the hippo. The hippo bellows defeaningly and charges again, its feet pounding the adamantium floor as it does so. The Alchemist realizes what he has to do and so stretches and mutates himself into a ramp at one end of the arena. The hippo meets the ramp but its feet catch the ramps wedgy bottom first. Therefore the hippos charge carries it too far as it propels itself over the ramp and over the edge with a terrible cry. All seems lost when suddenly the hippo pulls out a can of Red Bull and drains it. A pair of giant wings extrude just as suddenly out of hippos back, but unfortunately the wings are not enough to support the gigantic bulk of the beast and so the mammal plummets into the dark abyss below.

Full Metal Alchemist advances to Round 3!

[steven_mcg]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Curses. Foiled again.

A.T.T.T.W.I.
ROUND 2
Blod VS DR IVO ROBOTNIK

Gods older but far less accomplished brother, eh? Well, Ivo Robotnik has played God a few times in his life, so at least he wont be ionised within the first few seconds. I hope.
As for a battle plan, Doc Botnik will try bamboozling Blod with science and reason. If that dont work, however, hell hop into a brand new Eggsterminator mech suit and launch a full assault with every available Badnik and boss bot available. With any luck, Ivo can scrape through. After all, there must be a reason Blod doesnt get as much fanmail as his big bro. :wink:

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Dr. Ivo Robotnik vs. Blod

House fighters are Obelix & Exa-Gore-Ic.

Two mighty opponents confront each other in the arena immediately. Robotnik knows he cant reason with Gods brother, because he perceives the machine lords darkness and evil emotions. Its Robotnik who makes the first move, summoning an army of Swatbots who launch laser beams at Blod. Blod disappears in a flash; namely, a flash that incinerates most of the Swatbots and kindles the end of Robotniks moustache. Robotnik screams and runs around in circles in insanity, trying to put the fire out. Finally he stops, drops, and rolls around; unfortunately this causes the kindled end of his moustache to stick into his eye, burning it. He howls in pain and flails around. Blod laughs at a pitiful sight to see, but drifts into the air all the same and fends off the remaining Swatbots. Robotnik is finally able to put the flames out and stands up with a slightly burnt eye and half his moustache gone. Blod finishes off Robotniks army and rushes forward to vanquish the robo-commander. Robotnik dons his mech-suit in a split-second and plants a mechanical fist in Blods face before the underacheiver knows whats happening. Blod reels, but regains his stance. He calls down a blizzard and pelts Robotnik with the white stuff. Robotnik activates his heat ray and melts the snow all off. Blod wastes no time after that. He calls down a thousand thunderbolts which strike the mech-suit, but Robotnik has an ace up his sleeve. An antenna appears at the top of the mech-suit, and the thunderbolts hit the suit and pass through him without harm. Blod is in fetters, now, he has no idea how to stop that thing. Then he does something that he vowed he would never do ever again, the one thing that earned him less popularity than his brother.
All of a sudden, the ground shakes, and the ten plagues of Egypt are loosed. Frogs, locusts, flies, beetles, lice, and a hail of fire whirl through the arena. People in the audience break out with unhealable boils, including a little dancing Komodo dragon. They later die of malaria thanks to the fifth plague. Robotnik himself is hit with a cascade of water turned to blood, and staggers over. The mech-suit is taking heavy damage and screens open all around Robotnik with messages such as WARNING! DANGER! ARE YOU CRAZY?! SAVE YOURSELF, MAN! But before he can do that, a great darkness covers everything and everyone. No one even realizes that as the mech-suit finally gives way, a bright yellow beam is emanated and it hits Blod right in the face. Blod is unable to gasp as his exterior and interior became metallic and his prone form is transmutated to a robotic figure. Thankfully the tenth plague is not carried out, as God himself descends upon the arena and drives the darkness away. He shakes his head slowly at the mess Blod has become, and with a glow of his eyes, Blod crumbles into spare parts and broken machinery. Robotnik, grievously wounded, actually manages to smirk as he has won this fight. One of the parts found in Blods carcass is Overkills giant knife. Strange.

Dr. Ivo Robotnik advances to Round 3!

----

Seong Mi-Na the Phoenix vs. Major Tom

House fighter is the Watcher.

