Another start, another tournament. Let's get it on!
Looks like the quickest in this fight is Dantomkia, surprisingly, who jettisons near the sides of The Servant's Assistant and attempts to flip them over! But Lian isn't as defeated as that. With a burst of speed from the box-wedge, suddenly Dantomkia finds its prey gone and it stops quizzically. Where's The Servant? Right there! They backed up and let Dantomkia drive directly in front of them! Servant's mean, inn'ee?
But not nearly as mean as the resulting flip, which sends Dantomkia tumbling across the arena! And who else to get flung into than our fellow American entrant? With a sickening CRUNCH, Revolver Ocelot gets its first hit of the fight by shearing into the front corner of Dantomkia, sending Mike Lambert's newest darling twirling about like an old vinyl record! Revolver indeed! Dantomkia gets nailed again as they spin, and this time there's a noticeable dent in that Hardox shell! Dantomkia isn't going to take that lying down, though, and shrugging off a glancing third hit, they get under Revolver Ocelot and flip the black beast onto its back! And there's another flip! Ocelot could be in trouble! Oho, could the tables turn here?! The momentarily forgotten former champion says NO! Psychosis, up to full speed now, charges into Dantomkia's backside and delivers all those lovely 75 kilojoules of energy into that Hardox shell; Dantomkia is shot into the side wall! But Psychosis didn't fare much better in terms of displacement; they got sent back several feet too! Servant capitalizes on the ex-champ's stunned state, moving straight in between the hammers into the main body, and flicking Psychosis into the air! The durable ring spinner nonetheless falls with a CRASH and Servant keeps with him, making sure he can't spin up at all! Away they go to the hammer corner! And as the pulverizer awaits its delicious offering of metal, Revolver Ocelot is trying to claw one back for the spinners here, and it's doing a good job of it so far as that bar continues to smack Dantomkia away, denting the front corners up more and more after each hit, and the team under captain Mike Lambert look displeased. Oho, there's a particularly savage hit and Dantomkia has pretty visible damage by now... but what's this? They've charged back in?! Oh no! Ocelot's bar stops demolishing! They're flipped again! The flipper of Dantomkia is cleverly tucked because the two wedge points, so it's not like Revolver Ocelot can rip it off, and boy has that benefitted the Dantomkia boys! There's another flip, and they're approaching our newest addition to the house robot family: Teresa, the nun who's very cross! It seems Josh Noel of Team Blood Gulch has a bad history with the house robot - how could that be? Why, he looks more like a raging Scotsman than an American at the moment! But they reach the CPZ anyway, and Teresa snags Ocelot. Dantomkia isn't done, though! There's another flip before Teresa can react, and Ocelot goes flying over the house robot! While Mike Lambert is having his fun, the pulverizer has been beating a resounding beat into the top armour of Psychosis, each hit making a resounding THUD, but hardly phasing the spinning monster. The Servant's Assistant keeps him there... watch out, Lian! Remember what happened to Killer B! Servant backs off, but adds a flip as a parting shot. Psychosis gets a hammer momentarily caught up on the pulverizer's axle stand, sparking a scare within Andrew Jackson, but a stray hammer hit dislodges the ex-champ. The problem with that is... Servant's able to immediately attack again! Wow! Psychosis continues to ingest more hammer torture! Lian Walsh is enjoying this wholeheartedly, and shares a joke with his teammates, while Andy is trying everything he can to try and get Psychosis to escape this with some kind of dignity... and escape he does! Another stray hammer hit has knocked the cylindrical terror away from Servant's grasp! Lian tears his eyes back to the match and Servant chases Psychosis down, but Psychosis is up to a respectable enough RPM to bounce into Servant's corner and send them both flying, and now Psychosis begins to really get spun up! The pulverizer hits have only served to make the former champion mad as hell, and he's not gonna take it anymore! Servant blazes in like a freight train, but a deft slide to the side allows Psychosis to get in a major shot! And Servant, getting flung away like a ragdoll, takes some heavy damage here, as an entire front panel, just beside the flipper, has been flung off entirely, exposing the mechanics within! Psychosis must have invoked the spirit of Son of Whyachi; tearing off titanium panels was the shuffler's strategy!
Servant approaches more cautiously, pretending the facial damage was but superficial. Psychosis sticks and moves, not allowing Servant to get a clear shot. Eventually, though, Lian has to bite the bullet if he wants anything done, here, and charges Psychosis! But sadly, that was just what the Shropshire spinner was expecting! Another corner hit dislodges the side panel somewhat and sends Servant skittering across the arena......to crash into the back of Dantomkia! At last, the two battles have merged! Dantomkia turns about as Ocelot languishes, stuck behind Teresa, and gets under The Servant's Assistant! Using its improved flipping arm, it launches Servant into the air, who crashes upside-down. Lian quickly self-rights, but not quick enough! Psychosis, though moving slower than usual, has made tracks on him and now belts out another heavy blow, smacking Servant into the side of the house robot not too far away! Teresa gets under Servant and shoves him away, allowing Ocelot to finally make his escape! Dantomkia, however, isn't having any of that, and promptly attacks the American robot again, flipping and propping Ocelot up against the corner, only for Ocelot for fall back down onto it. Dantomkia backs up for a better angle, when Psychosis catches up yet again! Mike Lambert wasn't blind to this, but Dantomkia can't turn in time and they eat a huge shot to the side, which is deadly because they were right next to the wall and are mashed right against it! Teresa is back for more pain dishing, and promptly punches Revolver Ocelot. Josh gets the message and hurries out of there, managing to dodge Psychosis, who's spinning up again. Servant is twitching, but not quite immobile... so Revolver Ocelot takes the cheap shot and buries the bar into their side! Servant gets sent right over the slots! Robotnik, Robotnik... Tails. Aw, poot. No overpowered hazards today, gents.
More importantly, Team Blood Gulch has had the last say on the fate of Servant... unless you count The Watcher moving to make the first count-out of the tournament!1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!
And The Servant's Assistant is the first to go! Asterix is out of his CPZ like a flash, and due to the veteran house robot's enhanced power, he bulldozes into Servant and mashes them so hard against the wall you'd have thought an earthquake just struck!
Dantomkia meanwhile is back in business, getting under the now sluggish Psychosis and tossing it into the air! But Revolver Ocelot comes to the rescue, delivering a hefty shot to the rear of the Lambert machine! Now it's Dantomkia that's sluggish, and now it can't catch up to Psychosis before the ex-champ is back at full deadly RPMs! Ocelot takes another bite out of Dantomkia! This pings him into Psychosis, who pinballs him back into Ocelot! Keeping with the arena theme, are we, boys? Ocelot hasn't had a chance to spin up again so he kind of pushes Dantomkia into Psychosis, and Psychosis wails on Dantomkia with another hit. Dantomkia sails into the side wall... and finally lies still, beat broken and scarred! As Asterix lifts up the remains of Servant, The Watcher sidles over to Dantomkia's prone form and delivers its eulogy...1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!
CEASE!
It was a strong start for the British flippers, but in the end they were torn up and spun out! Bar and cage prevail as Revolver Ocelot and the former champion Psychosis advance to Round 2!
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Next: WhipCoil vs. Flick of the Wrist vs. MiDAS vs. Revenge of Theseus
Over the course of the last 4 tournaments, we've had a nice wave of interesting opponents win the gold! PsycloniZer, Do Or Die, Monsoon Season, and Vertigo all have nice shiny trophies on display in their homes. PsycloniZer is sadly the only one who has returned to reclaim its crown, as Psychosis. The trouble is, there are 23 other machines in his way! And each of them has the bite to match their bark!
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