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Robot Wars RPG - The Mentorn Conspiracy 2005
I can still post! :-p
I can still post! :-p
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Robot Wars RPG - The Mentorn Conspiracy 2005
ROBUTTNIK!!!
Team Gore
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Robot Wars RPG - The Mentorn Conspiracy 2005
STEVE SEZ:
Sorry for the delay, lads. Been taking a little break from the writting this weekend
CHAPTER 4: DUNGEONS AND DRAGONBALLS
DATELINE: Rouken Glen Park, Giffnock, Scotland, 6:36pm
With a few deafening crashes, Bertie finally landed down in the wood, taking out the odd tree on his way as he screeched to a halt along the forest floor.
Please tell me the other two suspects have a few acres of nice open grounds in their bases he groaned dizzily. However, the team simply ignored his complaints and drove him further into the wood, following Nicoles layout of the park. Within minutes, they reached a clearing and found themselves at the edge of an large duck pond, a small cave nestled on the island in the middle.
Let me guess... Bertie sighed and folding his wheels into his body, the bus floated across the little lake and up to the island.
Same procedure as always, Bert, Aaron said matter-of-factly and Bertie bobbed back to shore, grumbling under his breath. The group then turned to the caves entrance and realised that it was blocked by a set of thick wooden doors.
...do we knock? Andy asked tentatively.
Dont see the harm, Alex said casually and hacked a way through the oak panels with his lightsabre, revealing a gold-painted firemans pole leading down into the darkness.
Not the most stylish way to make an entrance, Elle said a little sniffily, but itll have to do and one by one, the troop began sliding down into the cave.
Blissfully unaware that the plastic skull lying beside the entrance had captured the whole thing on tape.
**********
After only a few seconds of sliding (combined with the odd Woot! of excitement from AJ), the group landed in an undignified heap at the bottom of the rocky shaft.
Everyone alright? Elle inquired.
I think I bruised my cerebrum, Chris squeaked, but still managed to pick himself up with the rest. The team surveyed their surroundings. They appeared to be standing on the edge of a large stone courtyard, a magnificant castle standing just behind it, nearly touching the caves unnervingly high ceiling. Slowly, they crossed the square, many of them a little nervous about the gallows standing in the centre.
This isnt right, Aaron whispered, anyone else get the feeling were being watched?. Suddenly, a bang filled the cave and a cannonball smashed into the stone floor, mere inches away from the troop.
Now I do, Matty groaned and several figures lept down from the four walls of the courtyard. Several bulky men with large facial hair, ragged clothing and the odd limb missing here and there.
Pirates?! Kody exclaimed, oh, this would be so cool if they werent trying to kill us!. And that indeed looked like their intention. However, these werent just your normal run-of-the-mill, Treasure Island, bring me Peter Pan! pirates. These paticular rouges were equipped with cybernetic parts to accompany their swords and guns. Several featured a cannon for an arm, while others had circular saws in place of hooks. A small group even appeared to have pick-axes for peg-legs.
Ye be goin nowhere, mateys! one of them growled, twirling his cutting disc with a hairy finger, cept praps Davey Jones Locker!
Hardly like battling S.P.E.C.T.R.E., this, is it, mlady? Chris whispered to Agent Mann.
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Robot Wars RPG - The Mentorn Conspiracy 2005
DECISION TIME!
Ambush!
Ellis pirate guards have found you before youve even penetrated the castle walls! The only way youre getting inside now is with a good old-fashioned smash-up! Info on your gruff opponents can be found below:
NAME: Random Pirates
BODY SHAPE: humanoid
MOVEMENT: two legs
ARMOURING: shirts n vests, tough hair, thick skin
WEAPONRY: guns, swords, cannon arm/pick-axe leg/saw hand
SRIMECH: arms
STATISTICS:
- Weapon Power = 8
- Speed = 5
- Manoueverability = 5
- Defense = 3
- Traction = 4
- Aim = 5
Now, get your battle plan together and lets make some beautiful carnage together.
