The Real Robot Rumble

[steven_mcg]

I've just realised that I didn't include which House Bots would be in this fight. I shall serve my fifty lashes after the battle.

Ah yes. I actually have battles to write, don't I? Very well. Let us begin.

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THE REAL ROBOT RUMBLE
ELIMINATOR 1
HEXADECIMATOR Vs MORTIS Vs S.M.I.D.S.Y. Vs SON OF WHYACHI Vs TORNADO Vs WARHEAD

FROM REDMOND, IN WASHINGTON, HEXADECIMATOR!
GUEST DRIVER: Dylan McCarthy
This bulky box-wedge had one of the best flippers in Battlebots, a pneumatic arm capable of subtracting any robot from the arena with ease! The titanium armour has stood up well to spinners in the past - except Son of Whyachi - and the electric motors make it quick as a calculator, but it's not always the most manoeuvrable and if the arm runs out of flips mid-fight, Hexadecimator + inversion = doom.

FROM NOTTINGHAM & CAMBRIDGE, MORTIS!
GUEST DRIVER: Alex Holt
This may be the oldest robot in the Rumble, but when it comes to combat, Mortis is as 'rigorous' as ever. Its kevlar shell is nigh-on impenetrable, its Japanese tanto blade and electric lifting arm make a mean combo and with the caterpillar tracks provided extra traction, it's practically a tank! It's also rather unreliable and nearly 20kg lighter than the rest of the pack. Can Mortis keep a 'stiff' upper lip or will this fight be the death of it?

FROM CRAWLEY, IN WEST SUSSEX, S.M.I.D.S.Y!
GUEST DRIVER: Kody Kunz
Stands for "Sorry Mate I Didn't See You!", but there's really no missing this sleek machine in the first place. S.M.I.D.S.Y. is instantly recognisable with its lifting plate at the front, its spinning disc at the rear and its lovely black and orange body paint all over. It has good armour, good traction and an invertible frame, but the lifter isn't terribly effective when upside-down and a good axe-head on those exposed tyres could mean T.T.F.N. for S.M.I.D.S.Y. O.M.G!

FROM DORCHESTER, IN WISCONSIN, SON OF WHYACHI!
GUEST DRIVER: playzooki
A Heavyweight so good they had to ban it! This carnivorous cage spinner has shuffling pads to get around the arena and used its weight bonus to become one of the most fearsome Battlebots champions ever. The cage is both heavy and fast and the bots itself is nimble for a walker, but it's still a touch cumbersome and if a particularly fearless flipper does get past the hammers, it can't self-right. Will Whyachi spin to win or will the Son set on its hopes of victory?

FROM SAWTRY, IN CAMBRIDGESHIRE, TORNADO!
GUEST DRIVER: Andrew Jackson
Blow me down! The former Robot Wars champ is back to raise a gale with its array of interchangeable weaponry, ranging from drums and bar spinners to wedges and lifters. The real weapon, however, is its tremendous pushing power and high acceleration. Tornado is a fast and furious opponent and completely invertible to boot, but this does leave the wheels open to overhead attacks and its polycarb' armour is no storm shelter either. Can Tornado weather the hurricane or will it be dust in the wind?
For this fight, Tornado will be using the classic spinning drum.

FROM BOURNEMOUTH, IN DORSET, WARHEAD!
GUEST DRIVER: Josh Noel
From the brains of Team Razer comes a robot they really hope won't bomb - an elegant, compact machine with an angled spinning dome, two self-righting wings and a fully actuated tail for good measure. It's beautiful, to be sure, and the spinner can produce some truly explosive results (as Nightmare and the Matador will attest), but it does lack pushing power and twitchy controls could see Warhead's plans blow up in its face!

HOUSE ROBOTS: Dead Metal & Sir Killalot

Roboteers, stand by...
3...2...1...
ACTIVATE!

