Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

[majinb]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

SO CLOSE!!!

But you make a valid point Steven, if theres one fight where one can throw a party rather than a bloody onslaught its the 3rd place play-off .

Well launch an assault on the House Fighters for everything they did to us, well hurt them so good that Kody should be looking for new Servants next time he organises a tournament like this. ACTUALLY, we should hurt them so good that Kodyll think twice before starting a tournament like this at all (though you better make another one Kody :wink.

Give us your best shot House Fighters, well take you all if we must!!!

After that, I propose we leave the fictional dimension and take on Kody himself! MUTINY! HIJACK!

Evrywhere I hear the sound of marching, charging feet, boy
Cause summers here and the time is right for fighting
in the street boy
But what can a poor boy do except to sing for a
RockNRoll Band cause in sleepy London Town
Theres just no place for Street Fighting Man!

Hey! Think the time is right for a Palace Revolution
But where I live the game to play is Compromise Solution!
Well then what can a poor boy do except to sing for a
RockNRoll Band cause in sleepy London Town
Theres just no place for Street Fighting Man!!

Hey! Said my name is called Disturbance
Ill shout and scream, Ill kill the King Ill rail at all his servants
Well then what can a poor boy do except to sing for a
RockNRoll Band cause in sleepy London Town
Theres just no place for Street Fighting Man!!

(Message edited by MajinB on November 28, 2007)

[almost_there]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

See? I told you Id turn into Starscream and smash stuff.

[majinb]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Im sorry I doubted your sanity when you came up with that tactic, it was a strategical masterpiece!

[pcbore]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Well yeah. Starscream rules.

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Thought Id get this one up sooner or later.

3RD-PLACE PLAYOFF

PROFESSOR VENGEANCE vs. A STINGRAY

House fighter is The Watcher.

The Professor and the stingray have agreed to battle the house fighters instead of each other. So of course when all they see is The Watcher, looking dark and forlorn in the middle of the stage, they are albeit confused. The Professor breaks the silence by swishing the uber-cane in the air and firing an emerald beam at the statue-like figure in an attempt to stir something up.
The effect is as expected. Every single one of the house fighters clambors over the edge of the arena and comes at the two warriors. Just as they are about to get throttled, Prof. Vengeance says STOP! in a loud voice and they halt for some reason, waiting. Why should we not take you on one-by-one? says Vengeance. Or are you all afraid to be destroyed? With that final taunt the house fighters agree to the challenge. First up is Cortez, the massive pirate king turned into a giant enchanted skeleton. However he is simply dealt with when Prof. Vengeance throws the treasure off of the arena, forcing Cortez to plummet to his doom. The stingray floats around the tank in a victory dance as The Sickness, a giant cloud of infinite disease bacterien, comes in next. He is also dealt with however when Vengeance sets his cane to vacuum mode and sucks the substance up, and then expells it into a vat of alcohol...the stingrays tank, where it is destroyed. Asterix enters the arena next, and wonders who took all the magic potion. It had to be the Gaulish druid Getafix, Asterix groans to himself as a light of emerald energy smashes into his forehead and renders him unconscious. Obelix comes in next, but the Prof. has already modified the genetic material of a turkey and its now roast boar. Obelix bounds towards it but Vengeance throws it over the edge. Obelix turns on him in anger but Vengeance simply tricks him by saying Dont worry, theres a platform there where it landed on. And indeed dull IQ and hunger for roast boar sends Obelix over the edge and to his death. The Big Mac enters next...and is burninated by the Prof. cane, so he cant avenge the bacon sandwich that Vengeance planned to destroy.
Half the fighters are gone, and Hamlet enters the arena to applause. The Prof. sets the cane to sword-mode and engages in a duel with the Danish prince. Hamlet of course is easily overpowered and just when he is about to be skewered proudly claims Being a tragic hero that I am I cannot be slain in a situation such as this. Prof. Vengeance reminds him that this is the ATTTWI where anything can happen, ANYTHING, right before slashing his neck and acclaiming the head as his own. Now its Takis turn, and due to her heightened speed is all over the Prof., slashing with her daggers, before the stingray finally comes to the rescue and leaping onto of the tank slams the ninja in the back of the head with his tail. Taki jars and collapses on her face as Vengeance tosses the stingray back into the tank with a rather appraising look, and now its Tira who is entering the arena. Vengeance scowls, for he knew what happened in the fight with Jack the Ripper. Straight away he drains the phial of blue liquid from before, and immediately rushes towards her, however Tira came prepared this time around. A plot twist suddenly occurs and Tira now has the exact same ability increase as the Prof.. Unfortunately this proves too much for the psychopathic girl to handle and falling down she convulses violently on the ground before laying still as a stone. Vengeance laughs drily, and then immediately shuts up as the vast figure of Ancalagon the Black soars into view. As we all know these kind of dragons hate water and the stingray is somehow able to direct a blast of endless water at the dragons mouth, filling it. The natural gas vapours however devour the intense moisture and swell to a size so great that smoke is literally pouring out of Ancalagons jaws and as he lets forth a giant breath of fire, KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! Ancalagon explodes in a gigantic fireball cloud, incinerating him completely, yet the water supply continues to run forth. Last to enter is the terror-inflicting organism known is Exa-Gore-Ic. It is even bigger than Ancalagon, who was twice the size of the country of the Netherlands, and now hovers above the two competitors looking cold and threatening, not even minding the slightly-weakening jet of liquid that is pouring out of the almost-empty tank, though Vengeance seems not to notice. Vengeance, abilities now heightened, charges through the planetary being in as swift a motion as a star speeding through a universe, though it depends on what universe it is, it is still pretty fast, much faster than the speed of light I can tell you. Exa-Gore-Ic seems to shudder, and for a split-second he actually seems to notice the Prof. Vengeance-shaped hole in the middle of him, and then implodes into nothingless. Vengeance lands back down beside the tank and turns to thank the stingray...only to find a corpse of the stingray splayed across the tank floor. Apparently the lack of oxygen took its toll.

Professor Vengeance takes 3rd place!!!
A stingray takes 4th place!

Next up: The final

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Im going to get this out of the way, NOW, so that I can move to my RPG thread. Melissa has tactics in (through MSN), and Richard...doesnt, though this doesnt matter at all.

Thats right, its the final battle none of you would have guessed at the start of the tournament.

FINAL BATTLE

MING HIGURASHI vs. DIOTOIR

All house fighters particpate in this. You thought only two would be here?! Are you madder than me?!

Ming jumps forward immediately with her bottle of oil and matchsticks but as we all know Diotoir can use plot twists to suit his needs. Just as Ming is about to toss the oil at Diotoir, a said plot twist occurs, and the oil becomes water, which washes all over Diotoir and strangely causes his fur to grow. Then Diotoir charges at Ming, but this is no known Diotoir charge, thanks to some jet engine upgrades and superior handling applications being used to power Diotoir from a random point in the galaxy, which the Diotoir boys somehow nicked. Ming is tackled and falls to the floor, but gets up quickly and striking a match throws it at Diotoir. The result is satisfying in Mings eyes, as Diotoirs fur immediately ignites and the entire robot is on fire within a few seconds. Suddenly the flames go out, and Ming blinks in confusion. Diotoir however planned it perfectly thanks the fire-retardant enclosed fur, and tackles Ming again taunting her. Ming falls down again, but then she decides to play as low as Diotoir. She hauls out a laptop and begins to read a thread called The Wars Incarnate. What is going on? She smiles, turns off the laptop, and begins to chant something in some sort of East Asian-language. Within seconds she has taken the form of a death adder. Diotoir is bewildered, and Ming strikes with deadly precision and acceleration but Diotoir still has the jet upgrades and before Ming can even get halfway to the spot where Diotoir was he drives around and runs right over her. The adder rolls over, apparently dead, as Diotoir gloats, but then suddenly turns into...Thomas the Tank Engine?! Diotoir is surprised by this, but unfortunately for Ming Thomas isnt possessed by the Anti-Christs soul anymore and Diotoir easily smashes it with another charge. Due to another plot twist his fur sets on fire again and Thomas is aflame, and after a few minutes all thats left of Thomas is smouldering remains. Diotoir is sure hes won now and to rid himself of all cares starts to dance; due to his upgrades he spins around at a velocity so high all he can see is a blur, that is until a mechanical claw grips him forcing him to stop. He looks upon a maniacal face of Dr. Ivo Robotnik in his Egg-O-Matic.
Within seconds Diotoir realizes: Ming is using the previous finalists of Alex Holts Wars Incarnate to acquire forms for herself and defeat the Irish bot. Diotoir is actually impressed with this strategy but its not going to stop him from granting Ireland its greatest honour ever. Within seconds he has taken the form of a cat with adamantium claw-upgrades, but Nick comes by and explains to him that adamantium is just fictional piece of metal that doesnt exist. Diotoir mauls Nick and afterwards tells him that this is a fictional tournament, so adamantium can exist. The problem is that nobody knows what its made of and therefore it could be made of anything. Nick gets up and wonders why he was slashed across the face with cotton swabs and leaves the arena. Ming however is switching tactics, and has now taken a form of Firestorm V. Diotoir laughs, because in his new form that metal thing couldnt even touch him. However as we all know in the rules of Robot Wars, heavyweight robots can only fight heavyweight robots and this causes a plot twist in which the cat turns back into Diotoir, and without jet engine upgrades or handling boosters, because the rules state heavyweights robots must be under 100kg and those upgrades would certainly weigh him down considerably. This also means that Diotoirs paradoxes causing him to weigh 25,000kg are also negated, and he reverts to his Series 5 self. Firestorm charges and getting under Diotoir flips him immediately, returning to the form of Ming. Diotoir is in a pitiable state now but silently realizes he has unwittingly hatched a plan. Within seconds the agents of Mentorn Inc. enter the stadium and surround Ming as Diotoir self-rights, shouting all sorts of babble about breaking the rules of roboteering and stuff like that. Ming goes to kill all the agents but they are protected due to the fact that they, sadly, represent a very popular British television production company. The agents start to beat down on Ming but suddenly a group of people enter the arena whom the agents were long doomed to face: all the fans of Robot Wars. The fans string insults at the lawyers and call it unfair justice to remove a program so suddenly from the network because they didnt like it but the lawyers counter-attack with low popularity ratings. Unfortunately this is because they themselves ruined the show and the fans counter-counter-attack using that as a basis. The agents are quite silent as this dawns upon them, moments before they are sucked up by one of Frank Goachers plotholes.
Back to the real fight, Ming and Diotoir have brought their own allies to the party: Mings loyal fans and friends (on the Gaia network) and countless anime characters whom she herself is a fan of, and Diotoir of course brings in all the competitors of Robot Wars of Series 1-7, and of the Roaming Robots competition. Among them is the real Firestorm V. They engage in what is probably the most epic battle yet. However robots can only be controlled by real people, and as the anime characters come to that realization there are only a few of them left because the robots seem so much cooler and deadlier. Ming also realizes this and destroys all the radio controllers that are directing each of the robots, except the Diotoir boys dont seem to be there. Could it be that Diotoir is working on its own? But since Diotoir got stripped of its plot twist-induced abilities this cannot be the case, and Ming at that fateful moment decides to take out Juicy Fruit and chew on a piece. Wherever the Diotoir boys hid is unknown, but they seem to have come forth at last. Peter Redmond asks Ming if she still has some gum on hand. Ming pulls out her small package of Juicy Fruit pieces and gives them to each member of the team. The Diotoir guys share a laugh and prepare to return to their spot...just in time to see Ming lifting up Diotoir and putting it onto its back. Without the members controlling Diotoir it cant self-right, and through an explained plot twist Ming turns into Refbot and starts to count Diotoir out! Peter and the rest of the Diotoir race back towards one of their favourite cafes in Dublin but its too late!
1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...
+2>10!
As the number 10 flashes, Ming returns to her original form, smiling widely. Apparently her usage of plot twists has made her an extremely random competitor too. Diotoir lays on its back pathetically and is unable to acknowledge defeat as Ming kicks him off the stage. An announcer somewhere is about to say CEASE, but Kody strangles him before he does so.

Diotoir takes 2nd place!!!

But...

+1>Ming Higurashi wins the ATTTWI!!!!

Hooray.

So...

4th - Stingray
3rd - Professor Vengeance
2nd - Diotoir
1st - MING HIGURASHI

This brings an end to what has been a completely ridiculous tournament that was mind-numbing to write. I guess I will have to do another ATTTWI, eh? Thanks a lot.

Oh, and congratulations, Melissa. Its not quite a gold medal you had in mind, but its something, right? Better luck next time, Richard. I love Diotoir, but I couldnt resist a conclusion like that, it was...gold.

Thus ends the ATTTWI. Thank you for particpating. I hope I havent given you nightmares for the next 6 months, or made you think about my senility status.

To be continued...?

[almost_there]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Its paradoxical that Diotoir lost, therefore Diotoir never existed, so it never lost, so it never didnt exist... so it lost...

*boom*

[majinb]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

+2>Congratulations, Melissa Urbich

Hey look, I found a use for those lame triangles!

[almost_there]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

I admit defeat... but Diotoir is sulking.

[inuangel2007]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Thank you all so much for your support congradulatory remarks. all I have to say is thakns for letting me in on this tounament to begin with and....
I SMOKED ALL YOU NOOBS!!! -evil laughter- YAY ME!!!
Jokes guys... pure jokes. I never thought it would turn out like this. I most of all want to thank Kody for ending the touny with that lovely plot twist in my favour -glomps Kody- THANK YOU!!

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

I was afraid this would happen.

First of all, get off of me, Melissa. Thank you...

And second of all, ATTTWI 2 wont be coming for a little while, especially with my RPG about to get underway. So sorry about that Melissa (and Frank ).

[inuangel2007]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Oh and BTW: Thank you Richard for being such a magnificent opponent for the final match.

[Guest]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Wow, great tournament. Im going to need a cigarette after that.

[almost_there]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

no probs.