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Robot Wars RPG - The Mentorn Conspiracy 2005
heh heh...erm...Nicole wouldnt happen to have an inbuilt EMP device would she?Comment
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Robot Wars RPG - The Mentorn Conspiracy 2005
Turn into Super Gore GTI and smash em up.
Team Gore
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Robot Wars RPG - The Mentorn Conspiracy 2005
ok, i have low attack and defense, its all really with the speed, so i act as the distraction, dodging and weaving until Alex can get his ass over there and make chop suey
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Robot Wars RPG - The Mentorn Conspiracy 2005
Alex may be busy, Chris...
New tactics: Pick up one of the enemies and use it against the others
Team Gore
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Robot Wars RPG - The Mentorn Conspiracy 2005
STEVE SEZ:
Again, apologies for the delay, chappies. For the record, its interesting to note that your current foe (the esteemed Mr Ellis) is in fact a real person - my real-life best mate, as a matter of fact. And it is with his kind permission that his likeness, his estate and his piratical whordes are able to appear in my little tale.
**********
Immediately, the crew had morphed into their robotic forms, while Elle began cartwheeling her way around the pirates. Their simplistic brains baffled by hers and Love Bites manouevres, a small group failed to notice the Archangel of the Abyss creeping up on them. In a rather icky mess of oil and sparks (amoungst other things), legs and pick axes were flung to one side with pained cries of AAAAAARRRRR!, as GeForce catapulted the wounded ruffians up and over the courtyard walls.
Kody seemed to be having a ball too. Despite taking a few dints in its titanium-hardox armouring from a saw-weilding pirate, Super Gore wrapped its claws around its ankles and rammed the disc-clad delinquent into several of his comrades. After cutting a few foes down to size, the Big Nipper lookalike twirled around and shunted its captor smack-bang into the waiting Knightrous Oxides flywheel. Lets just say the resulting collision would have made Jackson Pollock proud.
Matty, on the other hand, was having much less luck. Though managing to nibble away at a few legs with his own saw blade, one of the pirates simply jumped on top of him and began slowly hacking into the carbon/kevlar shell with his pick-axe limb. Fortunately, a quick shunt from the rear by Love Bite managed to knock the thief to the floor (Cheeky boy! Matty thought) as the Archangel used him as the canvas for his next gruesome masterpiece. Agent Mann was enjoying herself as well. Her gymnastic moves easily avoided the blasts from the arm cannons and any pirate that got in her way ended up with her high-heeled boots shooting into their groinal areas. After only a minute or two of this mindless violence, barely a handful of the pirates remained.
Well, that wasnt too bad, Matty commented, dusting himself off as Knightrous and the Archangel chased the remaining terrified rouges away. Now, whos up for a little penetration?
Oh come on! AJ winced, thats just disgusting!
...what?! Matty exclaimed, I meant the castle! Honestly, guys, give me a break! I am not the most screamingly homosexual person on the planet, you know! Ever heard of the Backstreet Boys?!
Can we just get on with this? Elle groaned and silently agreeing with her, the group sidled through the courtyard and right up to the massive fortress doors, little bronze warhammers for knockers.
Okay-doke, Nicole, Chris said chirpily, lets get a look at the internals before we go in. Got any traces of Mr Devo here?. Cue some more trademark clicks and whirls.
[Negative indications in present range. Most likely location of subject would be the hidden Trophy Room.]
And just how do we find it if its hidden? Alex inquired.
[Simple. Head back to the gallows.] Not quite sure what she was getting at, the team stepped back into the courtyard and up the wooden steps of the scaffold. [Now tug the noose sharply and activate the lever at the same time].
Allow me, guys and gal, Kody said smoothly and cracking his knuckles, he yanked the thick rope like he was ringing a church bell, just as Agent Mann gave the lever a sharp kick. The trap door fell open with a click and the ground below pulled apart to reveal a ladder leading down into another passageway.
Any further underground and Ill be home, Aaron muttered with a roll of his eyes as the gang started descending into the darkness.
**********
Now ever further beneath the parks surface, the troop finally reached solid ground again, the long stone passageway they had just entered almost turquoisey from the torches lining it.