Seong Mi-Na glares at the opponent. Major Tom is wearing an unusual assortment of clothing today: a pink-and-green-striped top hat, a blue leather vest, a pair of plum velvet trainers, and black socks with white boots. Also, he seems to be grimacing in a manic sort of way. Mi-Na isnt phased by this, but for now shes fighting without her phoenix form, and slashes Major Toms head with Scarlet Thunder. Tom ducks and the top hat gets swept off and into the audience. Bex grabs it and is mauled by other fans of the colour pink and Major Tom who want the hat. Anyway Mi-Na laughs at Tom who finds himself bald, of course, after trying to rid his hair of that annoying mouse this morning before breakfast, and shaving his head out of irritation. Tom suddenly pulls out a giant bottle of Hair Growth and applies the whole contents of the bottle to his head. The audience is appalled, but even more so when even more suddenly, great strands of hair explode out of Toms cranium and cover the arena, and seem to move around by themselves. They immediately bind Mi-Na and slam her around the arena. The Watcher tries to cry out but its muffled by all the hair. The audience is about to run away when suddenly Mi-Nas eyes first glow bright crimson, a deep orange, and finally a fiery yellow before her body explodes with flames into her Phoenix form. The flames that surround her obliterate the hair strands binding her, and travel all the way to Toms head, burning it. Tom yells in pain, and all the other strands disappear. The Watcher is finally able to let out his cry, and the house fighters pounce on the limp figure that is Major Tom and tear him apart. Refbot suddenly enters the arena and sprays Mi-Na with the fire extinguisher, resulting in him getting leveled by Cortezs fist.

Seong Mi-Na advances to Round 3!

----

Chuck Norris vs. A ninja

House fighters are The Sickness & Obelix.

A mere ninja versus the best of the best? Chuck Norris snickers at the lousy line-up. The ninja sprints away towards the spot where Chuck Norris was, as now he realizes Norris isnt there, but just above him, and then both feet of Norris connect with the ninjass skull, shattering it. Norris lands lightly and bows to the audience, who are amazed at the quickness of the fatality, but then they stand up with evident alarm. Norris turns to what should have been an inanimate person behind him, lying on the ground. Its no longer on the ground, but is floating in the air sinisterly. However, it suddenly turns into a paper clip. Then it turns into the letter W. Then a duck. A beaver...a notepad...the planet Mars...Norris is getting confused, and the audience is getting bored, but then the thing reveals its true form...a ninja? Fortunately, its still lying on the ground. Obelix shoves it off the platform and it is consumed by wormholes. Somebody throws a pie of doom at Obelix and runs away, laughing maniacally.

Chuck Norris advances to Round 3!

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Master Hand vs. Monoxide

House fighters are Tira & Exa-Gore-Ic.

The boss of Super Smash Bros. Melee and the Psychopathic Records rapper get set to battle. Master Hand is about to smush Monoxide when he gives the peace symbol with his own hand. Master Hand stops and hovers for a second. Everybody is staggered when Master Hand gives the peace sign back. Lets settle this in a game of rock, paper, scissors. Best 2 out of 3, says Monoxide. Master Hand agrees to this and they get ready to duel.

Rock, paper, scissors.

Master Hand: Scissors
Monoxide: Rock
Monoxide wins the first duel.

Rock, paper, scissors.

Master Hand: Scissors
Monoxide: Paper
Master Hand wins the second duel.

Rock, paper, scissors.

Both fighters have the rock symbol. The match is tied. However, Master Hand decides to really put an end to the match and, still in rock mode, rams Monoxide off the platform. Exa-Gore-Ic randomly implodes somebody while waiting for the next match to begin.

Master Hand advances to Round 3!

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

This battle is purely gaming. No randomness intended. Some may appear... =P

Link vs. Samus Aran

No house fighters.

