Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

[dinowarrior]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

THE BOXS TACTICS

Open up, spewing out all the clones. The S.I clones will yell Crikey! A Goth! and leap on it, whilst the E.K clones will run over its toes with their little motorcycles.

[razerdave]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Goths tactics: use the Tanto to slash the tyres on all the EK clones bikes and tornado spin into the SI clones and slice him to ribbons and feed him to the nearest crocodile. If that fails stamp on them with his size 14 foot

[Guest]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Noooooo! Dethklok! Ah well, what can you do?

Great fights and happy singles awareness day everyone.

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

A box filled with miniture Steve Irwin and Evel Knievel clones vs. A goth who wields a tanto

House fighters are Asterix and Big Mac.

The goth comes into the arena, wielding his huge tanto. The box sits there...and sits there...and sits there...finally, Asterix goes over and kicks the box. The box suddenly coughs up millions...no! BILLIONS of Steve Irwin and Evel Kinevil clones! The goth seems surprised, and starts to slash and slice at the clones but more just keep coming. The Steve Irwin clones have miniature crocodile nets and braces, and the Evel Kinevil clones take out their motorcycles and drive towards the goth with flaming brands. They pummel him into a pulp but then Asterix starts his attack. They try to take out the house fighter but Asterix, despite his size is just too powerful for the clones to overcome. The now heavily-beaten-up goth grabs the Big Mac that lies nearby and slowly eats it. A vacuum appears on his back for no apparent reason...the goth looks confused, but then turns the vacuum on.
At once the vacuum activates, its pull exceedingly strong, and the SI and EK clones squeak in dismay as they are pulled towards the vacuum and in; however, its not a normal vacuum, and the clones are pulled into a plothole which leads to the space vacuum and freeze to death. The goth then kicks the box off the stage.

A goth who wields a tanto advances to Round 2!

----

A ninja vs. Myzery

House fighters are Taki and The Sickness.

The ninja is pretty confident. Before the last fight he was taking lessons from the cast of Naruto and what the bloody hell is an idiot rapper going to do against him? Myzery doesnt like the ninja for some other reason than having to fight him, and proceeds to bust out some tunes. The ninja uses some clone jutsu and makes many copies of himself, but Myzery keeps on rapping, not quailing at all, not even bothering to look around him. The ninjas charge, but Myzery starts to dance as he raps, and the ninjas miss him, collide with each other and form the original ninja, who looks dazed. Myzery keeps rapping, throwing punches in his moves as he does so. The ninja staggers back, weariness slightly forming inside of him, and leaps up high for a lightning-speed take-down attack. Myzery twists around, and the ninja ends up face-first in the ground. Myzery then stomps on him, still rapping, and picks him up and throws him across the stage. The ninja really is peeved now, and decides to use his last resort. He throws a smoke-bomb down into the ground, disappearing. Myzery takes no notice, about to end his song, when suddenly the ninja appears above him and plants a device on the back of Myzerys head. The ninja doesnt know what it is, having stolen it from somebody in the audience before, but he hopes it helps him. Seconds later, webbing bursts from the device, cocooning Myzerys head in sticky threads, and the rapper falls to the ground, flailing about, trying to rip the cocoon off but its very sticky, and has hardened to beyond even metallic proportions. The rapper finally loses air and the ninja throws him off the stage.

A ninja advances to Round 2!

----

Diotoir vs. Santa Claus

House fighters are Cortez and Obelix.

