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Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI
ABK vs. Arael
House fighters are Ancalagon and Exa-Gore-Ic.
Before the fight, we see ABK and Arael alking in a locker room. They nod to each other, and turn and walk out of a tall building in Tokyo. This is rather unusual, as fighters arent really supposed to talk to each other before a fight. Theyre supposed to randomly appear there wtih absolutely no knowledge of each other...the narrator scratches his head while reading the script. Kody grabs a flamethrower and burns the narrator to a crisp before hiring a new narrator, and we get to the fight. ABK and Arael stare at each other blankly. The audience is booing and throwing trash at them, and Ancalagon breathes fire on them, roasting them. Exa-Gore-Ic then decides to get involved in the fight, and tackles ABK. ABK explodes...into paper-mache?! Exa-Gore-Ic tackles the other one, and Arael also explodes into paper-mache and Kody glares at the new narrator and burns him to a crisp as well. Meanwhile the real ABK and Arael are bounty hunting on the planet Venom, when suddenly the giant being called Andross (from the StarFox series of games) comes out of nowhere and swallows them whole. Arael, being an Angel, survives this but ABK is unable to withstand the onset and is torn to shreds by his own mind.
Arael advances to Round 2!
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Bun-Bun vs. A squinting teacher
House fighters are Cortez and The Sickness.
The teacher fixes the ferret with its cold squint, but what the teacher doesnt know is that Bun-Bun, of course, has endured too many stares and rather inquisitve looks from on-goers nearby and so this doesnt affect it. The ferret jumps onto the teacher and tries to bite his hair off. The teacher screams and runs around in circles trying to dislodge the crazy rodent from his scalp but it is no good. Finally, after days of hopelessly jogging the French Riveria he falls to the ground dazed, and the ferret curls up in the teachers hair and goes to sleep. Cortez and The Sickness didnt care; they were too busy playing fooseball (dont ask me how a cloud of bacterium can play fooseball; he just can =P).
Bun-Bun advances to Round 2!
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Solaria Crystalwing & Nightwing vs. Ozzy Osbourne
House fighters are Taki and Tira.
The wizard of Ozz is feeling good. Hes just smoked some dope and is living the life. It should be no problem to take care of these two. Solaria blinks at the gothic metalhead at the other end of the arena, and is rather disgusted. She walks over to him and smacks him upside the head. The crowd ooooooooooh!s at that, and Ozzys head turns about 90 degrees. He sets it straight again, and slaps Solaria back, right across the back of the head. She falls down, and the crowd laughs. Nightwing goes to slaughter some of the audience but the house fighters stop him, and Nightwing instead leaps at Ozzy and tries to take his head off. Ozzy dodges this, and turns to Solaria, who immediately throws a punch right into Ozzys head. Suddenly, Ozzys world goes psychadelic, and he believes himself to be at Ozzfest. He calls for a mic, and Taki throws it at his head but Ozzy catches it in his hand. Lord DoomForAll, in the audience, suddenly becomes rather interested in this fight as Ozzy suddenly obtains angelic and demonic powers for reasons unknown, maybe because hes Christian, maybe because hes a Goth, who knows? Anyway Ozzy himself doesnt know of this and begins to sing Crazy Train and the audience goes nuts...in a good way. Solaria has had enough of this and uses a floral beam on Ozzy but it has absolutely no effect. Ozzy then lets out a high-pitched chorus that rings throughout the arena and deafens everybody, except DoomForAll of course. A random Hammer Bro. in the audience suddenly throws a hammer in the arena and it lands on Ozzys toe. Ozzy howls in pain and Nightwing, however deaf, grabs the opportunity to rip out his vocal chords, while Solaria kicks him in the balls. Since his vocal chords were ripped out, Ozzy cant scream in huge pain, and his head explodes, leaving him a headless corpse. Solaria then proceeds to burn up any album by Ozzy Osbourne ever made.
Solaria Crystalwing & Nightwing advance to Round 2!
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Dark Magician vs. A Wiimote
House fighters are Asterix and Obelix.
The Dark Magician looks around; he doesnt see his opponent anywhere. Then he espies a lone controller sitting on the floor. That must be the opponent. The duel monster doesnt scorn the thing but immediately sends out a dark wave of energy that hits the Wiimote and sends it flying to the edge. Suddenly the Magician gasps; the Wiimote rises up all on its own. One may ponder how this is logical, but the Dark Magician prepares to embue himself with power and put an end to the floating piece of machinery. Suddenly his arm jerks out, sending him off-balance and crashing to the floor. He raises himself off the ground, rubbing his head, but he barely has a moment to consider the situation before his arm twists around, sending him into a world of pain, and the Wiimote is still floating. The hand of the duel monsters twisted arm stares back into his face before releasing a great blast of dark energy, catapulting the Magician off his feet and off the stage, plummeting down and into the void. The audience is albeit confused, but finally understand the problem when Mario takes off his vanish cap and puts down the Wiimote.