And it seems Son of Whyachi is already starting to spin up as Mortis, S.M.I.D.S.Y, Tornado and Hexadecimator all meet for a nice little pile-up in the arena centre. Hexy D makes a beeline for Mortis, but Alex is only happy to oblige him, landing a couple of glancing blows with the electric axe. The two scuttle around each other for a moment, while S.M.I.D.S.Y. and Tornado engage in a little shoving match. Sadly for Kody, Tornado has the upper hand in the pushing department and easily sends S.M.I.D.S.Y. into the nearest wall.
Speaking of "I didn't see you", what's happened to Warhead in all of this?
CRRRASH!
Oh, there we go! Josh has intervened in the Hexy-Mortis duel by smacking Hexadecimator on the side. Dylan quickly recovers from the blow, however, while Warhead spins away and takes a ram from Mortis before it can do likewise. Not wanting to waste his advantage, Alex pushes Warhead down the arena and even manages to lift it up briefly as they hit the Pit Release Button. Fortunately for Warhead, the wings keep it upright and it bounces back onto its wheels, only to take another shunt from the combined forces of Mortis, Hexadecimator...
CRRRASH!
And Son of Whyachi, it seems! About time you showed up. Yes, Playzooki has officially joined the fray and hit just about all three bots in some way, shape or form, it seems. Mortis and Warhead have held up well, though Hexadecimator is looking a little dented. Neither Hexy D nor Mortis seem deterred, however, as they both dive straight back into Son of Whyachi's hammers...
CRRRASH!
Mortis takes the brunt this time, though the insanely thick armour is still holding up. The cage now suitably slowed, Hexadecimator tries to wriggle underneath, taking a few more dents for good measure. The flipper does fire, but not hard enough to throw the shuffler over. Son of Whyachi is in more trouble now, though, as Warhead nips in for a nibble and Mortis attempts to push it to the nearest CPZ. Is the former Battlebots champ scuppered?
Eh, who cares? Rammer time!
After several shunts from Tornado, S.M.I.D.S.Y. manages to wriggle away and the duo's dance begins anew for a short while. S.M.I.D.S.Y. is swift and does manage to catch Tornado by the corners a couple of times, but Andy always manages to nip away before the lifting plate can catch it. Tornado stays on top of S.M.I.D.S.Y's assaults and, with one well-aimed ram to the side, manages to shove it right across the arena to join the others.
Son of Whyachi is still being dogpiled as the two invertibots arrive. Mortis is trying to lift the hefty walker, while Hexy D is trying to flip Mortis and Warhead - well, it's just flitting between all three landing blows wherever it can! S.M.I.D.S.Y. puts a stop to this when it gets shoved into the mess and leaves Tornado to tackle Warhead. Kody shoves the winged scorpion do-wotsit back into open space, while Tornado and Mortis help push Son of Whyachi into Dead Metal's open claws. The House Robot happily warps its claws around Whyachi's cage and even gets a quick nick in one of the hammer supports before the shuffler starts shuffling back.
FLIP!
And it seems Hexy D has already moved on to a new target! An attack from the side leaves Mortis on its back, but the lifting arm self-rights it just as Dylan starts shoving it across the floor. Mortis tries to strike back, but Tornado gets there first, slamming into the side of the fellow RW competitor. Tornado slams Mortis into the wall, before taking a flip from Hexy D itself. Andy is unaffected however and gives Hexadecimator a shove for its troubles too.
Speaking of troubles, Warhead is having a hard time keeping up with S.M.I.D.S.Y. Despite Josh's best efforts, he can't quite keep up with S.M.I.D.S.Y's pace and now Kody is starting to run rings round him. Warhead does get a passing blow in on S.M.I.D.S.Y, but Kody simply responds by diving under the elegant self-righting wings and dumping the Battlebot into the Pit! Boom goes the dynamite! Erm, I mean Warhead!
Kody has little time to celebrate, though, as Son of Whyachi has slipped Dead Metal's clutches and is already reaching a frightening speed. S.M.I.D.S.Y. runs off to join the rest of the troupe, who are having a flipping good time near the top of the arena. Well, Hexy D is, anyway. Tornado has taken at least two more flips and now it's Mortis' turn to be inverted. S.M.I.D.S.Y. shows up just as Alex self-rights and dives straight back under Mortis, slamming it into the northern wall. As the lifting plate starts tipping Mortis up, Tornado finally outmanoeuvres Hexy D and pushes the Battlebot further down the warzone...
CRRRASH!
Straight into Son of Whyachi!
Now Hexadecimator is truly looking the worse for wear. The side panelling is bashed and buckled and it doesn't seem as quick as it used to be. It's not dead yet, however, and scurries back up the arena to help S.M.I.D.S.Y, who is now playfully propping Mortis up against the wall. Hexy D shoves S.M.I..D.S.Y. aside, letting Alex self-right with the lifting arm - only to be flipped again by Hexadecimator! S.M.I.D.S.Y. seizes the opportunity and shoves the inverted Mortis into the waiting arms of Sir Killalot! Mortis self-rights, but not quickly enough to stop the House Robot grabbing the lifter and hoisting it into the air! Killalot cheekily attempts to remove Mortis from the ring altogether, but Alex's thrashing of the axe forces Sir K to let him go.
As Mortis escapes the CPZ, Hexy D ploughs under S.M.I.D.S.Y. and attempts to feed Kody to Killalot instead. S.M.I.D.S.Y. struggles, so Hexy D turns into the wall and flips - leaving S.M.I.D.S.Y. propped against the wall, jaws jutting off into space. Kody fiddle frantically with his controls and Refbot rolls into view, counter at the ready as Dylan decides to let sleeping bots lie...
1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10!
At least until the countdown's over.
FLIP!
S.M.I.D.S.Y. somersaults over the fence and out of the rumble! Sorry, Mate! Should've Seen That Coming!

(Cont. below because new character limit is a sod. )

[steven_mcg]

Meanwhile, Son of Whyachi hasn't been very active since hammering Hexadecimator - that's because Tornado leapt in before it could spin up proper again and has been shunting the shuffler every which way it can! Now Tornado pushes it to the top of the warzone, where Mortis decides to join the fun. Hexy D follows shortly after, though much slower than before. Taking advantage, Tornado swaps dance partners and outmanouevres Hexy D to start slamming it against the western wall.
Mortis, instead, tries to tangle its lifter up in Whyachi's cage, but the Battlebot quickly gets free and starts to spin up. Mortis stays on its tail and takes a couple of less powerful blows as the cage tries to reach lethal speed. Which each blow, however, Whyachi knows it further away, letting the hammers get faster and faster.
They're certainly getting faster than Hexadecimator, anyway, because Dylan can't seem to get away from Tornado's relentless onslaught of blows. In fact, it can't seem to get anywhere at all anymore! Andy seems to realise this too and so Tornado finally backs off, allowing Refbot to take its place.
1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10!
Three down, three to go and time is ticking down. Playzooki in particular seems anxious as Son of Whyachi starts sprinting towards its remaining foes, hammers a blur. Mortis tries to shove Tornado into the line of fire, but Tornado gets there first...
CRRRASH!
Mortis goes flying and Tornado goes straight for Whyachi, halting the slowed blades altogether! The Son is definitely a hefty horror, but the grip of those shuffling pads just can't top that of the former RW champ. Slowly but surely Tornado sends Whyachi back into Dead Metal's claws, just as a rather bruised and scuffed Mortis returns to reign down some hammer blows in their general direction. Tornado gets a couple of pangs in the polycarb' but Andy flees before anything worse can be inflicted. Playzooki tries to join him, but finds Son of Whyachi once again struggling to escape Dead Metal's saw blade.
Tornado returns to the arena centre, closely followed by Mortis. The two RW bots size each other up and it's Mortis who lands the first blow this time, clipping Tornado and nearly managing to tip it over. Andy quickly recovers, however, and starts nibbling at Mortis' sides with the spinning drum. Alex attempts to fight back, but it's hard to do when you're being shoved all over the shop. Andy does his best to aim for the Pit, but no such luck. Not yet anyway.
Speaking of bad luck, it looks as though Son of Whyachi is once again away from the CPZ and the hammers are already whirring like nobody's business. Spying another opportunity, Andy pushes Mortis in Whyachi's general direction...
CRRRASH!
And there he goes again! Mortis is damn near catapulted across the warzone on contact with the cage and Tornado is already galloping back in its general direction. Alex is finding it hard to brace himself, however, as Mortis' tracks don't seem to be terribly responsive. That last blow must have shaken the innards something fierce, as Tornado has little trouble avoiding the weapon synergy and slamming Mortis against the fence.
Tornado keeps this up until Son of Whyachi waddles back over to play some more. Andy deftly dodges the cage, but the now sluggish Mortis is less lucky.
CRRRASH!
Mortis bounces off the fence and spins like a top before ceasing movement altogether. Refbot drifts over to check for himself, but Playzooki decides to make it official.
CRRRASH!
Well, if Mortis wasn't dead before, it sure looks like it now. Alex can't get either track to respond; all he can do is raise the lifter and hammer the ground in frustration as Refbot begins the countdown...
1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10!
And on that note...
10...9...8...7...
Son of Whyachi turns its attention to Tornado, but Andy knows better than to try anything funny now.
6...5...4...
Tornado easily outruns Whyachi and begins a (premature?) victory lap around the ring, while Playzooki shows off Whyachi's softshoe shuffle.
3...2...1...

CEASE!

Well. That was an opening fight.

Four robots have bitten the dust, but two are still hungry for something a little sweeter. With both teams keen to taste victory, it's time to ask the Judge who gets the first table at the Grand Finale buffet.
...
It's teatime right now, OK?

SON OF WHYACHI
DAMAGE: 5 /5 (KO'd Mortis, wounded Hexy D and scuffed up several others. Brutal.)
AGGRESION: 3 / 5 (Often on the offensive, but just as often overpowered or outran)
STRATEGY: 3 / 5 (Did get to focus on Hexy D and Mortis, but couldn't avoid being slammed about)
CONTROL: 3 / 5 (Did well when given breathing space; less so in pile-ups and CPZs)
TOTAL = 14 / 20

TORNADO
DAMAGE: 4 / 5 (The drum did some nice slices 'n' dices, but the KO of Hexy D saves it here)
AGGRESSION: 5 / 5 (Constantly on everybody's case)
STRATEGY: 5 / 5 (Did well feeding other bots to Whyachi - and even better feeding Whyachi to everyone else!)
CONTROL: 4 / 5 (Steady throughout, save the odd flip and axe blow)
TOTAL = 18 / 20

It was a fun brawl, but it's Son of Whyachi who lets the family down!

TORNADO GOES THROUGH TO THE FINAL!

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LATER ON:
ELIMINATOR 2
Breaker Box VS Granny's Revenge 2 VS The Mousetrap VS Pussycat VS Redrum VS Sump Thing
HOUSE ROBOTS: Growler & Shunt

No time limit for tactics as before. Just remember that the sooner you get them in, the sooner I can get started again!

Thank you.

[kodster]

Poor SMIDSY.

Never mind, well done Tornado.

[GF93]

Have added my tactics on ARC. Just in case, I'll put them here as well.

So that's my cue? Excellent. I've got a pretty decent lineup here, looks like Breaker Box and Redrum are going to be the main ones to watch out for- nothing good old Pussycat can't handle, though.

Strategy
What I hope to do is to fight a tactical but aggressive battle throughout. Early on, I shall focus on using my patented Pussycat blades (It's the Series 7 version, so I've got the two parallel ones.) to deal damage to the less effective machines (Sumpthing, Granny's Revenge and Mousetrap.) whilst keeping out of the way of the stronger ones (Breaker Box and Redrum.) for the time being. Focus on using my superior agility to be aggressive and unpredictable, attacking any weak spots such as the sides and weapon mechanisms and manoeuvring them towards hazards if I'm in a good enough position to do so.

When going for Breaker Box and Redrum, try not to take them head-on, especially in the case of the latter. Again, go for the sides and any other vulnerable spots, such as weapon mechanisms, but try to be more opportunistic and get them whilst they're distracted or otherwise unable to attack immediately. Redrum's turning in particular has to be very slow so it doesn't lift itself up gyroscopically- so when it tries to manoeuvre, that's the time to strike.
In terms of defence, keep constantly moving and unpredictable the whole time, keep my back particularly well-defended, and keep a good berth of the hazards if I'm not in a position to take opponents to them myself. My thick armour grants me good protection, but focus more on using my agility to avoid attacks and getting pushed rather than soaking them up. Good luck!

[majinb]

[22:51:53] Martijn: ermz
[22:52:01] Martijn: trap things that I can easilly get under :P
[22:52:04] Martijn: and to the hazards!

[steven_mcg]

A fight update in less than ten months? Saints be praised!

THE REAL ROBOT RUMBLE
ELIMINATOR 2
BREAKER BOX Vs GRANNY'S REVENGE 2 Vs THE MOUSETRAP Vs PUSSYCAT Vs REDRUM Vs SUMP THING

FROM BRADENTON, IN FLORIDA, BREAKER BOX!
GUEST DRIVER: Alex MacWilliams
"Breaker one-nine, the parking lot is chock fulla GI Joes an' cattle wagons. Time to put the hammer down, signal-7 these turkeys an' get this place clean an' green, over."
And if you thought that CB slang was inpenetrable, Breaker Box here was specifically designed to withstand the best spinners in the business. It's powerful, invertible and wrapped up tight in thick titanium. The lifting, flipping scoop can get under almost anything, but it's not as useful upside-down and if anyone manages to break the dangerously exposed wheels, they may just break the box into the bargain!

FROM READING, GRANNY'S REVENGE 2!
GUEST DRIVER: Playzooki
Who says only young robots can kick bottom? Whoever they are, Granny's back on her moped and ready to teach all those young whippersnappers a lesson in pain! The old dear is armed with a horrible hatchet and with the modifications made to her scooter, she's not only surprisingly manoueverable for her age, but a lot faster than you'd think at first glance. She is also top-heavy, flammable, weak in her axe arm and nearly 40kg lighter than the rest of the pack. I'll put the care home on standby, love, just in case.

FROM OXFORD & BRISTOL, THE MOUSETRAP!
GUEST DRIVER: Martijn Benschop
An unlikely Heat winner in Robot Wars of old, the Mousetrap is hoping to snap up another victory here in the Rumble. It's your usual wedge, but with a most unusual weapon - an arcing guillotine blade powered by carbon dioxide, designed to slice and ensnare unwary robo-rodents. Combined with good pushing power, the titular trap is an effective device, but it's not powerful enough to for self-righting and with questionable armour - including wood - this Mousetrap should hope the rats don't bite back hard!

FROM REDDITCH, IN WORCESTERSHIRE, PUSSYCAT!
GUEST DRIVER: Alex Valentine
Now, from rats to cats and one of the most successful RW bots ever. The pyramid-like Pussycat more than lives up to its name, as its four big wheels allow it to run any way up it wants. Throw in high top speeds, excellent manoueverability and a custom saw blade able to tear even the great Razer to shreds and you've got a kitten who's very hard to declaw. Pussycat may look the cat's pyjamas now, but the wheels are exposed to the elements and one good flip with that high ground clearance could put the cat out for the night!

FROM MALDEN, IN MASSACHUSETTS, REDRUM!
GUEST DRIVER: Mystic2000
You don't need a mirror to see that Redrum has murder on its mind. The whole machine can be best described as a weapon with a robot at the back - specifically, a hefty vertical spinning drum in bright blood red with armoured sides and a defensive wedge at the rear. The spinner is fearsome, to be sure, and the invertible frame mean it can even run upside-down. This does leave the wheels open to overhead attacks, of course, and the robot can get pretty unstable when the drum reaches top speed. Will Redrum get Sllabeulb?

FROM LEICESTER, SUMP THING!
GUEST DRIVER: Nick Fisher
Sump-thing wicked this way comes...
Deliberately designed to be as low-tech as possible, Sump Thing is the epitome of grunge engineering. The bot itself may look like a scrapheap on wheels, but amongst that mess of metal lies a ramming wedge, a pair of ramming/lifting forks and a rather nasty-looking axe blade. Sump Thing is a speedy little shambles and the spherical wheels provide some very good handling, but they are easy targets for more powerful machine and with no reliable srimech, this could be a case of "Sump Thing for nothing!"

HOUSE ROBOTS: Growler & Shunt

Roboteers, stand by...

(No, really. Stand by. Post's too long. Actual fight's in the next one. Bleh. )

[steven_mcg]

3...2...1...
ACTIVATE!

Breaker Box and Pussycat are the first to leap into action; the Cat makes a beeline for Sump Thing, while the Box causes a head-on collision with Granny's Revenge! Granny stays upright but only just. In fact, she barely has time to pop her teeth back in when the Mousetrap tries to trundle under her scooter. Granny swerves violently away and turns to rejoin the fray...just as Redrum comes storming into view.
CRRRASH!
Granny's fallen, and she can't get up! The scooter isn't looking too good either, especially once Redrum comes in to slice away at the underbelly. Poor Granny's ride is becoming a wreck and Refbot's barely started the countdown yet!
1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10!
Never mind, Granny, dear. Shunt will help you up...straight onto the Flame Pit, it seems. Oh dear. At least Granny won't have to worry about her heating bills this winter.
As Redrum lets the House Robot take over, Mr Mystic turns his attention to Sump Thing. It and Pussycat have been going at it like cats and junkyard dogs, trying to outmanoeuvre each other. Sump Thing is doing well to keep up with the kitty, but Pussycat's blade is proving too powerful to stop bits and pieces being chipped from its scrapheap of a shell.
CRRRASH!
At least it was until Redrum and Breaker Box roll into town! Redrum slaps one of Sump Thing's wheels, flicking almost the entire bot off the ground, while Breaker Box thunders into Pussycat and sends the former RW Finalist tumbling away from the fray. Alex V quickly rights the kitty, but not before the Mousetrap sneaks over and nearly snags the 'Cat completely with its guillotine.
Which is better for catching mice - pussycats or mousetraps? There's only one way to settle this...
FIIIIIIGHT!
CRRRASH!
Oh 'eck, forget that! Sump Thing is still being ganged up on by Redrum and Breaker Box, with the Box hitting the Thing at full pelt and smashing it into the southern wall with the force of a steam train! Sump Thing is naturally quite confused, but only manages a glancing blow with the axe before Breaker Box starts shoving it again, this time towards Growler's CPZ. The Hound of the House Robots opens its jaws wide as Sump Thing is cornered completely and bites down on one of the spherical wheels. Best get out of there soon, Nick. Growler eats bots like you for breakfast - literally!
Breaker Box isn't full, however, as it presses the Pit Release before rocketing back to the others for more. It finds Pussycat and Mousetrap still at each other's throats, but is intercepted by Redrum before it can join the fray.
CRRRASH!
The sparks fly - and so does Redrum for a moment - but Breaker Box stays strong and hammers the spinning machine into the nearest wall for good measure! Alex Mac enjoys it so much, in fact, that he decides to keep on doing it again and again. Unoriginal, maybe, but effective.
Meanwhile, Sump Thing has finally slithered out of Growler's grasp and hobbles somewhat back to the arena centre, where Pussycat and Mousetrap's duel continues. Pussycat has proven too nimble for Martijn to effectively catch and Alex V has already put some nasty cuts in the Mousetrap's sides. The arrival of Sump Thing changes things up a bit, though, as Nick catches the 'Cat side-on and shoves the RW All-Star up the Mousetrap's wedge. Marti snaps the 'trap and the 'Cat is caught! Alex V isn't going down without a fight, however. Pussycat wriggles and writhes under the guillotine and - is that splinters I see flying about? Maybe an office table wasn't the best protection for a 3500rpm saw blade, no?
Mousetrap dumps Pussycat into Shunt's CPZ, but he's still busy showing Granny a bad time (Did you know mobility scooters were made of biscuits and tinfoil? They are if you're a House Robot). In spite of Marti's best efforts, Pussycat tumbles out of the guillotine's grasp and runs away to nibble at Sump Thing's wheels for revenge. Marti joins them soon after, just before Shunt decides to take Mousetrap on instead.
CRRRASH!
And there goes Redrum into another wall. Alex Mac seems to know how nasty that drum is and isn't letting an opportunity to keep it stopped go to waste. Breaker Box smacks its fellow American against the fence until Mr Mystic spies an opening and darts out of the Box's way. Redrum rejoins the Brits, who appear to be in a total free-for-all in the middle of the warzone. Mousetrap is trying to grab Pussycat, Pussycat is slashing Sump Thing...
CRRRASH!
And Sump Thing is getting battered by Redrum again. A second, less powerful blow knocks the entire robot aside, as Breaker Box rockets over and 'breaks' up the whole melee (Har. Har.). Alex Mac spins around for another charge and manages to smack the slower Mousetrap across its wooden face. It would have gone for Sump Thing, but the living scrapheap barely appears to be moving at all. It looks as though all that damage has finally taken its toll.
Not about to let Redrum get another KO, Breaker Box slips speedily under Mousetrap's side and topples the 'Trap with one swift lift of the scoop! Marti tries to self-right, but the guillotine simply doesn't have the guile. Refbot analyses the situation as Breaker Box speeds off to rejoin the others. Sump Thing may have fallen first, but they're both getting the count-out now.
1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10!
Aaaand Granny's just lost her head. Couldn't leave her alone, could you, Shunt? Young bulldozers today have no respect for their elders!
Speaking of youthful rebellion, it seems as though our angry young Americans are teaming up on the more experienced Brit! Redrum has already landing a couple of strong blows on Pussycat in the last few moments and now Breaker Box has slammed the RW Finalist right the way across the arena head-first into a wall! The 'Cat lands on its feet and dodges another ram, before turning its attention back to Redrum. Both are light on their wheels, but Redrum's unbalancing act gives Pussycat the upper paw. Alex V focuses his attention Redrum's sides and manages to carve a few good slices in with the saw; that is until Breaker Box arrives back on the scene.
CRRRASH!
Both bots get flung aside in the collision, but it's Pussycat that Alex Mac has his eyes set on now. Breaker Box clips the 'Cat as it scrambles to get out of the way and turns in time to force the feline face-first into the fence, just shy of the Pit Release! Pussycat is toppled onto its side and desperately tries to self-right, but Breaker Box is already back on its tail. Alex Mac pours on the power and, with one shove, sends Pussycat sliding into the Pit like an air hockey puck! So much for nine lives, eh?
Thus only the Americans remain. Redrum's barrel is already at top velocity as Breaker Box rockets over, but once again Mr Mystic is finding it hard to outmanoeuvre his foe. Breaker Box slides under Redrum's side and slams the spinner into the southwest CPZ! Mr Mystic gasps as Redrum bounces away. He seemed convinced he was going straight over the fence!
Alex Mac, though, apparently has other plans. Redrum is barely out of the CPZ when Breaker Box is back on its, well, back and shoves it into the Pit Release. You know, pressing the Button again won't make the Pit go any deeper, Mr MacWilliams. Alex doesn't seem to need it anyway - a couple of fancy twirls, a gentle tip of the scoop, one particularly powerful ram and Redrum is down the hole right alongside Pussycat! Do you know what "nwod dna tuo" is backwards, boys and girls?