The spotted Robot Wars veteran moves about, its mad face grinning sinisterly at his opponent, who sits there in the sleigh. However this is not the Santa Claus we all know and...know. This is in fact the robotic Santa Claus from Futurama, made my MOMs friendly robot company. Ho! Ho! Ho! booms the killer Claus as he stomps out towards Diotoir with a machine gun. He throws a lump of coal at Diotoir but it bounces off and does nothing to even the red and black coat. Then it explodes under Cortezs feet, signifying that it was in fact a hand grenade. Claus growls at this irritating sight, and then pumps out lead at the veteran; however the Diotoir boys made a last minute installment to Diotoir, adding about a centimetre of hardox 750 to the outer shell. This means that Diotoir is completely immune to the bullets that the killer Claus fires at him. The bullets bounce off and hit Obelix, who seems also to be immune to the spray of bullets but thats because they were slowed down when ricocheting off of Diotoir. Diotoir now goes on the aggressive, scooping Claus feet and tipping him over. The Claus falls forward with a grunt and right on top of Diotoir, who carries him over to Obelix. Obelix puts both hands together and brings them down hard on the Claus head. The head is crumpled completely and Claus cant see. He stumbles about randomly and is suddenly trampled by a herd of winged zebras. The robotic reindeer cry out in fear before jumping off the stage to their doom.

Diotoir advances to Round 2!

----

And now for a fight that me, Melissa, and Martijn have been eagerly awaiting!

Ming Higurashi vs. A bat out of hell.

House fighters are Tira and Ancalagon.

Ming smirks. She fingers the handle of one of her katanas, anticipating the arrival of the opponent. No little winged rodent could possibly conjure up enough power to defeat her, she smiles. Suddenly, a vortex opens up in the air, and Ming stares at it. Its surrounded by fire and is a black even blacker than the deepest night. And out of the vortex flies a bat.
The said bat is huge. Its massive, hairy body is flanked by two giant leathery wicked wings, which when spread out make a wingspan of 75 feet. Its eyes are a deep crimson and its long fangs are stained red. It gives a sickening screech as its clawed feet strike out at Ming who whisks away behind the bat. The bat turns, but Ming jumps at the head and slashes the nose of the creature with her katanas. However, the skin and hide of even the nose of the bat seems to be impenetrable, and the scratch fades as the bat screeches again and tackles Ming. Ming dives away just in time, and lets fly a beam of light from her katanas as she brings them down into the ground. The beams strike the beat dead center but again the bat is uninjured by the assault. Ming frowns; this fight isnt going how she wanted it to. The bat waits for its prey to come near, and bares its fangs, hoarsely growling. Ming chants a prayer, but the resulting wave from above also is uneffective. The bat charges and finally is able to pin Ming. It screeches again, in her face. Ming again chants a prayer, and this time her katanas glow blue instead of white. She plunges them into the bats stomach, and finally the bat is fazed. The katanas pierce the hide and seek into the innards of the hell-sent creature. The bat roars in pain and blows itself backwards, Mings weapons still stuck in its belly. Ming then takes out a steel fan and slashes the bat right from the head to the belly. Needless to say, the bat keels from the sky and lands head-first into the stage floor, defeated. The katanas dislodge from the bats belly and lay in front of Ming. The vortex reappears and sucks the bat back into the fiery depths of hell. Ming breathes heavily, and then stands up, more than surprised at the power of her opponent even though she beat him.

Ming Higurashi advances to Round 2!

More soon!

[tacoman]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Woo! Two out of two!

Well, may as well post some tactics for my next fight.

Half-eaten Bacon Sandwich V Professor Vengance

The Prof will go to eat the sandwich, at which point the sandwich will use its KUNG-FU POWER! WAPOW! to lodge a crumb in the Professors brain. Its a pretty big crumb, so itll kill him.

[steven_mcg]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

A.T.T.T.W.I.
ROUND 1
BEAVIS VS Sociology
Sociology is a very vague subject. As such, Beavis will be lured into a false sense of security at the start of this fight. So, when he starts getting cocky and lets the snarky insults fly, BAM! Out come Karl Marx and Max Weber to lecture him on the mechanics of communism and social class structures! Even us smart uni people found that a chore, so God help someone like Beavis!
In a worst case scenario, spring a surprise exam on him.

A half-eaten bacon sandwich VS PROFESSOR VENGEANCE
Trying to eat a contestant never does any good in these tournies. Keep at a distance, set the cane to flamethrower and burn that bacon to ashes.
If all else fails, throw it to the House Fighters and see if they can digest it.

[almost_there]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Yay! The most powerful red and black spotted, highly flammable thing in the universe has advanced to round 2!

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Yay! More fights!

Sociology vs. Beavis

House fighters are Hamlet and Asterix.

Beavis, to put it bluntly, isnt too smart. In fact, if you put a maggot beside him, the worms SAT score would double Beavis. Therefore neither of the house fighters can figure out how he can possibly defeat one of the hardest and most irritating subjects of university. Beavis gets a piece of paper and studies it for a second. Then he immediately sticks it in his mouth and eats it, wiping his face with a vegetarian pizza. Unfortunately that was Hamlets pizza and so Hamlet walks over to Beavis and belts him in the back of the head with the hilt of his rapier. Beavis is knocked out cold and hits the floor.
Just I am about to declare Sociology the winner, Beavis eyes flicker open. He gets up, brushes himself off, pulls out a book and begins reading. Within seconds he is talking to Hamlet who decides not to tell Beavis about the blow. Stunningly, the blow from the rapier has given Beavis a big jolt of intellect. Hamlet and Beavis discontinue their conversation and Hamlet disappears.
Suddenly, Hamlet reappears holding a rock. Beavis takes it from Hamlet and looks at it. Then he throws it off of the stage and declares himself the winner. The audience is extremely confused, but Hamlet lets them know what happened.
I went back in time, and changed their names. So now Rock is a subject taken at university and Sociology is a piece of earth.
In the audience, Steven McGregor scribbles out the subject name Sociology and puts beside it Rock.

Beavis advances to Round 2!

----

Professor Vengeance vs. A half-eaten bacon sandwich

House fighter is The Watcher.

The Profs cape swirls menacingly as he comes into the arena, power surging through his veins. At the end of the arena he espies a lone sandwich, half-aten, with bacon sticking out. Prof. Vengeance raises an eyebrow at this rather pathetic sight, and then grabs his trusty cane to burn the sandwich to ashes.
All of a sudden, there is a cry in the audience. The Prof. turns around to see one of the house fighters bouncing into the arena. Its Big Mac, and for another sandwich, he sure looks mad. He complains to the Prof. that the sandwich right there was his long-lost sister and that he couldnt possibly destroy one of his family or hes kill him. Vengeance laughs at him and sets the cane to flamethrower mode. Big Mac speaks to The Watcher. The Watcher then lets out a deadly, shrill cry from his three heads.
Suddenly Prof. Vengeance turns to see all of the house fighters surrounding him, except Big Mac, who is guarding his apparent sister. Vengeance laughs no more, but keeps his eyes fixed upon his enemies, his cane at the ready. Cortez is the first to break the silence, lunging at the Prof. with his sabre. Vengeance parries the blow seeing Cortez is invulnerable. He blasts Taki out of the way with a zap from his cane but Tira grabs him from behind and pins him. Just as Ancalagon is about to step on him, there is a yell from Big Mac. Ancalagon flew forwards too fast and the mighty beat of his wings sent the bacon sandwich flying into space. Ancalagon is arrested by the dragon police, but breaks out a day later. The other house fighters release Prof. Venegance, who glares at them coldly and walks away, his cape swishing around him.

Professor Vengeance advances to Round 2!

----

Slipknot vs. The most harmless, cute and innocent thing in the universe

House fighters are Tira and Cortez.

The most harmless, cute, and innocent thing in the universe sits there. No one knows what it is, or what it does. Corey Taylor, lead vocalist of Slipknot, motions to his band to start playing Duality, but something stops them. Apparently they cant play such a violent song in front of this thing, whatever it may be. Suddenly, the thing says I love you. in a extremely cute voice. Slipknot twitch at hearing this comment, and Corey Taylor goes to stomp it. Be my friend, says the thing, and Taylor falls backwards, breathing hard. A dark soul like his cannot endure this onslaught of friendly statements. The entire band run up to defend their leader but the cute thing replies Well be best friends. The band scream in agony, and fall backwards like Taylor, holding their heads in agony. The cute thing continues its verbal assault. Just as Slipknots ears start to bleed, Tira runs up and grabs the thing, sealing its mouth shut. There is a slight pause as everyone looks at Tira. Tira grins evilly and goes under a large cardboard box, taking the thing with her. Loud ripping and tearing sounds come from under the box, and a second later Tira gets out, and smiles at the crowd, stuffing in her mouth. It seemed that the most harmless, cute, and innocent thing in the universe was just a stuffed teddy bear.

Slipknot advance to Round 2!

[majinb]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

tactics

Fighter vs. Danish cartoonist
Draw a offensive cartoon, and sign it Fighter. Lets see how my nemesis will deal with all those people wanting a piece of him.

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

More fights later today...I hope.

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

A gold pocketwatch vs. The City Wok Owner

House fighters are The Sickness and Big Mac.

The Owner laughs at the pocketwatch, which just sits there, doing nothing, just ticking away the time. Such a harmless thing it seems to be, the Owner picks it up and stares at it. Maybe he could sell it and become rich...or maybe make a franchise of pocketwatches! All this is driven from his mind as the pocketwatch slips out of his grasp and lands on the floor, and breaks. As the pocketwatch isnt destroyed or smushed into powder yet, Kody decides not to declare the Owner the winner. The said Owner cries out in anguish, as all his hopes and dreams are lost...but not yet. He decides to fix it, and so gets out a wrench, a screwdriver, a flashlight, and some No Doze and spends about 48 hours straight trying to fix the thing. At last he finally does so, and the pocketwatch looks as good as new, but the Owner has taken the toll of 48 straight hours without sleep or sustainance, and even with the No Doze the Owner twitches, has a spasm, and keels over, still as a stone.

A gold pocketwatch advances to Round 2!

Might have more up later.

[dinowarrior]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

MINI FRIDGES TACTICS
See the video the entry came with.

[pcbore]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Unfortunately for Martijn, no-one would ever believe Fighter actually managed to draw something (unless it was a sword). Especially not something that managed to concsiously offend people

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Rapier vs. Mini Fridge

House fighters are Asterix and Ancalagon.

The Wing Commander fighter jet lands down at one end of the arena. The Rapier looks rather like an Arwing from the StarFox series, but thats for another story. The mini-fridge sits at the other end, looking rather futile and weak. The operator of the Arwing looks confused, as though he thinks the opponent is not there. Then he sees the fridge sitting all by its lonesome. Immediately he fires one of the Rapiers multi-missiles right at the appliance. There is a tremorous BOOM as the missile connects with the fridge, and the operator is satisfied to see a great explosion and cloud of smoke from the area where his opponent once was.
However, when the smoke clears, he cant believe his eyes. The fridge has not moved at all, and absolutely no damage, no sign of impact has been made save for pieces of the missile which lay all around the fridge. The operator gets out and inpsects the fridge. He notices that someone had crazy-and-super-glued AND duct-taped the bottom of the fridge to the arena floor. All of a sudden the door opens, and a light can be seen inside. The Rapier operator looks inside of the fridge and gets a fist in the face. Ironically, that fist is a boxing glove made of titanium, and it knocks the pilot right onto his head, cracking it like an egg. This should have won it for the fridge however the Rapier jet itself is still intact. Since neither of the fighters are now able to move on their own, Asterix gets into the Rapier and Ancalagon picks up the Mini Fridge. Asterix looks around. The buttons are pretty complicated, yet hes pretty confident and pulls a few switches and buttons. Unfortunately technology is rather hard for our little gaul friend to understand and the Rapier ignites it thursts, bolts backwards off the arena and ejects Asterix from the seat. The Rapier keeps on going backwards until it hits a star and supernovas it, obliterating itself.

Mini Fridge advances to Round 2!

----

Al Gore vs. Hammer Brother

House fighters are Hamlet and Taki.

