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Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI
the stingray fears no man, no man at all!
the stingray fears no man, no man at all!
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Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI
Tactics - Ming Higurashi vs. Dr. Ivo Robotnik
I see that he intends to use magic on me... though he cannot fight what he cannot see, right? So I intend to use Mings speed a an advantage in this round and run circles around those idiot bots. Once those things are gone, still using her speed, I intend to take out his magical help and then him.
Lets see the great Dr. Robotnik deal with that. lol.Comment
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Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI
Diotoirs tactics will be to distract Pee Wee with the polka dot and then use all of Diotoirs 25000 tonnes in weight (variable due to various paradoxes) to flatten Pee Wees feet.
Then Im planning on using Diotoirs auto-combust ability to set him on fire.Comment
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Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI
Round 6
Diotoir vs. Pee-wee Herman
House fighters are Tira and Hamlet.
The Irish bot canters forward with an air of hardly noticing what hes doing. This of course makes him an immediate target for a cigarette lighter that Pee-wee takes out of his pocket and throws at the spotted bot: unfortunately since its not lighted it merely bounces off Diotoir...who erupts into flames. Weird. Pee-wee takes out a bucket of water and pours it on Diotoir, but this makes the flames even bigger. Weirder. Diotoir charges at Pee-wee and tackles him, setting his pants on fire. As Pee-wee drops to the floor to put the fire out Diotoir comes at him again but suddenly due to infinite plot twists gains about 25,000t in weight, thus quelling the fire but rendering him unable to move, yet still the bucket swings up and down happily, so hes not out. Extremely weird. Pee-wee calls in Ernest and Vern for some reason and they start beating Diotoir with rubber wrenches, causing him to erupt in flames again due to rubber burn, and the flames spreading seize hold of Ernest and Vern and burn them to ashes. Pee-wee grabs his empty bucket of water and throws it at Diotoir but again it makes the flames bigger. Hamlet comes forward suddenly and points out to Diotoir that due to all the plot twists used he is disqualified. Tira walks over to Hamlet and begins to argue with him saying that such a rule is ridiculous, and if that rule were real then Pee-wee such be disqualified for having used such abysmal means to try and counter the plot twists. They argue for over three hours while Diotoir and Pee-wee play poker which erupts into more plot twists. Finally the house fighters stop arguing. Tira nods at Hamlet, and then decapitates Pee-wee. Hamlet is stunned and asks her why she did that. Tira tells him that if the battle were allowed to go on, then there would have been more plot twists encountered and possibly even more plotholes which would result in the end of the universe as we know it. Knowing Tira is a little unlearned in her theories Kody decides to spare her and awards Diotoir the match. Frank spontaneously combusts in the audience while Diotoir chews some gum. Weird.
Diotoir advances to the semi-finals!Comment
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Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI
Ming Higurashi vs. Dr. Ivo Robotnik
House fighters are Taki and Cortez.
The combatants meet in the centre of the arena but its Ming who strikes first, slicing Robotniks head off. Then she realizes its a Robotnik clone, and the real Robotnik is busy calling his friend Ixis Naugus in; however Ixis declines, because Robotnik hadnt returned his bath-towel that he took from him 10 years ago. Robotnik knew he should have made a better deal. Ming comes in for another attack but is suddenly swarmed by millions upon millions of SWATbots. Robotnik throws his head back and laughs maniacally. Indeed he is a good laugher, having won the Evil Laugh Award for the past 14 years. Hearing the laugh the SWATbots start to laugh too; the noise nearly blows Mings ears off as she screams and holds her hands over her ears, trying to block out the roar of mirth. Taki does the same but Cortez is unable to withstand this horrible tremor and is torn apart. Robotnik then commands his SWATbots to destroy Ming but finds them all broken and scattered due to their own laughter self-destructing them. Ming gets to her feet, and realizing this is indeed a deadly foe lunges at him with her full fury. Robotnik however calls upon Iluvatar. What is this?! Iluvatar, or Eru the One, descends upon Ming. It seems that Robotnik managed to convince Iluvatar that Manwe had mistaken his intentions completely, and made a pact with him, and Iluvatar agreed to respond to his calls when in dire need. Therefore when Iluvatar sees Ming, without warning he calls down the elements of the earth to crush her, but Ming goes to Iluvatar and holds her hand outward in token of parley. Iluvatar halts his onslaught, puzzled, and bends down to reason with her. Ming tells him that she is from a different universe and that the rules of Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, Valaquenta, and the Silmarillion or any other work by John Reuel Ronald Tolkien dont apply to her. Iluvatar reaches the conclusion that she is enitrely truthful and turns upon Robotnik in wrath. Thou hast not spoken of this before! he booms hotly, and before Robotnik can protest he throws down a mighty bolt of lightning which obliterates Robotnik in a gigantic explosion. Taki is stunned, but Ming offers to buy her a martini and she accepts gratefully. Iluvatar returns to the Void to keep watch on Morgoth, who is now twiddling his thumbs idly. Sauron rolls his eyes.