At least it cant really get any worse than what happened upstairs, AJ said brightly, but then Alex forced his head down the rocky corridor and his eyes seemed to grow wider than usual.
The entire cave was just one booby trap after another. First up was a row of heavy crossbows (their pressure pads more than a little obvious), followed by several pneumatic swords punching in and out of the walls. After that came a few giant hammers pounding into the floor, tentacles flailing from the ceiling which seemed to resemble loose school ties, a little bridge crossing a killer-sponge-filled pool and right above the door at the end was the enormous cannon of a Panzer tank. The group just stood there dumbfounded, Blonde on Blonde by Bob Dylan being pumped in through speakers littering the passage.
...well..., AJ jittered, who fancies a stroll?
However (strangely), Chris didnt seem quite as worried as the others. Its not all black, he pointed out, see, according to the blueprints, theres a switch between each trap. That must turn them off so Mr Ellis can make his way back out trouble-free during visits. If one of us can shut off each obstacle, well all be able to make it through to Wedge Devo.
Thats all very well, dude, Kody gulped, the question is just how to do that...
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Robot Wars RPG - The Mentorn Conspiracy 2005
DECISION TIME!
The pirates may have been vanquished, but now, this grisly gauntlet stands between you and Ellis immense wealth of pilfered items - Mr Devo possibly amoung them. How do you intend to clear each trap to access the Trophy Room? Remember that both robotic and human forms can be used at any time. No restrictions in this citadel, baby.
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Robot Wars RPG - The Mentorn Conspiracy 2005
Ok, Love Bite can probably nimbly dodge the pressure pads for the crossbows. The swords, again Love Bite, its low to the ground, might get undewr the sword. If Nicole can calculate where the hammers will hit, Love Bite can also probably dodge them.
The tentacles, Archangel has an upper flywheel, no prob, eh? The bridge, human form perhaps? Certainly for Alex i think. As for the cannon...AJ...your spoon wouldnt just happen to have an antitank panzerfest attachment would it? I guess if the shells are off the ground, our intrepid speedster (Love Bite again) could dodge them.
heh, a lot of work for me methinks, someone better be ready to do repairs.Comment
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Robot Wars RPG - The Mentorn Conspiracy 2005
I would like to sometime use the line If i die, i am coming back to haunt each and every single one of you INCLUDING Steven!
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Robot Wars RPG - The Mentorn Conspiracy 2005
STEVE SEZ:
Nice to see youre all still so wrapped up in my little tale
Oh and FYI, I will not be throwing Kody out of the story. This is party because he seems most likely the real person in the little scandal thats hit the forum and also because it makes things a whole lot simpler for me. If anyone is able to contact Kody and ask him for tactics online, thatd be great. Failing that, use him to your advantage in your own plans
**********
Silence followed Kodys inquiry. They werent sure what to do.
Oh for Gods sake! Chris finally exclaimed, somebodys got to do something! and he suddenly morphed into Love Bite form.
Hold it, brainiac! Matty called, but Chris mission was over almost as quickly as it started. In seconds, the box-wedge had darted around the pressure-pads lining the floor and remorphed to his human state right beside the first switch.
All clear! he beckoned with a click and the others nervously crossed the first stretch to join him. Now then, he added, staring at the swords jabbing in and out in front of them, who fancies tackling them?
Step aside, pommies, Aaron announced triumphantly and in the blink of an eye, Knightrous Oxide could be seen charging towards the sabres. The group shielded their eyes and with a shower of sparks, the Australian pentagon had bent the blades right back - even managing to snap some clean in two!
Enter! he grinned, flicking switch number two and letting the gang through to the hammers.
My turn, I think Elle said proudly and pausing for a few seconds, she suddenly lept towards the mighty bludgeoners and began cartwheeling in, out n through the giant swinging and smashing hammerheads.
...sweet, a maroon Aaron squeaked as the troop ushered him up the deactivated pathway to their next obstacle.
Stand back, Alex grinned evily and changing into the Archangel, he trundled up to the tentacle ties, the twin spinning rings fast approaching maximum speed. Slowly, the tendrils started slipping their way across to the group, but the mechanised Alex simply met them head-on and ripped them apart in what can only be described as a stitching massacre. The next switch was activated and the team moved over to the edge of the sponge pool.