Think back to the days of Super Samsh Bros. Melee. We have Link. We have Samus. We have the Final Destination arena. What does that mean?
MELEE!!!
Both have one life, and 0% damage at the moment.
Ready...GO!
Link and Samus collide literally, causing 5% to them. Link fires an arrow that Samus dodges, and Samus grapples Link and smashes him into the ground, adding 12 to the %. Link dives away and hurls a bomb at Samus, but Samus catches it and throws it back. Link tosses his boomerang at the bomb and it explodes in a cloud of smoke. Immediately following the ball of vapour there is a collective Ooh from the crowd. Samus bursts through the smoke and takes Link by surprise, and by the grappling beam again, smashing him down into the ground and Samus kicks him away. Links damage percentage is at 38% right now, 33 more than Samus, and he needs to think of a plan. Samus fires a missile at the Hylian hero, who dodges it, and Samus charges with a dash attack. Link sidesteps this too and deals two heavy sword strokes, causing heavy (25%) damage to Samus and forcing her away. Not at all keen to let her recover Link fires another arrow. Samus is unfortunately caught by it and stumbles. Link grabs another bomb and throws it at Samus while bravely running at her. Samus gets the blast full in the head and Link is able to deal more damage with the Master Sword. Samus goes flying a little but lands on her feet and stares down Link. The two continue to glare at each other before Samus begins to charge up a shot. Link fires another arrow causing Samus to duck out of the way, leaving Link with a perfect opportunity. He jumps into the air and comes down on Samus hard with the Master Sword. Samus is blasted into the air, but comes and swats Link down into the ground, and combos him into the air with an upward kick. Just as he comes down, he is caught by another missile which blows him across the arena and just to the edge. They engage in another stare-down before both Link and Samus fire projectiles simultaneously. Links arrow meets Samus missile with an explosion, from which Samus emerges again, and she tackles Link off the platform. Link swings his grappling hook and catches the edge, pulling himself up and back onto the platform. While still in the air, he plants his feet against the thunderstruck Samus head and forces her towards the edge, but Samus grabs the edge and makes it back as well. Link starts throwing bombs at Samus again, and Samus leaps over them and at Link with her metallic arm piece, smashing his head and sending him far back. The percentages now stand at 125% for Link and 117% for Samus. Link double-jumps back to the platform, just in time to see, with evident alarm, that Samus has fully charged a shot. He throws his boomerang at Samus, who rolls forwards to avoid it and snags Link with her grappling beam again. This time she throws him forwards off the platform, and before Link can start to recover, Samus excretes a HUGE energy shot from her arm-cannon, which slams into Link and carries him far away, and dropping him to the depths below.

This games winner is...SAMUS! And oh yeah, she advances to Round 3!

[steven_mcg]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

A.T.T.T.W.I.
ROUND 2
Ming Higurashi VS THE CYBERMAN ARMY

Dog demon/human, eh? I smell a fighter in the Inuyasha mold. Not that it matters, really. Neither Britain nor Mondas have the show. :wink:
So, then; tactics. Again, I have strength in numbers but since Mings a better fighter than Mr Hoffman from the last round, I think its time to call in the Cybermats for help (Revenge of the Cybermen version, methinks). These Cybermats are snake-like cyborgs with segmented bodies who can inject poison into their victims. While Ming is distracted hacking up the Cybermen, the Cybermats will sneak up on her and wrap themselves around her like boa constrictors. Once suitably bound, have the Cybermen cart her off for conversion.
If things look bleak, start converting the audience again to boost numbers. Im surprised you can still sell tickets to this thing, Kody.

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Youd be surprised at the threats that my house fighters give, Steve.

Next fights up some time tomorrow.

[swiss_tony]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

HUZZAH! Zelda is amongst my most hated things ever!

[alex_holt]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

(Utterly random interjection)

Surely theres some more significant things you could hate? Like war or world poverty or something? Why bother hating it? lol Its not like anyones been forcing you to play it, lol.

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Actually, I like both of them equally. But there could only be one winner.

[inuangel2007]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Well, well, it seems Ming might actualy have some competition this time.... NOT. She is quite skillful when it comes to dealing with things that are nto even alive!!
Besides, she has the power to use electrical attacks and can easily fry their circuts before they take two steps.
might wanna re-think your moves there Steve.

[steven_mcg]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Ahh, but Cybermen can use electrical attacks too, mdear. All they need to do is touch a person with one hand and theyre barbecue chicken. And good luck sustaining enough energy to wipe out three billion or so of the metal buggers. :wink: