Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Beavis vs. Slipknot

House fighters are Cortez & The Sickness.

The fighters immediately square off. Its unfortunate that Kody forgets he used near-invisible ink for the entire fight so it goes like this:

Beaviswinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnsthankstoarand omoccurenceinwhichSlipknotfall intoaseriesofplotholesthatspitthemoutinpiecestosma llforeventhatmouseinthatChrist masrhymeIdunnoIwasntinspiredsosueme.

Beavis advances to round 3!

----

Fifi LaFume vs. A bowl of custard

House fighter is the Watcher.

The skunk grabs the bowl of custard and inserts her foul-smelling fumes into the sticky substance however this doesnt work because, of course, it cant smell. However, itdoes smell, in one word of the sense, in which the custard itself stinks, or else that the custard has a smelling sense. However The Watcher cant decide between the two and calls upon the other house fighters to see whats going on. Cortez enters the arena and squashes Fifi flat with his foot. Obelix engulfs the custard but upchucks it because thanks to the smell, its rotten. But since Fifi was squashed...

A bowl of custard advances to Round 3!

----

Pee-wee Herman vs. Rusty nail

House fighters are Ancalagon and Big Mac.

The nail is back in the hood, with his bling-bling shades and pimp jacket, rich from the lawsuit that expired Michael Jackson. Pee-Wee trips on the floor and sees the nail in front of him. Hes confused. The nail just sits there. They realize that they are really popular. In fact, neither party realize that the other is the enemy. So they decide to make their own show called the Pee-Wee & Nail Late Late Show in which they discuss shows that really suck and other stuff. Unfortunately as all good things do, after a time the show goes down in ratings and Pee-Wee blames the nail for it. The nail tries to argue but without another word Pee-Wee grabs the nail and hurls it into Mario de Jonghs workshop where he is somehow able to take it apart and turn it into a mini-blender.

Pee-Wee Herman advances to Round 3!

----

Mara Jade Skywalker vs. A goth who wields a tanto

House fighters are Obelix & Exa-Gore-Ic.

The two blade wielders meet in epic fashion. The Jedi Knight hurls aloft her light saber but the goth meets the swing with his tanto. Unfortunately for him tantos are no match for light sabers as they can cut through any metal except the arena floor which is invincible now to any kind of assault. The goth screams and runs away but Mara Jade is in hot pursuit. But as we all know goths dont scream unless theyre headbanging, therefore the entire last sentence was completely void. This also means that Mara Jade hasnt bothered to chase the goth, shes chatting with Exa-Gore-Ic. It seems a lot of the fighters in this tournament seem to think they can get along with the house fighters. However its not the case for Mara Jade as Exa-Gore-Ic gets tired of her flapping mouth and implodes just for the heck of it.

A goth who wields a Tanto advances to Round 3!

Will finish up the bracket later today.

[leorcc]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Turning a rusty nail into a mini blender. Interesting and not so hygenic idea.

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Hehe.

Time for Round 2 to be finished.

Ichigo Kurosaki vs. Bun-Bun

House fighters are Tira & The Sickness.

Youd think a big sword would be able to get rid of an annoying creature like Bun-Bun, right? Well, youre right, cause that big blade looks really sharp. Bun-Bun the rabbit squeals and bolts. However Ichigo knows that hell be arrested by the RSPCA if he lays one atom of the blade on Bun-Bun. So he decides to chase Bun-Bun into a house fighter. Bun-Bun never really fought in the ATTTWI before because of Kiki impersonating her and earning her a bye into the next round, so she doesnt know what to expect. This proves to be her demise, because in this tournament, people are supposed to expect something false to happen, not be afraid of the unknown happening, which is exactly what is happening to Bun-Bun. Suddenly Mr. Stu falls out of the sky and crushes Bun-Bun randomly. Everybody is confused, and a huge argument begins, eventually degenrating into an all-out brawl, with furniture flying, in which Stu escapes unscathed. Ichigo raises an eyebrow at this pathetic sight.

Ichigo Kurosaki advances to Round 3!

----

Shadehawk vs. A stingray

House fighters are Big Mac & Asterix.

Shadehawk leaps at the stingray and snares it but due to the sea creautres oily skin it slips from his grasp and lashes its tail at his feet. Shadehawk cries out in pain and stumbles, dropping right onto his face. The stingray isnt too happy though; hes supposed to be in water. It seems that the narrator was too lazy to buy a new tank filled with water. Kody smacks the narrator upside the head. Ow. Anyway Shadehawk again advances on the stingray, who is about to suffocate due to lack of air when suddenly the call of the Big Mac is heard. The stingray moves over slowly to the house fighter and devours it. It takes a long time for the stingray to eat Big Mac but thats good because youre supposed to savour every bite. Therefore this benefits the stingray and all of a sudden the stingray mutates into a cyborg shark creature with prosthetic legs and feet. Shadehawk recoils, repulsed by this horrid sight. Finally being able to survive on dry land, the cyborg shark grabs the anti-hero by the throat and beats him up and down the arena, and then throws him at Asterix. The gaul aims a solid punch right into Shadehawks forehead, resulting in his skull cracking and his eyeballs to pop out of his head. Suddenly the creature reverts back to the stingray. Guess it was only a one-time deal. The narrator, getting a threatening look from Kody (and Martijn), hurries over to the stingray and carries him off to Sea World.

A stingray advances to Round 3!

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A gold pocketwatch vs. Homer Simpson

House fighters are Taki & Hamlet.

Homer drools. Hes probably thinking of food or something like that. The pocketwatch is back together, even more catching than before, but still its the most damage incapable of Melissas entries. However Homer isnt too focused on the battle either. In fact it looks like hes fallen asleep in the standing position. How appropriate. Once again we call on the house fighters to help. Taki isnt listening; shes still not finished her martini from the last battle she was patrolling. Hamlet, however, jumps into battle immediately and...stops. He looks at the pocketwatch, picks it up...and then throws it at Homers head. The impact hardly does anything rather than cause a slight pause in his snoring, but the watch itself hits the ground. But surprisingly it withstands the fall and lies harmlessly on the ground. This happens to wake Homer up though. Without thinking he stumbles forward, and steps on the watch, crushing it completely. Hamlet groans; he was testing the toughness of the watch but there wasnt any need to. Homer slips on the broken watch and thuds against the ground, hard. The watch is buried beneath his massive weight. Taki is finished her drink and tosses it off the edge where it is sucked up by the vortex, and shrugs. Hamlet, for the sake of the watch, beats the daylights out of Homer.

But Homer Simpson advances to Round 3!

----

And the last fight of Round 2...

Pussycat vs. Danish cartoonist

The Watcher is the house fighter.

The cat is in a badly-drawn (with ink) comic strip; hes getting chased by some Rottweilers and, for some strange reason, Collies, who are generally very friendly with other animals, but maybe just want some action. Anyway the cat climbs up the tree but the tree is only partly drawn; the branches are missing. The cat goes flying over the tree and back onto the grass, but now there is no grass; its all bare ground. The cat races across the ground and finds a fence that is broken in some places. He flies through one of the ripped holes, in which one of the Rottweilers barrels through but instead takes out the entire fence; due to it being so flimsy it breaks apart owing to the strength of the mutt and the force that it used. The cat suddenly comes to the cliff. It turns and sees the dogs coming, and fear surges through it. Suddenly the scene pauses, for the cartoonist doesnt know how to end it. However, the cat looks around: everythings frozen in time except him. This is strange, and the cat shakes this off and spots the cartoonist sitting by a badly-drawn tree. The cat springs upon him yowling, and he cant defend himself as he is brutally torn to pieces to the claws and teeth of the cat.

Pussycat advances to Round 3!

Round 3 line-ups in a sec.

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Round 2 winners

Talkie Toaster
Kenshiro
Violent J
The Grim Reaper
Diotoir
St. Lucifer
Google
Black Mage
XS3
Full Metal Alchemist
Dr. Ivo Robotnik
Seong Mi-Na
Chuck Norris
Master Hand
Samus Aran
Mini-Fridge
Blaze Ya Dead Homie
Ming Higurashi
Hammer Brother
Foxpig
Lord DoomForAll
Professor Vengeance
Beavis
A bowl of custard
Pee-Wee Herman
A goth who wields a Tanto
Ichigo Kurosaki
A stingray
Homer Simpson
Pussycat

Round 3

Full Metal Alchemist vs. Hammer Brother
Professor Vengeance vs. Seong Mi-Na
Diotoir vs. A goth who wields a Tanto
Kenshiro vs. Foxpig
Violent J vs. XS3
Beavis vs. Samus Aran
Ming Higurashi vs. Google
Lord DoomForAll vs. Master Hand
Pussycat vs. Talkie Toaster
Pee-Wee Herman vs. Black Mage
Chuck Norris vs. The Grim Reaper
Dr. Ivo Robotnik vs. Homer Simpson
A stingray vs. St. Lucifer
Ichigo Kurosaki vs. A bowl of custard
Blaze Ya Dead Homie vs. Mini-Fridge

This time Ill need some tactics, as I use them for fillers. Please.

[swiss_tony]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Beavis vs. Samus Aran

Take out the chainsaw they stole from Tom Anderson ages ago, and cuter to ribbons. XD

Pee-Wee Herman vs. Black Mage
Act on a level so stupid it drops the Black Mages intelligence points to 0, rendering it useless and able to be crushed thanks to his crappy defense. :P

[leorcc]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Cool! XS3 is a wrestler right? So is Violent J. (JCW and former WWF).