CEASE!

BREAKER BOX GOES THROUGH TO THE FINAL!

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LATER ON:
ELIMINATOR 3
Biohazard Vs Firestorm 5 Vs Fluffy Vs Panic Attack 24K Vs Tough as Nails Vs Vlad the Impaler II
HOUSE ROBOTS: Matilda & Sgt. Bash

As usual, tactics in just whenever you can. Apologies if some of them weren't followed too accurately last time. That was my first time writing battles in nearly a year, especially a fight of that size. It was tricky stuff keeping track of everything, even with notes and annotations. Maybe I'm just getting on in my old age.

Hey ho. Five to go.

Thank you.

[alex_holt]

My utterly inane tactics are to just push anyone I can into any hazard I can. Go for biohazard first on the basis of being broadly similar to me.

[andrewj]

Biohazard vs. Firestorm V vs. Fluffy vs. Panic Attack 24k vs. Tough as Nails vs. Vlad the Impaler II

The only robot that really concerns me in this battle is Fluffy, and since Fluffy is planning to stay away from me too, I suggest that we team up. Like I did with Tornado earlier, my plan here will be to clamp opposing robots and feed them to Fluffy or Matilda to cause damage. The lifters and flippers shouldn't cause me too many problems and Fluffy should have a hard time damaging the claws too. When it's time to dispose of Fluffy, well, we know what happened to Disc-O-Inferno...

[steven_mcg]

Third time's the charm.

THE REAL ROBOT RUMBLE
ELIMINATOR 3
BIOHAZARD Vs FIRESTORM 5 Vs FLUFFY Vs PANIC ATTACK 24K Vs TOUGH AS NAILS Vs VLAD THE IMPALER II

FROM BELMONT, IN CALIFORNIA, BIOHAZARD!
GUEST DRIVER: Philip Bergman
There's nothing toxic about this robot's reputation. With four Battlebots titles under its belt, it's one of the most successful machines in all robotic combat. It's also one of the lowest, with a floor-hugging box frame housing a lifting arm that can both flip and push. The skirting and thick armour have made Biohazard nigh-on impenetrable in the past, but more recent spinners have shown the Battlebots champ's age and those skirts actually prevent it from self-righting properly. Does Biohazard still have that special chemistry?

FROM DURHAM, FIRESTORM 5!
GUEST DRIVER: Alex Valentine
Always the bridesmaid, never the bride! This nimble wedge has three Robot Wars bronze medals to its name, but aims to go for gold in the Rumble. The forward-hinged flipper may not seem powerful, but tell that to the robots it's rolled right over the arena fence! Firestorm also has some of the tightest handling in the warzone and the front blade can get under almost anything. It's not the best in a pushing match, though, and with armour smashed by everyone from Razer to Hypno Disc, Firestorm's hopes could turn to ashes.

FROM ENFIELD, IN MIDDLESEX, FLUFFY!
GUEST DRIVER: Dylan McCarthy
A rogue by any other name...would kick as much bot! Despite limited success in UK wars, Fluffy remains a fast and fearsome foe whose horizontal spinning axes capable of speeds up to 2000rpm. The polycarbonate and steel armour may not be soft to the touch, but they are very strong and the heptagonal frame can run either way up. This does leave the wheels exposed, however, and with a history of reliability problems behind it, Fluffy's future could look pretty fuzzy.

FROM CWMBRAN, IN GWENT, PANIC ATTACK 24K!
GUEST DRIVER: Alex Holt
Don't panic! This former British champion may squash you like a spider, but at least it won't pull your legs off first! Panic Attack is famed for its great pushing power and lifting forks and this particular version has even bigger fangs, an even lower frame, six wheel drive and skirting on all sides. It's especially strong in shoving matches, but it's also rather sluggish and with no self-righting mechanism on this model, one good flip could leave the Welsh warrior in a right panic!

FROM HAARLEM, IN THE NETHERLANDS, TOUGH AS NAILS!
GUEST DRIVER: Andrew Jackson
A confident boast, and not an unwarranted one. This pair of pliers on wheels has seen great success in both Dutch and British contests and is hoping to TAN a few more hides here in the Rumble. The horizontal arms can clamp and crush opponents with ease, while the Hardox armour plating is tough as, well, nails. The huge wheels give Tough as Nails good traction and can let the bot run upside-down too, but they're completed unprotected from the elements and let's just see how tough it is once the CO2 for the jaws runs out...

FROM OAKLAND, IN CALIFORNIA, VLAD THE IMPALER II!
GUEST DRIVER: Josh Noel
The two-time Battlebots champ is back - and he vonts to suck your battery fluid! Blah! While somewhat flatter than before, Vlad II is still a bulky box with a flipping plate, both of which can now run either way up. It's also swift as a bat with almost supernatural top speeds and has enough torque to bulldoze entire armies with ease. Vlad is a warlord through and through, but it can be a bit too fast for its own good and a well-aimed stake through the wheels could send things from Vlad Tepes to Vlad tepid!

HOUSE ROBOTS: Matilda & Sgt. Bash

Roboteers, stand by...
3...2...1...
ACTIVATE!

And immediately Vlad the Impaler II is on the run and slams straight into Firestorm 5, knocking the wedge clear aside! Alex V doesn't feel keen taking on Vlad this early in the procedings, however, and turns his attention to Panic Attack 24K, who is attempting to sneak its way underneath Biohazard. The two compact cuboids size each other up, looking rather like the Marx Brothers in a "fake mirror" skit. Biohazard soon takes a proper jab at Panic Attack and nearly tipples the Brit bot over with a flip on a skirt corner. Alex H stays upright this time and repays Phil in kind by charging Biohazard's own skirt corners. Panic Attack can't quite get the forks in underneath yet, but it can still engage the American in a sumo match and nobody does sumo quite like Panic Attack - just ask Shunt!
CRRRASH!
Ooh, never mind Shunt! Here comes Fluffy with a side-on slash on Panic Attack! The spinning axes have buckled one of the side-skirts almost immediately and now here comes Firestorm to join in the fun! Panic Attack is very popular today - or unpopular, depending on your point of view. Firestorm ploughs under the Welsh warrior, but fires the flipper too late for a full throw. Panic Attack stays upright again, only to take a flipping from Biohazard instead. This time, the whole bot nearly goes over, saved only by gravity or perhaps divine luck. Alex H tries to knock the two flippers away to give himself some space, but he's not quick enough to knock Fluffy back...
CRRRASH!
The already weakened skirt has now been virtually split in two and poor old Panic Attack is beginning to look a very sorry sight. It does still manage to shove Biohazard into the angle grinders (or rather, under them), but can't stop another attack from Firestorm and now the stars align for Alex V. Firestorm dives under, the flipper goes up and Panic Attack goes over. As Alex V flees an oncoming Fluffy and Biohazard nudges his bot aside, Alex H can only watch as the former UK champion is counted out by the Refbot...
1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10!
By the way, if you're wondering about what's happened to Tough as Nails, don't worry yet. Andy has spent most of the match so far in something of a contest of strength with Vlad II. Neither he nor Josh have any specific bots they want to take on in a hurry and so have decided to have a go at each other. It seemed as though the Impaler was on top at first, using its ridiculous speeds to hit-and-run the nutcracker-on-wheels, but it wasn't long before Tough as Nails turned the right way at the right time and got a hold on the two-time Battlebots champion. Josh tried to flip his way free, but the jaws had too tight a grip already and so the pushing match begins. Tough as Nails starts off strong; with Vlad II at something of an angle, it was that much easier to dig in its wheels and manouevre the Battlebot towards the nearest CPZ. Matilda is already presenting herself for Vlad II by the time Tough as Nails shoves it into the corner...
CRRRASH!
And sends the Impaler tumbling back over the Dutch machine with her flywheel! Vlad's still alive, if rather bruised, and has just enough wits left over to avoid an attack from Fluffy. Dylan's decided that Vlad is next on the menu and takes a charge at the Battlebot, nearly flying into Tough as Nails' jaws in the process! Lucky for Dylan that Andy wants to keep him around a while longer and instead tries to clamp Vlad a second time. He comes close, but the Impaler's speed allows it to escape the arms and even get under one of them. The flipping plate doesn't throw Tough as Nails completely over, but one supercharged ram completes the job and slams the Dutch machine into the northern wall! Now it's TAN's turn to get a tanning as Vlad the Impaler begins beating on the mobile pliers! Mind that Fluffy, Josh!
CRRRASH!
Oh, well. Never mind. Vlad's back plate is scarred, but in one piece. Unfortunately, it now also has Biohazard and Firestorm to contend with, as the two bring their own little tussle further up the arena. Not much has happened with their own duel so far; Firestorm has largely avoided getting caught by the flipping arm and Biohazard has kept mobile enough to prevent Firestorm attacking the skirt corners. Now, however, Phil is quite keen to leave Firestorm behind and take a turn trouncing Tough as Nails instead. The Battlebot meets the Dutch machine just as it trundles away from the wall and just manages to roll it over with the flipping arm. This gives Vlad II ample time to get underneath and plough Tough as Nails into Matilda's CPZ instead. This time, though, Matilda is caught unprepared and Tough as Nails is able to drive over Biohazard and away to safety.
Andy isn't safe for long, however, Vlad II comes back in on the attack, ramming Tough as Nails down near the Flame Pit. Fluffy and Biohazard follow in hot pursuit, but Firestorm swoops in on Biohazard and nearly manages to penetrate those side-skirts. A flick of the arm knocks Firestorm away and Biohazard keeps going, catching up to Fluffy as Tough as Nails and Vlad wrestle over the flames. The Dutch machine gets another grip on the Battlebot, just as Fluffy darts in for a well-timed blow on the Battlebot...