Allow me, Alex said, withdrawing his lightsabre and charged across the narrow bridge. However, hed only made it halfway when one of the sponges lept up and attached itself to his face. Desperately, he tried to prise the yellow leech from his face, but still, it kept sucking, leaving the ruler of the Oddestsey world on the edge of the bridge.
AL! Andy yelled and solved the problem the only way he knew how - with coffee! Whipping open a fresh flash, he threw the contents into Alexs face. With a screech of pain, the burnt sponge hopped back into the water and before any others could attack, AJ threw down another canister into the pool. In mere seconds, the water turned a deep brown before the group careered across the bridge, static sponges starting to float up to the surface.
One more, Matty piped up and gave the Panzer cannon guarding the door ahead a frightful look, any thoughts?
Not to worry, Kody grinned and turned the Camoflague Ray Gun on himself. The cannon had just taken notice of the team and was just preparing a fresh missile for them when...
COMPANY...HALT!
The cannon stopped dead in its tracks as Sgt Major Kunz stood before him.
WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION?! he barked, WHO DYA THINK YOU ARE, TURNING ON A COMMANDING OFFICER?! I AUGHTA HAVE YOUR STRIPES FOR THIS! Utterly confused, the cannon simply juddered left and right, blissfully unaware of Alexs lightsabre slicing it clean in two, catapulted over by a flip from GeForce.
Open sesame, the Canadian chuckled as he changed back to his normal attire and the doors ahead slowly swung open.
**********
Cautiously, the team entered the final room. If anything, it was even bigger than the Gauntlet, covered from wall-to-wall with all manner of weaponry while the floor was littered with enough jewels, money and world-famous possessions to make the British Museum look insignificant - but no Wedge Devo. Right at the end stood a tall golden throne, standing on which was an angry teenager with large blonde hair. He wore a deep blue jumpsuit, white boots and cape, a classic black band around his eyes and perched jauntily on his head was a horned Viking helmet.
Aha! he bellowed, so my guards were right! There are some damned Reds trying to make off with my booty!
Reds? Chris inquired, eyebrow raised.
[Hes a notorious Communism phobic] Nicole explained.
OK, lets just cut to the chase, Aaron groaned, tell us where the robot is so we can get the hell out of here.
...what bot? Ellis asked quizically.
You know, Matty explained, exasperated, short, wedge-shaped, silvery, flies Scotland flag, little red light on top etc etc.
...why the Jim Morrison would I want a robot like that for? the Legendary King of Thieves spluttered, Im a man of WAAAAR! Unless its a Gundam mech suit, I aint wantin it!
Whoop-de-doo, Alex said with a quick roll of his eyes, another delightful dead-end.
And now Ellis announced theatrically, its time to show you Commie cretins just what I do to tree-huggers like yourselves.... He paused and grinned seductively as he saw Agent Mann. ...cept you. You can share Jesses room in my harem. Getting back to his senses, he hopped down off his throne and darted to a nearby pedastal, on which seven orange balls lay on an old cushion once made in a Home Economics class.
Lets rock the dragon! he roared as he grabbed the little sphere and the room was suddenly filled with a bright yellow flash.
Who is that God-like figure? AJ exclaimed and as the light died, a glowing Ellis hovered above the ground, Vanilla Ice hair even larger than normal and biceps actually noticable. With what he felt was a very manly laugh, he shot towards the group with his infamous battle cry:
1, 2, 3, 4!
I LOVE MARINE CORPS!
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Robot Wars RPG - The Mentorn Conspiracy 2005
DECISION TIME!
What a Dragonballs-up this has turned out to be! Ellis has gone Super-Saiyan and is about to give you intruders a whooping you wont forget quickly! How on earth do you intend to get out of this scrape? I guess it could all come down (in the words of FatBoy Slim) to your Weapon of Choice... :wink:
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Robot Wars RPG - The Mentorn Conspiracy 2005
Hmmm.... get andy to throw his coffee over his hair distracting it while i sabre him down and everyone else attacks.Comment
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