A Wiimote advances to Round 2!
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Kenshiro vs. Jeffrey Nothing
House fighters are Hamlet and Big Mac.
The muscle man known as Kenshiro walks forward to punch the vocalist of Mushroomhead into the next dimension. Unfortunately for him, Jeffrey Nothing has his tricks and trades, and so extends his finger. Pull his finger? What the? Kenshiro wonders about this, smirks, and grabs the finger and pulls it right off.
Suddenly a huge jet of yellow gas is emitted from the place where the finger was, and clouds of the stuff cover the arena. Its laughing gas, and Kenshiro falls to the ground, laughing insanely. The audience falls about roaring with unidentified mirth, and Jeffrey Nothing is the only one who isnt affected because hes got a gas mask on. He goes over and kicks Kenshiro but the man muscles are too strong and its uneffective. Suddenly, Kenshiro jumps up and grabs the vocalist, still laughing maniacally, and squeezing the poor guy harder and harder, and suddenly there is a explosive crack as Jeffreys spine snaps like an adamantium beam, and the limp form of Jeffrey Nothing plops down defeated. The gas wears off about a minute later.
Kenshiro advances to Round 2!
----
A bobsleigh vs. Homer Simpson
House fighter is The Watcher.
The bobsleigh is stationary at one end of the arena, and the infamous Homer Simpson is drooling at the other. Homer isnt moving, hes in his own thoughts about donuts, being rich, donuts, women, donuts, food, donuts, and so on. The Watcher calls in Asterix to help with this, and the gaulish house fighter pushes the bobsleight into the girth of the donut-crazed glutton. This does absolutely nothing to Homer except draw his attention out of his cross-eyed state; hes still obsessed with food, but looks into the sleigh and finds Asterix sitting there. His face goes sad. Im hungry, utters Homer and Asterix out of kindness gives him a roast boar to eat. Homer devours it and his eyes turn into slots, one spins and produces WOO, and the other produces HOO. YUUUUUUUUUUUUM! yells Homer and spazzes out, running all over the place and startling the crowd with his speed. Asterix gets out of the way as Homer crashes into the sleigh, and demolishes it instantly. Unfortunately Homer was running too fast and he takes both the ruins of Martijns entrant and himself off the stage.
But Homer advances to Round 2!
Hopefully this will get you guys back in the spirit of things.
ABK vs. Arael
House fighters are Ancalagon and Exa-Gore-Ic.
Before the fight, we see ABK and Arael alking in a locker room. They nod to each other, and turn and walk out of a tall building in Tokyo. This is rather unusual, as fighters arent really supposed to talk to each other before a fight. Theyre supposed to randomly appear there wtih absolutely no knowledge of each other...the narrator scratches his head while reading the script. Kody grabs a flamethrower and burns the narrator to a crisp before hiring a new narrator, and we get to the fight. ABK and Arael stare at each other blankly. The audience is booing and throwing trash at them, and Ancalagon breathes fire on them, roasting them. Exa-Gore-Ic then decides to get involved in the fight, and tackles ABK. ABK explodes...into paper-mache?! Exa-Gore-Ic tackles the other one, and Arael also explodes into paper-mache and Kody glares at the new narrator and burns him to a crisp as well. Meanwhile the real ABK and Arael are bounty hunting on the planet Venom, when suddenly the giant being called Andross (from the StarFox series of games) comes out of nowhere and swallows them whole. Arael, being an Angel, survives this but ABK is unable to withstand the onset and is torn to shreds by his own mind.
Arael advances to Round 2!
----
Bun-Bun vs. A squinting teacher
House fighters are Cortez and The Sickness.
The teacher fixes the ferret with its cold squint, but what the teacher doesnt know is that Bun-Bun, of course, has endured too many stares and rather inquisitve looks from on-goers nearby and so this doesnt affect it. The ferret jumps onto the teacher and tries to bite his hair off. The teacher screams and runs around in circles trying to dislodge the crazy rodent from his scalp but it is no good. Finally, after days of hopelessly jogging the French Riveria he falls to the ground dazed, and the ferret curls up in the teachers hair and goes to sleep. Cortez and The Sickness didnt care; they were too busy playing fooseball (dont ask me how a cloud of bacterium can play fooseball; he just can =P).
Bun-Bun advances to Round 2!
----
Solaria Crystalwing & Nightwing vs. Ozzy Osbourne
House fighters are Taki and Tira.