Ming Higurashi advances to the semi-finals!Comment
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Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI
WOOHOO !! I WON !! I WON !! I WON !! -DOES HAPPY DANCE- C YA DR. IVO ROBOTNIK !! ON TO THE SEMI-FINALS !!
I wish all who come with me to the semis good luck.Comment
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Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI
Well, somebody seems to be taking this very seriously.
Anyway I will get both fights out of the way, preparing for...THE SEMIS!!!
XS3 vs. A stingray
House fighters are Big Mac and The Sickness.
XS3 glares at the stingray in its tank. Perhaps hes a little surprised at the stingray advancing this far, but thats as far as hes about to get, or so XS3 thinks. XS3 lands a solid punch on the frame of the tank and retracts it, amazed that it dident even scratch. The stingray was very lucky that he had connections with Prof. Vengeance whose minions installed shatterproof glass to his already impregnable domain. XS3 glares still more darkly at the stingray and blasts an energy beam at the tank, but the blast is reflected back at XS3 and the wrestler is forced to block it. XS3 comes to the relaization that he must enter the tank to fight the stingray in its domain. He calls upon Hitman of the Gods to deal with the stingray. Hitman gives XS3 a nod and enters the tank, taking the form of a tiger shark from the moprhing ability XS3 gave him who got it from Peter Griffin. But the stingray is not alone either. Suddenly thousands of manta rays, electric eels, and crocodiles with forms of the name Jim enter the tank as well and swarm the tiger shark. XS3 shudders, glad that he didnt enter the tank himself, as Hitman is torn apart by the sea horde. But XS3 isnt giving up yet. He finds a plot twist and suddenly a giant algae-eater who was sleeping near the stingrays lair wakes up, heads towards XS3 and collides with the side of the tank, bursting it open. XS3 jumps up and prepares to blast the stingray into oblivion when he finds that the stingray isnt there. To his horror, he realizes that the stingray used a plot twist too, and has become Mr. Besser from the kids show The Kids In Room 402. XS3 immediately charges at him but Besser smacks the wrestler in the face with a ruler. This just makes XS3 madder and he grabs Besser around the throat. Wasting no time he launches a Rage of the Storm attack at the quivering teacher and there is a massive explosion. When the smoke clears, Besser is gone. XS3 turns and smirks to the crowd, and makes the peace sign with both hands, oblivious to the fact that the stingray used another plot twist to turn itself back into the stingray, and XS3 is taken out with a stinging lash to the back of the head.
A stingray advances to the semi-finals!
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And now, the moment youve all been waiting for.
Lord DoomForAll vs. Professor Vengeance
All house fighters take part in this.
The two mighty behemoths glare at each other, and the mere malice of their gazes is enough to shatter galaxies to infinite sub-particles of matter. Prof. Vengeance grips his cane so tightly the heat friction envelopes the very air around him: he knows what happened last time they met, and so Lord DoomForAll matters not what Prof. Vengeance can do.
All of a sudden...
I say, old bean, you have gotten the better of me for quite some time, says the Prof. I do declare we should find a different means of deciding the winner of this contest. I tire of physical matters.
Lord DoomForAll looks upon him, and replies, Vengeance, I doubt not that you are correct. Fighting endlessly only bores my intelligent mind. Let us settle this over a peaceful contest.
Best two out of three? says Vengeance.
Indeed, answers DoomForAll.
The crowd starts to boo, and then pause, stricken with fear as the two mighty overlords stare down upon them.
First contest: RANDOMNESS.
The crowd sarts to cheer again. This is what the ATTTWI is supposed to be about. The one who makes the most random occurance happen, wins. Lord DoomForAll steps forward, and conjures up a flute made of peanut brittle. He yodels into it, and suddenly Ashlee Simpson appears and starts to part air, resulting in the complete collapse of the Persian Empire, for some reason. This also results in Orions belts middle star supernovaing, and the Eagle Nebula becomes the Cockatoo Nebula, with neon gas arranged in a way that spells: Eat At Joes. Lord DoomForAll bows, and the audience cheers and awaits Prof. Vengeances attempt. Prof. Vengeance holds his cane outright, starts to spin it, and says I AM THE GREATEST TOFU IN THE UNIVERSE! This results in the real greatest tofu in the universe attacking Vengeance, causing tofu sales to plummet, and the downfall of the worlds economy, resulting in the Earth exploding. This throws the entire solar system out of order, and the planets are absorbed into the Sun, who turns into a giant mug of ginger beer which Frank claims as his home planet. Prof. Vengeance fights off the tofu that attacked him and bows. The audience cheers for him too, and now the results that displayed...