[Guest]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Indeed, Leo. XS3 is my e-fed (online virtual wrestling) character.

w00t w00t for Round 3.

[pcbore]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Pussycat doesnt eat toast or bread products of any description, which would cause the toaster to throw a massive sulk. How things go from there I dont know

Black Mage solves this problem the way he solves every other: Hadoken!

[swiss_tony]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Yeah see, we got a little problem with that. Ryu and Ken called. They want their signature move back.

XD

[steven_mcg]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

A.T.T.T.W.I.
ROUND 3
PROFESSOR VENGEANCE VS Seung Mi-Na

Expect no sympathy towards my opponent here. The Prof is strictly a pirate man. :wink:
Fistfights have never exactly been the Profs forte, so Im thinking a random mech suit should do the job here (Maybe with a nice layer of adamantium armour. Try slashing that with your Scarlet Thunder blade.) Basically, either try to crush her or fling her into the loving arms of a House Fighter.
If the mech suit doesnt work, switch the cane to Sword Mode and take the plunge with a fencing match.

[tacoman]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Google tactics: I had to use Google to find out about the opponent, and thus, Google already owns them, and can summarily execute them.

Master Hand tactics:

Lord DoomForAll may be all powerful, but does he know why kids love Cookie Crunch? No,he doesnt. Master Hand does. Its because he wills them to. All he has to do is ransom the kids to fight for him, or hell dtop them loving Cookie Crunch. Id like to see Lord DoomForAmateur do anything against that!

[inuangel2007]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

For the battle versus Google, I was just planning on asking it a series of random questions rapidly (like maybe a thousand or more) and try to make it overload and go offline. If that doesnt work.... just asking it the true value of Pi.

Porfessor Vengence, on the other hand, is not going to be so easy. Reading his profile, I can tell its going to be hard to defeat him but, Seung Mi-Na never gives up. To get through you armor all shed have tpo do is Soul Charge before slahing through it like a hot knife through butter. Not a problem for somone of her skills. Her speed is excellent so Vengence would be hard put to catch her.

Good Luck To All In Round 3!!!

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Actually, I want Alex Holts tactics. Id like to see how he reacts to Dans tactics.

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Screw them for now. First fight of the third round!

Round 3

Full Metal Alchemist vs. Hammer Brother

House fighters are Asterix & Tira.

The Koopa with the hammer faces the Alchemist in epic sequence. The Alchemist immediately turns on the house fighters and fuses them to the ground to prevent them interfering. This gives the Hammer Brother his chance, and before the Alchemist can turn his eyes for a split-second, a hammer collides with his head. He falls forward and goes through the ground. Nobody knows what the hell happened, but its become rather apparent that the Alchemist has vanished from the battle. So the Hammer Brother has won this battle...or has he?
Suddenly, the floor starts to change. The adamantium layers turn liquidy. Asterix and Tira are expelled from the surface, covered in liquid metal, which hardens around them, making statues. Just as suddenly, the Alchemist bursts from the floor, a giant liquid adamantium monster, reeking, boiling in rage. The Hammer Brother shrieks and turns to run, but finds his feet hardened to the surface, which is beginning to turn devilishly hot. Suddenly he remembers that he brought a tankard of liquid nitrogen just in case Mario had some more fireballs to spit at him. Slowly he unzips his backpack and takes it out. Moving faster so his hands dont freeze off, he pours the nitrogen out. The Alchemist is bombarded with cold, and the heat is driven away replaced with cold steel. However nitrogen doesnt react so well with adamantium and the monster explodes in a mess of twisted metal. The Hammer Brother is blown back far but manages to just catch the edge of the arena and pull himself back up. When he does so, the smoke from the explosion disappears, and the audience are amazed. The Alchemist lies in the middle of the arena, spread-eagled, and drained of energy, but still conscious. Not for long though, as the Hammer Brother strides over to the fallen boy and slams a heavy sledgehammer across his skull. Unlike Mr. Psychos hammer this sledgehammer is completely solid, and the Alchemists skull cracks upon impact. Mr. Psycho snorts in the audience.

Hammer Brother advances to Round 4!!

More up soon.

[kodster]

Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

Professor Vengeance vs. Seong Mi-Na

House fighters are Ancalagon & The Sickness.