(We interrupt this battle to bring you more of this battle. Bleh.)

[steven_mcg]

CRRRASH!
This time the side panels get scratched and is that a small crack, I see? Josh certainly hopes not, as he tries to wriggle out of the grip of Tough as Nails. Now it's Andy's turn to get a thumping, however, as Biohazard steps forward and gets under both machines at once! The arm goes up, but the two bots together are too awkard to go over! Vlad slams Tough as Nails into the wall as Biohazard tries another assault, only to find itself caught in a pincer movement by Firestorm and Fluffy! Firestorm dives in from the rear, almost getting right underneath, while Fluffy comes in from the side...
CRRRASH!
A skirt is buckled, but not broken! Phil tries to shake it off and ram the pinned Tough as Nails again, who's now lost its grip on Vlad the Impaler. The two American machines gang up on the Dutch entry, who is now getting flicked about from both sides! Vlad provides the brute force, while Biohazard's arm rolls it over at least once. And here comes Fluffy once again...
CRRRASH!
On Biohazard! Another ugly dent in the skirting as Firestorm shunts Fluffy down the ring and into the nearby empty CPZ! Alex V tries a cheeky flip before shoving Fluffy face-first deep into the corner and running away to concentrate on Biohazard again. The spinner quickly gets into gear and manouevres away before Sgt Bash can show up on the scene. By now, Tough as Nails has finally managed to clamber over the two Americans and give itself some space. Not for long, though, as Firestorm gets in an opportunistic ram on the sides before going back to Biohazard! The two dance about each other briefly while Fluffy tries to attack Vlad again. The Brit manages a glancing blows on the side panels again, but this time Josh is ready. When the impact sends Fluffy twirling, Vlad dives straight at the spinner and slams it into the arena wall! Dylan tries to get away, but Vlad is back in pursuit and shoves Fluffy all the way along the wall, bumping the Pit Release along the way. The siren blares around the ring as Fluffy collides with Sgt. Bash! The House Robot swings angrily around and corners it, trying to nibble on the now-static spinning blade! Dylan panics as the jaws bite in and hurriedly wriggles free with some frantic twitching and yanking, nearly getting a faceful of flame for its troubles as it flees! Good thing it's not really fluffy, eh?
As Fluffy goes on the run, Tough as Nails interrupts the ongoing battle between Biohazard and Firestorm, scooping and clamping the latter with a well-aimed charge. Alex V tries to get Firestorm away, but Biohazard is using this timely interruption to take on both bots at once and starts trying to shove Tough as Nails in the general direction of Fluffy. The arm flicks out, nearly sending Tough as Nails over again, but only succeeds shaking Firestorm loose. Alex V wriggles out from under the arms (with a flip of its own for good measure) and zips away for a broadside attack on a passing Vlad the Impaler! Josh has been trying to pursue Fluffy, who lands another glancing blow on Biohazard in a shower of sparks. Instead, he gets wedged, barged and rolled over completely by Firestorm! The flipping plate is now upside-down, but it can still technically work and it's a wedge not to boot! Vlad II decides to take advantage of its new situation by knocking Firestorm aside and ploughing into Biohazard and Tough as Nails. Biohazard slips away, but Tough as Nails isn't so lucky. Vlad II is too quick for Andy to manouevre properly in time and is now right underneath the Dutch machine. A ram into the southern wall lets Tough as Nails get a quick grasp on Vlad II's rear, but Josh simply throws into reverse and overpowers the ex-FRA European champion into the Pit of Oblivion! Tough luck, tough nut!
Meanwhile, Biohazard and Firestorm are still going at each other, and Fluffy is having a hard time getting a look in. The spinning axes are still working, but not as quickly as before. Come to think of it, Fluffy itself doesn't seem as nimble as it did at the start of this fight. All those bumps and bruises and hard knocks do weigh on a robot so. Dylan is still able to get a few blows in on Biohazard and Firestorm, but it's mostly causing dents and scars now rather than tears, and Biohazard is still the one showing the most damage. Alex V can hear that buckled skirting screaming his name, but the Battlebot is proving a very slippery customer still.
Another assault from Vlad II may change that, however, as Josh sends his chosen machine rocketing up the warzone into his fellow American's side. The lifting plate flicks up; Biohazard jumps a few inches! Did Vlad II catch the skirts? Alex V doesn't care because he now sees an opening. Firestorm barges Biohazard, turns, catches one of the front corners and, aided by another smack from Vlad II, finally finds a way under. Alex V pours on the gas, not wanting to waste this opportunity, and fires the flipper in mid-charge across the arena. Biohazard is flicked up...and topples over onto its back! Phil knows the rear skirt prevents him from self-righting properly, but that doesn't stop him activating the arm over and over again to try. Even the Refbot is slightly bewildered as he trundles in for the countdown.
1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10!
Three down, three remains, but time is ticking away and Fluffy appears to be losing its earlier pep. Vlad II isn't helping matters by dogpiling on the Brit and smacking it against the eastern wall. Alex V is still less keen to face Fluffy's blades and instead ploughs Vlad from behind, shoving it into the currently vacant south-east CPZ. Firestorm flips Vlad over, trying to beach it against the wall, but Vlad escapes unharmed and gives Firestorm a smack for revenge. Fluffy tries to join in the fun too, but only gets a smack from Vlad itself! All three robots are now scrapping together in the one corner, desperately trying to some kind of advantage! All that's missing is the giant dust cloud and the words "POW!" and "WHAM!" overhead! Vlad is playing at being a battering ram, Firestorm is gliding and twirling as best it can to avoid any blows and Fluffy is trying to hit anything in front of it. Unfortunately the blades only manage minor scars to Vlad II's casing and in comes Firestorm to ram and flip Fluffy right over! Alex V senses Fluffy is getting tired and shoves his fellow Brit towards the Pit. Dylan isn't ready to die yet though and spins Fluffy away, just as Vlad II rockets in from behind to try and push Firestorm down instead! Alex V is ready for this, however, and dodges the onslaught, nearly letting Vlad pit itself!
Josh backs the Impaler away, only to receive a side-on assault from Firestorm, who still seems as perky as ever. The Robot Wars bronze medallist slams Vlad into the Pit Release (no extra points for that one, Mr Valentine!) and fires the flipper! The American is nearly beached on the fence, but a charge by Fluffy forces Firestorm to back off! It wasn't quite powerful enough anyway, as Vlad topples back onto its wheels and speeds off again!
10...9...8...7...
Firestorm sets off in pursuit of Vlad, with Fluffy following a bit further behind.
6...5...4...
Vlad turns to charge Firestorm head-on, but the two only glance each other! Fluffy narrowly avoids the oncoming Impaler!
3...2...1...