Prof. Vengeances score = Pi
Lord DoomForAlls score = OVER NINE THOUSAND!!!!!!
Lord DoomForAll has won the first battle, but now comes the second contest: FASHION.
Prof. Vengeance smiles, but the Lord frowns. Smart dressing is not his forte. The contest starts. We hire God to be our judge.
God: Well Prof. Vengeances outfit strikes me as a little cliche, but none too overrated at all. The hat, though unorthodox, gives an impression of dominance. I love the cane, its eye-candy to the mind. The cape gives that rush, that thrill of the hunt. He was wise to use emerald as a theme, and it has done well for him. Nice showing.
Lord DoomForAlls outfit does not seem overly spectacular to me. It is rather secluded, wishing for silence, and peace. It may have been meant to be dark, or gothic, but that does not earn points here. The rift staff is an awesome touch, wicked and marvelously crfated, but not enough to make up for his lonely demeanour.
Now, the points.
Prof. Vengeance = 1408
Lord DoomForAll = 666
Prof. Vengeance is indeed delighted about this triumph, but Lord DoomForAll knows it is only a matter of time.
Third contest: CHESS.
Both players take their positions at opposite ends of the board. The pieces are set, and away they go!
259 hours later...
Lord DoomForAll is in control, with 6 pawns, 2 castles and bishops, a knight, a queen, and his king to Vengeances 3 pawns, 1 castle, knight, bishop, queen, and king. He moves his queen five spaces towards Vengeance. All of a sudden, an amazed expression appears on Prof. Vengeances face, before splitting into a wide smile. With a shaking hand he snares his castle, moves it 4 spaces to the right and says the magic word.
Checkmate.
The audience is lost for words, but not as much as the being sitting before Prof. Vengeance. As Prof. Vengeance leaps and declares in a booming voice VICTORY IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a ball of white light forms at the end of DoomForAlls rift staff, and with hate coursing through his veins he thrusts it through Vengeances head, but too late; Vengeance had been expecting this, and he teleports to his lair just in time, to await the victim of the next fight.
Professor Vengeance advances to the semi-finals!Comment
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Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI
SEMI-FINALS
Professor Vengeance vs. Ming Higurashi
Diotoir vs. A stingrayComment
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Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI
You were robbed, Alex. You really were. I dont even know how to play chess.
A.T.T.T.W.I.
SEMI-FINALS
1) Ming Higurashi VS PROFESSOR VENGEANCE
Ive already lost Doc Botnik and a whole army of Cybermen to this lil lady, but the buck stops here. Inuyasha Mary-Sues are no match for cartoon Scottish supercrooks with delusions of grandeur!
The plan here is to attack her very core - her anime heritage - and I know just what weapons to use. A barrage of Beyblades will be sent out to distract her, while I activate an IMAX screen of the Sonic X English dub at full blast (Im desensitized to the horror of it all, so I should be alright). The screening will prove so agonizing for her, Ill have plenty of time to banish her back to the FanFiction.Net dimension.
And if that doesnt work, Ill just call on some snarky Inuyasha fans to sort her out. :wink:
2) Diotoir VS A stingray
I honestly have no idea. Erm...the stingray to rip up the famous fur.Comment
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Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI
Diotoirs composed of the fur of inferior mamals and the components of inferior machines, how can he possibly beat my Fish?!
My Stingray stings harder and swims faster than any robot. His weapon could easilly penetrate the infamous 10 mm of Hardox, let alone Diotoirs fur. Stingray can summon the oceans to drown Diotoirs motor and look at the rusty leftovers. And Stingray can run inverted, very handy for battling a flipper like Diotoir.
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Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI
Oh yeah?
Diotoir will eat your children.Comment
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Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI
my stingray is asexual!Comment
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Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI
Diotoir is gonna take that sting and use it as a toothpick, sucka!Comment
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Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI
my stings too poisonous for you to pick your teeth with!
I will rip your scoop off and use it to scratch my back!Comment
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Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI
I could sit back and watch you guys fight with tactics.
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