The wizard of Ozz is feeling good. Hes just smoked some dope and is living the life. It should be no problem to take care of these two. Solaria blinks at the gothic metalhead at the other end of the arena, and is rather disgusted. She walks over to him and smacks him upside the head. The crowd ooooooooooh!s at that, and Ozzys head turns about 90 degrees. He sets it straight again, and slaps Solaria back, right across the back of the head. She falls down, and the crowd laughs. Nightwing goes to slaughter some of the audience but the house fighters stop him, and Nightwing instead leaps at Ozzy and tries to take his head off. Ozzy dodges this, and turns to Solaria, who immediately throws a punch right into Ozzys head. Suddenly, Ozzys world goes psychadelic, and he believes himself to be at Ozzfest. He calls for a mic, and Taki throws it at his head but Ozzy catches it in his hand. Lord DoomForAll, in the audience, suddenly becomes rather interested in this fight as Ozzy suddenly obtains angelic and demonic powers for reasons unknown, maybe because hes Christian, maybe because hes a Goth, who knows? Anyway Ozzy himself doesnt know of this and begins to sing Crazy Train and the audience goes nuts...in a good way. Solaria has had enough of this and uses a floral beam on Ozzy but it has absolutely no effect. Ozzy then lets out a high-pitched chorus that rings throughout the arena and deafens everybody, except DoomForAll of course. A random Hammer Bro. in the audience suddenly throws a hammer in the arena and it lands on Ozzys toe. Ozzy howls in pain and Nightwing, however deaf, grabs the opportunity to rip out his vocal chords, while Solaria kicks him in the balls. Since his vocal chords were ripped out, Ozzy cant scream in huge pain, and his head explodes, leaving him a headless corpse. Solaria then proceeds to burn up any album by Ozzy Osbourne ever made.
Solaria Crystalwing & Nightwing advance to Round 2!
----
Dark Magician vs. A Wiimote
House fighters are Asterix and Obelix.
The Dark Magician looks around; he doesnt see his opponent anywhere. Then he espies a lone controller sitting on the floor. That must be the opponent. The duel monster doesnt scorn the thing but immediately sends out a dark wave of energy that hits the Wiimote and sends it flying to the edge. Suddenly the Magician gasps; the Wiimote rises up all on its own. One may ponder how this is logical, but the Dark Magician prepares to embue himself with power and put an end to the floating piece of machinery. Suddenly his arm jerks out, sending him off-balance and crashing to the floor. He raises himself off the ground, rubbing his head, but he barely has a moment to consider the situation before his arm twists around, sending him into a world of pain, and the Wiimote is still floating. The hand of the duel monsters twisted arm stares back into his face before releasing a great blast of dark energy, catapulting the Magician off his feet and off the stage, plummeting down and into the void. The audience is albeit confused, but finally understand the problem when Mario takes off his vanish cap and puts down the Wiimote.
A Wiimote advances to Round 2!
----
Kenshiro vs. Jeffrey Nothing
House fighters are Hamlet and Big Mac.
The muscle man known as Kenshiro walks forward to punch the vocalist of Mushroomhead into the next dimension. Unfortunately for him, Jeffrey Nothing has his tricks and trades, and so extends his finger. Pull his finger? What the? Kenshiro wonders about this, smirks, and grabs the finger and pulls it right off.
Suddenly a huge jet of yellow gas is emitted from the place where the finger was, and clouds of the stuff cover the arena. Its laughing gas, and Kenshiro falls to the ground, laughing insanely. The audience falls about roaring with unidentified mirth, and Jeffrey Nothing is the only one who isnt affected because hes got a gas mask on. He goes over and kicks Kenshiro but the man muscles are too strong and its uneffective. Suddenly, Kenshiro jumps up and grabs the vocalist, still laughing maniacally, and squeezing the poor guy harder and harder, and suddenly there is a explosive crack as Jeffreys spine snaps like an adamantium beam, and the limp form of Jeffrey Nothing plops down defeated. The gas wears off about a minute later.
Kenshiro advances to Round 2!
----
A bobsleigh vs. Homer Simpson
House fighter is The Watcher.
The bobsleigh is stationary at one end of the arena, and the infamous Homer Simpson is drooling at the other. Homer isnt moving, hes in his own thoughts about donuts, being rich, donuts, women, donuts, food, donuts, and so on. The Watcher calls in Asterix to help with this, and the gaulish house fighter pushes the bobsleight into the girth of the donut-crazed glutton. This does absolutely nothing to Homer except draw his attention out of his cross-eyed state; hes still obsessed with food, but looks into the sleigh and finds Asterix sitting there. His face goes sad. Im hungry, utters Homer and Asterix out of kindness gives him a roast boar to eat. Homer devours it and his eyes turn into slots, one spins and produces WOO, and the other produces HOO. YUUUUUUUUUUUUM! yells Homer and spazzes out, running all over the place and startling the crowd with his speed. Asterix gets out of the way as Homer crashes into the sleigh, and demolishes it instantly. Unfortunately Homer was running too fast and he takes both the ruins of Martijns entrant and himself off the stage.
But Homer advances to Round 2!
Hopefully this will get you guys back in the spirit of things.
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