The American presidency candidate and the Koopa with the helmet and really dangerous hammer square each other up. Then they charge headfirst, completely linear with one anothers paths. Unfortunately for Al Gore, he forgets that the Hammer Bro. brought his helmet to the match and so they collide with a sickening collision. Al Gore bounces away, his head severely damaged by the confrontation with his opponent, and shakes his head. The Hammer Bro. raises his hammer but then Al Gore remembers that he invented everything, and sues Nintendo $2.5 million for their item damaging him. The Hammer Bro. is forced to sell his helmet to avoid being caught up in the whole deal. Al Gore then calls up his bodyguards and hires more bodyguards in a swindle that gets him more money. The Hammer Bro. is surrounded by bodyguards but isnt fazed because hes faced the likes of Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi and gotten plenty of experience out of it. Like lightning he tosses hundreds of hammers at the bodyguards, and hitting their shades, destroying them. Unfortunately for Gore those were secretly the bodyguards shades made by them without him knowing it and so he cant sue the Hammer Bro. at all. The bodyguards run off the stage crying, their precious work has been destroyed thanks to that evil turtle, but now Al Gore is left helpless. He looks this way and that, looking for a way out but the Hammer Bro. closes in and puts the idiot in a stranglehold using the handle of his hammer as well. Al Gore suffocates and falls to the ground deceased, and Taki kicks him into a plothole leading to radioactive spiderbots.

Hammer Brother advances to Round 2!

----

Tekkaman vs. Barney

House fighters are Exa-Gore-Ic and Obelix.

Tekkaman glares at Barney; this must be some sort of evil organism disguised as a happy purple dinosaur. Unfortunately for Barney Kody REALLY hated him as a kid and decided not to check up on him or his stats at all for this tournament, and so allows Tekkaman to do what he wants. Tekkaman rushes forward with his spear and sticks it through Barneys stomach. Loads of white stuffing fluff out. Then Tekkaman gets into a fight cloud with the dino, from which more stuffing flies in great clusters. The fight cloud dissipates where Tekkaman is standing around a circular mound of white stuffing and purple cloth. Tira applauds from the audience and shockingly gets a glare from Tekkaman.

Tekkaman advances to Round 2!

----

Fighter vs. Danish cartoonist

House fighter is The Watcher.

The swordsman wanders about. Hes not on Final Destination, but on a barren field, which is an appropriate name for it seeing as its bare of anything except ground. Fighter wanders about until he sees something moving in the distance. Its a wain being moved by people. Fighter rushes towards the wain, the fire of battle alight in his eyes, but when he gets closer all he sees is the Pope, resting peacefully in the front seat. Then suddenly one of the people lets a yell and points at Fighter. Fighter is confused by this but even more so when the Pope awakens, sees Fighter, and begins pointing at yelling him too. Fighter unsheathes his sword and charges at them all, when suddenly he hears a rumbling behind him. He turns, and yells himself; theres ten thousand Danish knights in armour running right at him! Hurriedly Fighter runs away, but the knights are rather faster than he is, and then overtake him, and slash at him. He falls to the ground and is jumped upon by the Danish knights. The last thing he hears is the Pope yelling at him...
Back on Final Destination, the Danish cartoonist shows The Watcher the comic he just made. Its about a soldier getting chased by Danish knights and the Pope. The Watcher glares at him and snatches it away from him, devouring it in one of his three-beaked heads.

Danish cartoonist advances to Round 2!

[majinb]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

w00t, Wild Horses is next

Childhood living is easy to do
The things you wanted I bought them for you
Graceless lady you know who I am
You know I cant let you slide through my hands

Wild horses couldnt drag me away
Wild, wild horses, couldnt drag me away

I watched you suffer a dull aching pain
Now you decided to show me the same
No sweeping exits or offstage lines
Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind

Wild horses couldnt drag me away
Wild, wild horses, couldnt drag me away

I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie
I have my freedom but I dont have much time
Faith has been broken, tears must be cried
Lets do some living after we die

Wild horses couldnt drag me away
Wild, wild horses, well ride them some day

Wild horses couldnt drag me away
Wild, wild horses, well ride them some day