On one side of the arena is a powerful lord, exuding infinte amounts of chaos energy, and uncounted legions of minions. On the other side is a young woman of 23, wielding a staff with a blade on the end. Its Prof. Vengeance who breaks the silence; with a flash of his Uber-cane, a fully-functional adamantium suit appears on him, strengthening him tenfold. Strangely, its the same as the arena floor that got mulched by the Alchemist last time. Seong Mi-Na yells and charges her soul with a burst of blue light, but Vengeance just stands there with an inexplicable smirk on his face. Charging forward Mi-Na with all her strength thrusts Scarlet Thunder right into Vengeances gut. A burst of energy suddenly explodes around Vengeance, and the blade is repelled; not only that, but Mi-Na gets smashed into the chest by the handle of her weapon. She falls back and Vengeance once again extracts a phial of blue liquid and drains it. Such power courses through Vengeances veins that the arena is blown to shreds and the adamantium armour is scrapped. But Mi-Na isnt done yet. Her body floats in the air, and her eyes burn red before her soul begins its incredible transformation into the Phoenix. Vengeance is unfazed; a blue aura of light surrounds him as he watches intently. An qequally bright aura of orange folds around Mi-Na and they face each other, both at their prime. Mi-Nas hand clenches around Scarlet Thunder, which is engulfed in fire, whilst a strudy and extremely sharp knife-like attachment bursts out of Vengeances Uber-cane, alight with emerald and sapphire hues. For a moment, their eyes meet and narrow. Then...they strike.

+2>SMASH!!!

A huge burst of light blinds the entire universe for a split second, and then the audience stare at the fight. Its obvious who the winner is, as Seong Mi-Na goes flying into the stands with an almighty CRASH, the Phoenix spirit exorcised out of her and in front of Vengeance. Vengeance scowls, and without question absorbs the Phoenix into his Uber-cane, which glows more fiercely than ever, as Vengeance returns to normal. Seong Mi-Na groans, and is surprisingly helped to her feet by the Professor who confesses that she did indeed have enough power but not enough to beat him. He may be a supervillain, but hes still a gentleman.

Professor Vengeance advances to Round 4!!

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Diotoir vs. A goth who wields a Tanto

House fighters are Taki & Exa-Gore-Ic.

The Irish fuzzy scoopbot looks around. The goth is nowhere to be found. Diotoir wonders at this, for nobodys been late to a match since Round 1. It must be a coincidence. Somebody enters the arena, and its not the goth. Diotoir wheels around and with a rush of loathing he recognizes his arch-rival, Firestorm V. Its suddenly turned into an episode of Robot Wars as Firestorm flies at his nemesis (hehe, Nemesis ) in a burning rage. But of course this is the ATTTWI, so anything can happen. Right then, a ton of cows land on Firestorm and break his flipper off, not to mention burying him in beef. Laughing can be heard and Diotoir again wheels around to see The Wootinator, who was looking for Professor Vengeance but just missed him. Suddenly The Wootinator disappears, and gets into a fight with a piece of bacon. The cows and Firestorm also vanish, and Diotoir is beginning to get flustered when the goth finally arrives on the scene with his Tanto. Apparently the London transit is murder. The fight is finally under way, and the goth swings the Tanto up and brings it down hard to Diotoirs chassis. This should have completely levelled the Irish bot but Diotoir is severely overweight due to the amount of microchips he was eating for breakfast the other day. This contributed to his chassis and armour becoming much heavier and tougher than before, and the hit from the Tanto actually causes recoil damage to the goth, who falls over with his hands shaking and his head pounding. Diotoir reacts instantaneously, plunging right into the goth. A scream of intense pain that goes on half a minute pierces the air. Of course, you would scream too if about 25kg of cold metal scoop inserted itself into...somewhere between your legs. Diotoir pushes the goth into Exa-Gore-Ics area, who fires a bright golden at the goth, frying him crispy. The goth holds up a burning white flag in surrender, but that just causes Exa-Gore-Ic to blast him even more. All thats left of the goth is his Tanto.

Diotoir advances to Round 4!!

----

Kenshiro vs. Foxpig

House fighters are Obelix & Big Mac.

The foxpig still retains its superpowers from last round so Kenshiro is slightly at a disadvantage. Not that he cant get out of it, though, as the muscle man lumbers forward with the ground shaking under his feet. Foxpig is certainly taken back by the apparently gigantic berth of the man, but doesnt hestitate any longer. Man meets hybrid, and the punches they deal rock the arena. However Kenshiro, being the bigger opponent, has a greater pushback force so the foxpig is slowly being pushed towards the edge of the platform. Kenshiro isnt, though, aware of the foxpigs agility, and it swiftly ducks between a fist to the ground and lets fly a hind kick to Kenshiros, er, hindquarters. Kenshiro topples forward and falls off the edge, however he manages to catch it with his feet. Thats about the only thing he can do right now, as the foxpig chomps down on one of his feet. The superpowered jaws clamp down on Kenshiros limb and toss him off the platform and into the depths.

Foxpig advances to Round 4!!

Next up: The wrestling match - Violent J vs. XS3!