CEASE!

Crash! Bang! Wallop! What a punch-up!

Three - count 'em - three robots are still in the picture, but only one will have pride of place on the Grand Final mantlepiece. Who'll get cropped out of the frame? Smile and say "Cheese!" for the Judge:

FIRESTORM 5
DAMAGE: 4 / 5 (Caused the least physical damage, but scored the most knockouts)
AGGRESSION: 4 / 5 (Very often on the offensive, rarely on the run for long)
STRATEGY: 5 / 5 (With two KOs and minimal damage suffered, Alex V's detailed planning paid off)
CONTROL: 5 / 5 (Precise throughout. Getting under Panic Attack and Biohazard and dodging Fluffy's blades for so long is proof of that)
TOTAL = 18 / 20

FLUFFY
DAMAGE: 4 / 5 (The most physically dangerous of the three, yet the only one not to deliver a knockout)
AGGRESSION: 4 / 5 (Started strong, but grew weaker as the fight wore on)
STRATEGY: 4 / 5 (Did well to avoid Tough as Nails and focus on its chosen targets when possible)
CONTROL: 3 / 5 (Again, good at the beginning, but its encounter with Bash and gradual weariness soon wore it down)
TOTAL = 15 / 20

VLAD THE IMPALER II
DAMAGE: 4 / 5 (Dealt plenty of painful rams, as well as the KO of Tough as Nails)
AGGRESSION: 5 / 5 (Relentless throughout. Rarely on the backfoot until the very end)
STRATEGY: 4 / 5 (The plan lacked focus, but hey, it worked. Very well, too.)
CONTROL: 4 / 5 (Steady for the most part, even if it hit the walls instead of the robots now and then)
TOTAL = 17 / 20

It's close - painfully close - but there's no more at 'stake' for Vlad and Fluffy. What a hair-raiser!

FIRESTORM 5 GOES THROUGH TO THE FINAL!

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LATER ON:
ELIMINATOR 4
Brutality Vs Chaos 2 Vs Envy Vs King B Powerworks Vs Last Rites Vs Slicer
HOUSE ROBOTS: Cassius Chrome & Mr Psycho

No joke, that was the hardest fight I've had to choose a winner for in several years. No shame to those who missed out on the Final, 'cos damn, them's good bots.

I'm keen to try and keep the rest of the tournament to a semi-regular schedule, so if NWOWWE, GF93, Mystic2000, NFX, Kody and Martijn can get their tactics in over the next week or so, that would be fantastic.

Thank you.

[NFX]

Right, this should be fun. =D

Avoid Brutality and Last Rites, at least until their weapons stop. The others don't seem as worrying, since King B can run either way up, and Slicer's weapon doesn't seem to cause as much damage, often just flipping opponents over. Ideally, I'd want to go after Chaos 2, Envy or the sides of the narrow Slicer, fork them up and feed them into the two big spinners. Chaos 2 in particular, has proven pretty fragile against powerful spinners such as 13 Black, so the US power duo here should take that out of the picture pretty quickly. Plus, the impact should cause some internal damage to the spinners themselves, while I remain relatively okay. Bring the rear blade against Slicer's tracks and see if I can get through them. If not, then give him to the House Robots. Open the Pit release at around this point. Once the two powerful spinners are sufficiently worn down, try to get sawing away at Last Rites' tasty exposed wheels and hopefully immobilize it, or fork it from behind and take it to the House Robots or the Pit. From there, try and get Brutality into the House Robots or the Pit as well. Keep myself going until the end, try not to take damage and control the others as much as I can.

[kodster]

Brutality Vs Chaos 2 Vs Envy Vs King B Powerworks Vs Last Rites Vs Slicer

Attack Brutality when it's not spinning. Only then. Stay away from it when it's spinning, and attack Envy first and foremost, then switch to King B and then Chaos 2, in that order. Slicer seems relatively ineffective so ignore him unless he and Brutality (or just Slicer) are the only other ones still alive. If I'm being ganged up on, put my back against the wall and make sure they can't get at my rear, and defend my sides.

Good luck everyone.

[majinb]

hit and run! go in, drum, go out, just hit things with the drum really, preferably from angles that keep me safe from any weaponry that might harm me

If I can get a clear shot in on something with the wedge that takes something somewhere hazardous (houserobots, arena hazards, whatever), take it!